ds_flashfiction | Fuck or Die Challenge-by Ceares

For reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture this was written at the last minute. So it's not beta'd. My first post here, so sorry if I make any mistakes. Also, there is no actual fucking or dying in the story. Go figure.

Title: In the Pudding
Pairing: F/K
Rating: PG-language
Word Count: 660

In the Pudding

"Excuse me?"

"I said fuck or die."

The look on Eladio Santos' face told Ray that he was deadly serious. Of course the gun he had pointed at them was a strong hint as well.

Fraser might believe that all women were his sisters, but the was no way anybody who didn't know the Mountie would believe somebody that looked like Fraser and somebody that looked like Gina Santos, would spend hours together knitting. That was the story they'd tried to sell to Eladio after his goons had picked them up, but he wasn't exactly buying. Of course it was true. Ray had the scarf, hat and mitten set to prove it.

All Ray could think of was bluff, bluff, bluff. Keep Santos from killing the Mountie so Ray could kill him later for getting them into this situation in the first place. "I'm thinking you don’t trust me Eladio."

"Oh you're not the problem Blanco. It's the toy soldier here I'm worried about." He waved the gun menacingly in Fraser's direction.

So Ray had come up with the story about him and Fraser being lovers. He was hoping any distaste Santos might have for two men getting horizontal, would be offset by relief that his wife wasn’t cheating on him, and he might, might be willing to let them walk out the door. He'd never expected the other man to demand proof.

"Eladio I told you there is nothing going on between me and the Constable. All he talks about is Detective Vecchio. Ray this, and Ray that, constantly."

Ray figured Mrs. Santos was improvising, going along with the story until he looked over and caught the wave of red that suffused Fraser's face. He'd wonder what it meant sometime when they weren't in mortal danger.

"If that's true, then they shouldn't have any problems proving it."

She threw up her hands in exasperation. "Fine, you wanna stay here and watch them get it on, that's your business. I have an appointment at the hairdressers." She stopped at the door and turned back around. "I gotta wonder though why you're so eager to see two men fuck."

Santos stared at her retreating form, then turned back to them, bushy eyebrows pushed into a solid v-mouth pursed. "Shit! Get the hell out of here-both of you."

Fraser opened his mouth to speak, and Ray quickly slapped a hand over it. He used the other to drag Fraser towards the door.

"Hey you-red robin hood. From now on, you have a chaperone with you when you and Gina meet." He nodded as if satisfied he made his point.

They were a block from the house before Ray stopped. He kept his hand over Fraser's mouth. "Listen. I'm gonna say something and I want you to listen. Don't interrupt, don't excuse, and don't explain. Really listen to me here Fraser." The other man eyed him warily, and then nodded.

Ray took a deep breath and moved his hand. "You can't keep walking around like that," He gestured vaguely, "and expecting people to just wanna play tiddlywinks or something with you." He paused, but Fraser continued to look at him solemnly. "It's like you're what-cha-ma-call it? Snow blind or something. You're nice to everybody and you take an interest in them, and you smell great, and you look like a fallen angel, and you, you just… you've got to pay more attention to when somebody likes you."

Ray was on a roll now. He opened his mouth, getting ready to list specific instances of Fraser's obliviousness when the other man leaned in and silenced him, using a mouth to mouth technique that Ray found much more satisfactory than the hand to mouth he'd employed earlier.

Faced with an arm full of Mountie, Ray did the only thing he could, he wrapped his arms tight and held on, and Fraser proved that sometimes, he could see the nose on his face.

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Awww.

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Fuck or Die Challenge-by Ceares

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