Mute Fraser challenge by china_shop

[china_shop]

Yeah. This is, uh, slightly over the word limit. And also kinda silly.

Cryptonomicon, F/K, PG, 5286 words

Sparkly gratitudinous thanks to lyra_sena for brilliant beta.

Comments

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Oh my god, I adore this so very very much.

“Do I know that story?” Ray asked Fraser.

“Everyone knows that story,” said Dief.

“Which story?” Ray insisted.

“When he was thirteen years old, he found a caribou on a mountain. He tried to coax it down, but the caribou got scared and by the time it'd let him near, it was practically dead,” said Dief, all in a rush.

“Oh,” said Ray. “That story. I like that one.”

Fraser leaned his head against the passenger window and closed his eyes.

“Who the hell you talking to?” said Giggenbach.

That was the point where I stopped fighting it and burst into total giggles.

And Dief the bitchiest of bitches! Hee. And oh, the sweetest and perfectness of the F/K stuffed mixed-in.

YAY.

[china_shop]

Yay! I'm so glad you liked it! *beam*

[laughingacademy.livejournal.com]

The story as a whole was brilliant, and funny, but this:

Fraser’s feet were hot and dry. They didn’t even smell bad. That was it—conclusive evidence that the guy wasn’t human (as if having a talking wolf wasn’t enough).

Fraser peeled his socks off, and picked up the pen in the toes of his right feet.

Ray gaped. “You’re kidding me.”

“No, Ray,” wrote Fraser in neat cursive script. “You must know that some disabled people write and paint with their feet.”

Ray nodded. He’d seen the Christmas cards.

“One particularly harsh winter in the Yukon, I taught myself to do likewise.”

“You guys really gotta get cable up there.”

...was the part that killed me. Because of course Benton Fraser can write with his foot.

[china_shop]

Because of course Benton Fraser can write with his foot.

Of course. *g* (And yay, that quote helped me pick up a typo. :)

So glad you liked it. Thanks! :)

[cherryice.livejournal.com]

Oh, hee! I love fics that even toss a bit out about Ray talking to Dief, so this was shiny and wonderful.

Some stories are just fun, and this is one of them. Thank you for sharing.

[china_shop]

So glad you liked it! Thanks! :)

[sam80853.livejournal.com]

OMG

How do you do that?! That's brilliant! Hilarious!

::giggle::

I can so see Ray at the phone: WTF does he want? TV? Curling?...

And Dief talking... ::falls over laughing and bumps her head - ouch::

“You could always make an honest Canadian of him.”

Awww....

[china_shop]

Hope your head's okay. *g* So glad you liked it. Thanks! :)

[nigeltde]

This was just so cute and funny and happy, I loved it so much. Thank you!

[china_shop]

Yay! Thank you very kindly. :)

[alinewrites.livejournal.com]

Not silly. No, no. Just funny and tender and great.
Kudos for t his! You made my day.

[china_shop]

I'm so glad. Thank you very much! *beam*

[eskarinasmith.livejournal.com]

I'll have whatever it is you're on - it must be the good stuff!
Loved attitude!Dief.
Off to friend you now...from the other side of the Tasman.

[china_shop]

Thank you! So glad you liked it. *beam*

[tazical.livejournal.com]

EEEE!!!! There was so much about this that I loved- the random plot, bitchy Ray and Dief, the footwriting, the almost-kiss, being nailed by a speed dial, Turnbull's cooking, Amy Earhart and the cute cute ending. EEEEE!!!

[china_shop]

Yay! Thank you! The random plot was so much fun to write. :)

[plumsnickety.livejournal.com]

Aw man, funny and sweet and sarcastic and utterly. freaking. perfect. And with Frannie fashion cracks too! Hee!

[china_shop]

*beam* Thank you so very kindly!

[lovekeller.livejournal.com]

“I haven’t got all night,” said Dief.

I had no idea Dief could be so impatient. This is very funny. The cable remark, Dief calling Ray a dickhead, Turnbull being Turnbull - just great.

[china_shop]

I had no idea Dief could be so impatient.

I think he was just enjoying being obstructionist. *g*

Thanks! :)

[tex.livejournal.com]

Can I just say it - this is brilliant! How appropriate that Dief should be the one to finally get Fraser and Ray together!

And he's much snarkier than I imagined he'd be!

[china_shop]

And he's much snarkier than I imagined he'd be!

But think how exasperated Fraser gets with him... *g*

So glad you liked it. Thanks! :)

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

And I don’t care if you’re amphibious or whatever
Many have tried to do Ray Kowalski's unique language skills. Many have failed to convince me. This is perfection.
And the whole darn thing made me laugh my butt off. Brava!

[china_shop]

Heh. I'd been randomly and half-heartedly casting around for the word "amphibious" for a couple of days, so it just seemed to fit... *g*

Very glad you liked it! Thanks. *beam*

[lynnmonster.livejournal.com]

I adore this beyond all sense and reason.

[china_shop]

I'm so glad! I was thinking of you when I came up with some of the more freakish elements. "At least I'm not giving anyone tentacles," I told myself. "It's not that weird." *g*

[burntcopper.livejournal.com]

Ever so, ever so, ever so pretty. And we need to see more of this Dief, yes indeed we do.

“We’ve got you now, you wascally wabbit,” Such a Dief line. :sporfle:

[china_shop]

Yay! So glad you liked. Thanks! :)

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

OMG. So fucking funny. And sweet. And just...loved it.

[china_shop]

Yay! Thank you!!! :)

[tobyfan.livejournal.com]

Oh my! This is clever and funny and snarky and so romantic. I never would have thought to give Dief a snarky tone. Very funny!

[vienna-waits.livejournal.com]

Dear God, this was funny! Speaking with the Queen's voice--that was pure genius. And the injuries: Fraser gets a speed-dial in the neck, Ray has the imprint of a dial on his butt...

*dies laughing*

Oh, I absolutely loved this. And it would have worked really well for the Necking Challenge, too.

[brooklinegirl.livejournal.com]

I - wow. I want to write an ESSAY on why I love this. It's completely funny, witty, totally true to the series. I love sarcastic, sniping Dief - I love this SO MUCH MORE than Dief being nice. I love Fraser having random talents - he taught himself to WRITE with his FEET. I love the injuries, the failure to communciate, the almost-kiss, the REAL kiss. It's wonderful and clever, and I spent all of it marveling at your BRAIN.

*smooches*

[china_shop]

Thankyouthankyouthankyou! *beams*

[merelyn.livejournal.com]

This was hysterical. I love how the characterizations of everyone- not just Fraser and Ray, but Frannie, Turnbull, and Dief- were spot on.

[china_shop]

Thank you so very kindly. *beam*

[elfiepike.livejournal.com]

your fic always feels like it would fit exactly into the DS universe; this is no exception. (that opening! XD) i love dief talking like a cartoon, and all of it, really.

[china_shop]

Oh, yay! Thank you so much! *beam*

[lilac-one.livejournal.com]

Can I live in your head? I want to crawl into your brain and be entertained. I have no idea how you came up with this, but I'm jealous that you could, and that the execution was flawless.

I hope that didn't come out as creepy as I think it may have.

[china_shop]

I have no idea how you came up with this

Heh, I started with the idea of Fraser using sign language to talk to Dief, who could act as interpreter to Ray. Which, uh, didn't actually make it into the story, because the whole thing snowballed wildly out of control. *g*

So glad you liked it. Thank you very kindly. *beam*

[akite.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful. Way too many good things to try and quote, but my favorite part was the secret computer in the basement. Now Fraser will have to make an honest Canadian out of Ray or risk treason. :g:

[china_shop]

Exactly! *g*

Thank you so much! :)

these are a few of my favourite things ...

[mergatrude.livejournal.com]

Dief!
Turnbull!
Frannie's navel!
A perp called Amy Earhardt!
The way you write an explosion!
Whumped!Fraser!
Whale blubber massage lotion!
Fraser's feet!
Ray taking Fraser's boots off!
Ray and Dief snark!
The computer that talks like the Queen!
Dief the chaperone!
Sizzling!
again - Sizzling!
Kissing!
All the ways they say "I love you" without actually saying it!

Re: these are a few of my favourite things ...

[china_shop]

*beams madly*

[dubhartach.livejournal.com]

Great. I'm still giggling. All the things they said points up) were funny were and then some.

[china_shop]

Thank you so very kindly. :) :)

[china_shop]

I'm still not sure I've got my head wrapped around the computer that talks like the Queen...

It was, uh, sort of inspired by the CKR eps of Nikita. :)

So glad you liked. Thank you very kindly. *beam*

[kiranovember.livejournal.com]

This was such goofy fun! Thanks for posting!

[china_shop]

Thanks! Glad you liked. :)