Forgiveness Challenge
Jul. 22nd, 2005 08:23 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
mardahin.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionTitle: Past-tense
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
miriel
Rating: G
Disclaimer: The one you recognise? Isn't mine. The other one's all mine :)
Author's Note: Just happened to have a snippet from something I'm working on that fit this rather well. Thanks tofairestcat for a quickie beta and title advice.
"Do you think he ever forgave me?"
"Eh?"
"Oh you heard me. Did he?"
He sighed. "I don't know. It shook him up. He didn't think you'd follow through. I still don't know what all it was about, he never would tell me. For years I couldn't bring up your name. And mum just said that it wasn't her place. And you were just gone."
His blond companion shifted, examining his beer bottle with an unneccessary focus. "I’ve never forgiven him, don’t think I can. It wasn't just a matter of following through. He said if I left, I was no longer his son. He knew what that meant to me. But I could not stay, to stay meant never leaving. *Pauses* I think I can understand mum, sometimes. I just don't know how she left me behind. Or if she did. Dad was never willing to discuss it, and then it was rather moot, I think. It's all a bit blurry back then. And then there was your mum, and you, and there was always work to be done. Price never goes up, eh?"
There was a dry chuckle, "It's a law of nature or something. 'Life shalt never get easier in rural Saskatchewan'. Mum's still working as a nurse over in Leader. Same as before. Some things never change, eh? Was life back home really so bad?"
He sighed, "No, they don't. I... There were reasons. What about you, though? You're all grown up. You still on the farm?"
"No, mum put her foot down after everything with you. I graduate University next year, biology degree. Don't know what I'll do with it, but mum wanted me to do something that would give me options. I'm helping with this summer's harvest, and then she's going to decide what to do." He paused, "What reasons, Ren? I'm your brother, if you can't tell me then you can't tell anyone."
There was silence. Ren stared adamantly at a point on the wall.
"Ren? It wasn't anything I did, was it?" The young man's voice took on an childlike quality.
Ren abruptly turned to face his companion, "God, no, John. Don't ever think that. Leaving you behind was one of the hardest parts." He took a deep breath. "You said you're almost through University. So you know how it is back home, in a small town, compared with the cities?" He waited until he received a hesitant nod. "You can lose yourself in a city. No one knows that your mum left you and your dad when you were small, no one cares who you sleep with. None of that matters, not really. Or at least that's what I thought." He laughed, but it wasn't a happy sound. "Turns out I was mostly right, too. Just make sure your private life doesn't cross over into your duty and no one cares, eh? It's not like they encourage young constables to marry anyway."
A puzzled frown slowly resolved into amazement on John's face, "Who you... Ren, are you saying you're gay? That's why you wanted out so badly?"
He flushed, but did not look away. "Yes. Partially."
John leaned over and cuffed him, "Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have cared. Mum wouldn't have cared, for that matter. Dad, OK I can see that one... But you could have at least let us know you were alive."
He winced and rubbed his head, "You were 12. And I was only sorting it out for myself. You know I didn't socialize very much. It was as much the history and the looks as anything else, and those you know plenty about." He tipped his bottle back, taking a long swallow.
A quiet sigh. "Yeah, I guess I do at that." He studied his bottle introspectively, then raised it in a solemn salute. "So, to Dad?"
Ren raised his in response. "To Dad. Not forgiven, and certainly never forgotten."
*Clink*
Author:
mirielRating: G
Disclaimer: The one you recognise? Isn't mine. The other one's all mine :)
Author's Note: Just happened to have a snippet from something I'm working on that fit this rather well. Thanks to
fairestcat for a quickie beta and title advice."Do you think he ever forgave me?"
"Eh?"
"Oh you heard me. Did he?"
He sighed. "I don't know. It shook him up. He didn't think you'd follow through. I still don't know what all it was about, he never would tell me. For years I couldn't bring up your name. And mum just said that it wasn't her place. And you were just gone."
His blond companion shifted, examining his beer bottle with an unneccessary focus. "I’ve never forgiven him, don’t think I can. It wasn't just a matter of following through. He said if I left, I was no longer his son. He knew what that meant to me. But I could not stay, to stay meant never leaving. *Pauses* I think I can understand mum, sometimes. I just don't know how she left me behind. Or if she did. Dad was never willing to discuss it, and then it was rather moot, I think. It's all a bit blurry back then. And then there was your mum, and you, and there was always work to be done. Price never goes up, eh?"
There was a dry chuckle, "It's a law of nature or something. 'Life shalt never get easier in rural Saskatchewan'. Mum's still working as a nurse over in Leader. Same as before. Some things never change, eh? Was life back home really so bad?"
He sighed, "No, they don't. I... There were reasons. What about you, though? You're all grown up. You still on the farm?"
"No, mum put her foot down after everything with you. I graduate University next year, biology degree. Don't know what I'll do with it, but mum wanted me to do something that would give me options. I'm helping with this summer's harvest, and then she's going to decide what to do." He paused, "What reasons, Ren? I'm your brother, if you can't tell me then you can't tell anyone."
There was silence. Ren stared adamantly at a point on the wall.
"Ren? It wasn't anything I did, was it?" The young man's voice took on an childlike quality.
Ren abruptly turned to face his companion, "God, no, John. Don't ever think that. Leaving you behind was one of the hardest parts." He took a deep breath. "You said you're almost through University. So you know how it is back home, in a small town, compared with the cities?" He waited until he received a hesitant nod. "You can lose yourself in a city. No one knows that your mum left you and your dad when you were small, no one cares who you sleep with. None of that matters, not really. Or at least that's what I thought." He laughed, but it wasn't a happy sound. "Turns out I was mostly right, too. Just make sure your private life doesn't cross over into your duty and no one cares, eh? It's not like they encourage young constables to marry anyway."
A puzzled frown slowly resolved into amazement on John's face, "Who you... Ren, are you saying you're gay? That's why you wanted out so badly?"
He flushed, but did not look away. "Yes. Partially."
John leaned over and cuffed him, "Why didn't you tell me? I wouldn't have cared. Mum wouldn't have cared, for that matter. Dad, OK I can see that one... But you could have at least let us know you were alive."
He winced and rubbed his head, "You were 12. And I was only sorting it out for myself. You know I didn't socialize very much. It was as much the history and the looks as anything else, and those you know plenty about." He tipped his bottle back, taking a long swallow.
A quiet sigh. "Yeah, I guess I do at that." He studied his bottle introspectively, then raised it in a solemn salute. "So, to Dad?"
Ren raised his in response. "To Dad. Not forgiven, and certainly never forgotten."
*Clink*
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no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 06:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 03:36 pm (UTC)*Eyes her Saturday Schedule* Hmm. How much of this can be scrapped in favor of writing...
no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 11:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 03:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 01:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 03:43 pm (UTC)*Wanders off in search of a hypothetical boyfriend for Turnbull*
no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 05:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 05:39 pm (UTC)Oh, do you have contact info for Realtime contact? I'm normally on ICQ as 240-597-970 and sometimes on AIM as mgscifi (They cross interface so it depends which computer I'm on). Otherwise we can sort out who'll take what in the "Chronology Project" via comments, I just figured real time might be easier. And yes, I am back from Canada ;)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 06:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 07:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-23 08:26 pm (UTC)I will do my best to oblige. I need to track down my Ren-muse and tack him to my wall. Or possibly just sit him in the corner and ply him with strong tea and the occasional bottle of Molson when he's having a bad day. I've found that's the best way to get him to talk late at night.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-24 01:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-24 01:46 am (UTC)*Grins* Best thing ever about writing for minor characters :) All the more room to play about with, eh? Glad you liked it!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-25 09:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-25 09:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-31 04:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-31 06:09 am (UTC)(You wouldn't believe how much I've learned about RCMP training procedures in the last month. *Eyes books on shelf warily* I was actually asked by the woman at the NWMP museum if I was planning to apply to Depot. *Pitiful noises*.)