Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye by threequarters

[threequarters.livejournal.com]

Title: Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye
Rating:PG
AN: Leonard Cohen always inspires me to write DS. Beta'd by the amazing torakowalski



Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye

The sunlight filtering through the side window is warm and bright; the pool of light landing directly on us where we lay intertwined. I was tempted to choose another part of the room for our bed, but you were quick to inform me of the luxury of waking up in the warm sun. I relented, remembering your struggle to stay warm our first few weeks out. I never want to see you cold again.

That next morning we woke up together in a real bed for the first time and I was treated to the sight of you stretching and turning into the warm glow in a manner reminiscent of a large feline. You were indeed correct; in that moment of observance I experienced a luxury the likes of which I had never previously known, made all the more cherished by the knowledge that my contentment would be fleeting. That morning feels very far away now, and the time we had left then seems like an eternity to what we have now.

In less than six hours you will make the journey neither of us has spoken of for months, but has been as present in both our minds as the changed nature of our relationship. I want nothing more than to beg you to stay, but such an act would be fruitless and only serve to bring us both more pain. I can acknowledge the necessity of your return to Chicago, however the selfish part of me wishes there existed no such need.

You assure me you will visit; you promise to someday make this your home. Unfortunately, I am unable to take much comfort in those thoughts. Not because I do not trust you, I find that you are the one person I can always trust, even - and especially - when I am unable to trust myself. No, I find I am no longer able to hope for happiness - that ability stolen from me by a woman who took so much. And while you have helped me regain so much of what was taken, I feel that asking me to have hope in this moment is much akin to asking a recuperating invalid to run a marathon.

As if you can sense the dark direction of my thoughts, you stir, blond hair almost painfully bright in the early morning sun. You raise your head and look at me, and while I know you mean for your smile to be reassuring, I cannot help but notice my sadness reflected in your eyes. The kiss you give me is deep and warm and I am tempted to lose myself in the sheer kinesthetic pleasure of it. Perhaps that is your intention, but for once I find myself unable to be sidetracked by the physical pleasure you offer.

I cannot ignore the fact that in a few hours we will be standing together by the airstrip, preparing to say our goodbyes. It is very probable that I will tell you some long story about my father and Buck Frobisher, and I will no doubt prattle on about partnership. I will say "We'll always be partners no matter the distance," when what I want to say is, "You have to come back to me, no one will ever be able to fill your gap." But I know you will understand me nonetheless.

You always have.

You draw me away from my thoughts with your lips on my throat. "Don't be sad, Benton," you scold as you bite my shoulder.

"But Ray I -"

"Don't Ben," and your word is final. As your soft lips continue to make their way down my body I bury my hands in your wheat colored hair, wondering not for the first time how I will make it through the long dark winter with no sun to warm me.

Comments

[loz]

Oh, wow. That is all kinds of sorrow. And beauty. And it reads so well with the soundtrack. I'm stunned. You're a wonderful writer.

[threequarters.livejournal.com]

You're a wonderful writer.

*blushes* Thank you! Although it helps that the song is just so damn good.

Thanks for reading! :)

[sockich.livejournal.com]

*hurts*

This is just beautiful. Poor poor Fraser. *is sad*

[threequarters.livejournal.com]

This is just beautiful.

Thank you! I have been wanting to write this for a long time, but it kept getting pushed to the back burner. And this challenge came along and it was perfect.

I'm glad you liked it :)

[china_shop]

Oooh, that's just gorgeous. And also ouch.

[threequarters.livejournal.com]

Oooh, that's just gorgeous.

Thank you very much :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_inbetween_/]

Very fitting *sighs*

[threequarters.livejournal.com]

Very fitting

Thank you! I think that's one of the greatest complements for this challenge. Glad to know I did the song justice. Thanks for reading.

[mondschein1.livejournal.com]

I never want to see you cold again.

*melts*

[threequarters.livejournal.com]

*melts*

Glad you liked it :)

[bohemian--storm.livejournal.com]

That was absolutely beautiful. And it made my heart hurt, but god, so beautifully written.

[threequarters.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, thank you. I'm glad you liked it, hurt and all.

:)

[torakowalski.livejournal.com]

I know I keep saying it, but this is just so very pretty... *g*

[threequarters.livejournal.com]

I was really torn over whether or not to post it, but I'm glad I did.

this is just so very pretty

You know, it helps that I have this really awesome beta...

:)

[akite.livejournal.com]

::sniff:: That was lovely.

[threequarters.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it :)

[c-regalis.livejournal.com]

Aaaah. You just made me realize how much I adore Fraser. I tried to stay away from the song fic because I normally really don't like it. But that was beautiful. Thank you!

[threequarters.livejournal.com]

Yay! Thank you! You know, I try to avoid song fic too, but this idea had been bugging me forever. So when the challenge came around I thought it was a great excuse to finally get this written.

Thanks for reading!

[ekaterinn.livejournal.com]

Aww. I loved this - it's very beautiful. (And the Leonard Cohen song is a wonderful bonus!)

[threequarters.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And oh man, do I love Leonard Cohen. It seems almost every single one of his songs makes me want to write DS.

Glad you liked it!