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ds_flashfictionI found this one really hard. Well I've had a try. I don't think this is the best piece I've written and I'm not happy with it but see what you think....
It is meant to be in the genre style of a fairytale.
Unbetaed.
Title: The Pilot - a fairytale retelling
Author: Aingeal
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio (this is slash)
Rating: G
Summmary: A fairytale take on the events of the pliot.
Word Count: 1952
The Pilot – A fairytale retelling
Once upon a time, in the great land of Canada, in the Yukon Territory there was a king called Robert Fraser. He was good man, a kind man, one who believed in law and order and patrolled the Yukon with these aims in mind. Sadly he stumbled across some drowned caribou and discovered a quite nefarious scheme.
Before he could tell anyone however he was struck down a single bullet. He fell to the ground and as his body slipped down the slope slightly his red blood stained the whiteness of the snow but a few yards from where the caribou had met their end.
Meanwhile his son, Prince Benton Fraser, was also upholding his father’s values. He too patrolled the kingdom of the Yukon Territory looking for evil doers and had discovered one dynamiting a river and killing the fish there. He stopped the man and brought him in for punishment. Benton Fraser was also kind and donated the fish the man had caught to a nearby Inuit village. However upon his return to his post he was met by news of the death of his father.
He was taken to a morgue to identify the body. There he met his Step uncle Gerard who told Benton that his father had been shot by a stray bullet. But Benton Fraser was not convinced and visited the site of his father’s death. There he found an Inuit man taking away one of the caribou. He told Fraser the caribou had died as they had ‘drank too much’. Intrigued Benton took one of the other bodies to the morgue to try to discover the truth.
In his other investigations he discovered there had been six dentists from the faraway land of Chicago who were hunting near where his father had been killed. Benton resolved to track them down. However his Step uncle Gerard tried to dissuade him before he was told by a superior to let Fraser go. The world of the Yukon Territory was changing. A huge dam had been built and the old ways the Frasers lived by were disappearing. Fraser was sad as he left his home for Chicago.
Benton Fraser arrived in Chicago with his loyal wolf companion Diefenbaker. It was a strange place where people acted very different to those in the kingdom he lived in. But he upheld the Fraser values and was kind and honest to all he met. He even lent a man some money to help the man’s daughter, the man later returned it, and Fraser also gave food to the poor.
Yet he had no idea how he should go about looking for the men who may have killed his father in the land which was so different to his home. He found himself at the local law enforcement station where he was told to ask for a Detective Armani.
He found the man in the cells trying to entrap a criminal, an evil-doer. He was struck by the Detective’s beauty immediately. Yet he discovered the man’s real name was Ray Vecchio, not Armani and he wasn’t very happy to have Fraser ruin his chance to catch a criminal. Benton told Ray about his father and offered him advice that the man he was after was not who he appeared to be.
Ray was very remorseful and went to seek out the beautiful and alluring Mountie the next day. He found him at the consulate where Benton Fraser was standing guard for his kingdom’s diplomatic house in Chicago for that was the job he was to do. Ray apologised and offered to give Fraser al the help he required. Benton Fraser was most grateful, though he could not tell Ray so until his shift was over.
He and Ray set off on the trail of the dentists and discovered one had been dead for some time. They obtained a picture and Ray with his magical skill of identifying noses was able to tell Fraser who the man was; a man called Frankie Drake. This was the man that had so cruelly murdered Benton Fraser’s father. But the man had been paid to do so. Ray and Fraser set off to discover who might have arranged it. They used Ray’s vehicle which travelled the streets much as dogsleds did in Fraser’s home. It was remarkable.
They called to collect Fraser’s wolf Diefenbaker on their journey. Diefenbaker was a fine and friendly animal who greeted Ray upon their meeting. Ray was at first unsure of the strange creature but soon his fears were allayed. He took Fraser and Diefenbaker to a local tavern, a bar where they could find out who had hired Mr. Drake to kill poor Robert Fraser.
Ray went in first, alone, but he met trouble when the patrons of the bar found out he was an officer of the law. Luckily Benton Fraser and Diefenbaker appeared to help but sadly there was much violence in the bar as Mr. Drake made his escape.
Ray and Fraser had to go before one of the main law keepers in the land, Lieutenant Welsh, an older man with much experience. He was angry at Ray for causing so much damage. Ray was told to try to solve other crimes. Fraser was upset he had caused his friend harm for he was struck by Ray’s loyalty and zeal. He was falling in love with the officer. Sadly he had to leave Ray but before he did so Fraser heard from the doctor at the morgue and discovered the caribou near his father’s body had drowned.
Fraser found himself alone in a diner. He had had a drink and some food and took to reading his father’s journals. His father had been busy in his youth and his mother, Queen Caroline, had died when he was young. He had been brought up by Grandparents who were very learned and went across the land spreading knowledge through books.
Just as Fraser was becoming disheartened Ray, by some kind of magic, appeared at his table. Ray smiled and offered to share home and hearth with the lonely Benton. For Ray was falling in love with the Mountie.
They ate a good meal and Fraser was amazed by the lively conversation. At court in his homeland everyone must be quiet, even silent. This was an interesting change. It was while they were eating Ray suddenly exclaimed he knew where Frankie Drake could be found.
He and Ray took their leave of the family and set off into the night. They found themselves at the home of Frankie Drake’s wife, whom he had divorced, and his son. They asked Mrs Drake where her husband was. She was reluctant but gave them an address in the Chinatown part of Chicago, a place almost like a kingdom to itself.
As Ray and Fraser approached the place, sharing anecdotes and stories about their lives, they were unaware a trap had been laid. They searched the place where Drake had been staying but just as they were leaving Fraser set off a great explosion. Ray leapt to the defence of his newfound friend and love and pushed Benton out of harm’s way. But Ray suffered greatly as he was caught in the explosion.
Benton found himself at the bedside of Ray and expressed his apologies. He also expressed his love but he knew he could not stay. His Step uncle Gerard had summoned him back to the kingdom of the Yukon Territory to discuss the young Prince’s future. He was collected by Gerard but as they left Frankie Drake tried to shoot him. There was chase and at the end Benton had captured the killer but just as he was arresting him Benton’s Step uncle shot Drake dead.
Fraser was shocked and returned to the vast lands of the Yukon thinking about things. He stayed at the cabin his father had so liked. He missed his new found love Ray and wandered across the land. He met a local Inuit by the name of Eric who told Fraser about the dam. It was bad for the kingdom and was responsible for the deaths of many caribou, it was hurting the land. Robert Fraser had known about this and had been killed to protect the men behind the dam.
Fraser knew that his Step uncle Gerard must have known about all this and he confronted him. But Gerard told him his father, as the king, knew all about the trouble. Benton became angry and didn’t believe Gerard but he could not bring himself to kill the man for he had to clear his father’s name.
Resolved Fraser sent the body of a caribou to the offices of the men who had built the dam. They asked Gerard to se to it the Prince did not cause any further trouble. For Benton had no power. The power lay with the government itself. He was but a figurehead.
He knew he had angered the men and he stayed in the cabin with his loyal wolf was awaiting them. But when he heard a knock upon his door who should he find but Ray Vecchio upon the other side! He was pleased to see Ray indeed. Ray confessed his own love for Benton and told him he knew it was Gerard who had ordered the death of Robert Fraser. Benton explained he knew that and Ray was hurt his friend had not told him. Even so he pledged his help.
Benton Fraser did not have many weapons but Ray knew this was where his strength was and from his bag produced an assortment. Soon they were as ready as they could be as they awaited the arrival of the men Gerard would surely send to kill them.
Indeed as Benton was feeding his loyal dogs the men appeared. Ray was trapped in the cabin but managed to escape while making sure some of the men were dealt with. He met Fraser outside and they leapt aboard the dogsled with the men in pursuit upon strange enchanted motorised sleds.
But Benton Fraser knew the territory better than any other man and soon they had lost some of the men who had fallen in the snow or crevasses. Soon there were only two men behind them.
Ray leapt off the sled and was able to deal with one bay throwing a stick at the man to knock him from his strange enchanted motorised sled. Then Benton managed to lead one to the edge of a cliff. The man fell from a great height and was destroyed. But then Benton heard a gun click.
It was Gerard who had decided to do the job himself. Just then a shot rang out and Gerard slumped across the now. Eric appeared. It had been he who had shot Fraser’s Step uncle and Benton was grateful.
It was then Fraser discovered his noble wolf friend Diefenbaker had been shot. He placed his companion carefully in the sled and once Ray was aboard they set off into the nearest town, leaving Gerard, who was wounded, to the elements. They would return for him later. They went off into the sunset.
Gerard was sent to jail as punishment for his crimes but the government still supported the dam project and did not want the troublesome Prince to stay in the Yukon. They sent him back to Chicago in the guise of a diplomatic transfer. Yet Benton Fraser was very happy for Ray was in Chicago. His love met him at the airport and they kissed. Later that day Fraser moved in with Ray and they lived happily ever after.
The End (ish)
It is meant to be in the genre style of a fairytale.
Unbetaed.
Title: The Pilot - a fairytale retelling
Author: Aingeal
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio (this is slash)
Rating: G
Summmary: A fairytale take on the events of the pliot.
Word Count: 1952
The Pilot – A fairytale retelling
Once upon a time, in the great land of Canada, in the Yukon Territory there was a king called Robert Fraser. He was good man, a kind man, one who believed in law and order and patrolled the Yukon with these aims in mind. Sadly he stumbled across some drowned caribou and discovered a quite nefarious scheme.
Before he could tell anyone however he was struck down a single bullet. He fell to the ground and as his body slipped down the slope slightly his red blood stained the whiteness of the snow but a few yards from where the caribou had met their end.
Meanwhile his son, Prince Benton Fraser, was also upholding his father’s values. He too patrolled the kingdom of the Yukon Territory looking for evil doers and had discovered one dynamiting a river and killing the fish there. He stopped the man and brought him in for punishment. Benton Fraser was also kind and donated the fish the man had caught to a nearby Inuit village. However upon his return to his post he was met by news of the death of his father.
He was taken to a morgue to identify the body. There he met his Step uncle Gerard who told Benton that his father had been shot by a stray bullet. But Benton Fraser was not convinced and visited the site of his father’s death. There he found an Inuit man taking away one of the caribou. He told Fraser the caribou had died as they had ‘drank too much’. Intrigued Benton took one of the other bodies to the morgue to try to discover the truth.
In his other investigations he discovered there had been six dentists from the faraway land of Chicago who were hunting near where his father had been killed. Benton resolved to track them down. However his Step uncle Gerard tried to dissuade him before he was told by a superior to let Fraser go. The world of the Yukon Territory was changing. A huge dam had been built and the old ways the Frasers lived by were disappearing. Fraser was sad as he left his home for Chicago.
Benton Fraser arrived in Chicago with his loyal wolf companion Diefenbaker. It was a strange place where people acted very different to those in the kingdom he lived in. But he upheld the Fraser values and was kind and honest to all he met. He even lent a man some money to help the man’s daughter, the man later returned it, and Fraser also gave food to the poor.
Yet he had no idea how he should go about looking for the men who may have killed his father in the land which was so different to his home. He found himself at the local law enforcement station where he was told to ask for a Detective Armani.
He found the man in the cells trying to entrap a criminal, an evil-doer. He was struck by the Detective’s beauty immediately. Yet he discovered the man’s real name was Ray Vecchio, not Armani and he wasn’t very happy to have Fraser ruin his chance to catch a criminal. Benton told Ray about his father and offered him advice that the man he was after was not who he appeared to be.
Ray was very remorseful and went to seek out the beautiful and alluring Mountie the next day. He found him at the consulate where Benton Fraser was standing guard for his kingdom’s diplomatic house in Chicago for that was the job he was to do. Ray apologised and offered to give Fraser al the help he required. Benton Fraser was most grateful, though he could not tell Ray so until his shift was over.
He and Ray set off on the trail of the dentists and discovered one had been dead for some time. They obtained a picture and Ray with his magical skill of identifying noses was able to tell Fraser who the man was; a man called Frankie Drake. This was the man that had so cruelly murdered Benton Fraser’s father. But the man had been paid to do so. Ray and Fraser set off to discover who might have arranged it. They used Ray’s vehicle which travelled the streets much as dogsleds did in Fraser’s home. It was remarkable.
They called to collect Fraser’s wolf Diefenbaker on their journey. Diefenbaker was a fine and friendly animal who greeted Ray upon their meeting. Ray was at first unsure of the strange creature but soon his fears were allayed. He took Fraser and Diefenbaker to a local tavern, a bar where they could find out who had hired Mr. Drake to kill poor Robert Fraser.
Ray went in first, alone, but he met trouble when the patrons of the bar found out he was an officer of the law. Luckily Benton Fraser and Diefenbaker appeared to help but sadly there was much violence in the bar as Mr. Drake made his escape.
Ray and Fraser had to go before one of the main law keepers in the land, Lieutenant Welsh, an older man with much experience. He was angry at Ray for causing so much damage. Ray was told to try to solve other crimes. Fraser was upset he had caused his friend harm for he was struck by Ray’s loyalty and zeal. He was falling in love with the officer. Sadly he had to leave Ray but before he did so Fraser heard from the doctor at the morgue and discovered the caribou near his father’s body had drowned.
Fraser found himself alone in a diner. He had had a drink and some food and took to reading his father’s journals. His father had been busy in his youth and his mother, Queen Caroline, had died when he was young. He had been brought up by Grandparents who were very learned and went across the land spreading knowledge through books.
Just as Fraser was becoming disheartened Ray, by some kind of magic, appeared at his table. Ray smiled and offered to share home and hearth with the lonely Benton. For Ray was falling in love with the Mountie.
They ate a good meal and Fraser was amazed by the lively conversation. At court in his homeland everyone must be quiet, even silent. This was an interesting change. It was while they were eating Ray suddenly exclaimed he knew where Frankie Drake could be found.
He and Ray took their leave of the family and set off into the night. They found themselves at the home of Frankie Drake’s wife, whom he had divorced, and his son. They asked Mrs Drake where her husband was. She was reluctant but gave them an address in the Chinatown part of Chicago, a place almost like a kingdom to itself.
As Ray and Fraser approached the place, sharing anecdotes and stories about their lives, they were unaware a trap had been laid. They searched the place where Drake had been staying but just as they were leaving Fraser set off a great explosion. Ray leapt to the defence of his newfound friend and love and pushed Benton out of harm’s way. But Ray suffered greatly as he was caught in the explosion.
Benton found himself at the bedside of Ray and expressed his apologies. He also expressed his love but he knew he could not stay. His Step uncle Gerard had summoned him back to the kingdom of the Yukon Territory to discuss the young Prince’s future. He was collected by Gerard but as they left Frankie Drake tried to shoot him. There was chase and at the end Benton had captured the killer but just as he was arresting him Benton’s Step uncle shot Drake dead.
Fraser was shocked and returned to the vast lands of the Yukon thinking about things. He stayed at the cabin his father had so liked. He missed his new found love Ray and wandered across the land. He met a local Inuit by the name of Eric who told Fraser about the dam. It was bad for the kingdom and was responsible for the deaths of many caribou, it was hurting the land. Robert Fraser had known about this and had been killed to protect the men behind the dam.
Fraser knew that his Step uncle Gerard must have known about all this and he confronted him. But Gerard told him his father, as the king, knew all about the trouble. Benton became angry and didn’t believe Gerard but he could not bring himself to kill the man for he had to clear his father’s name.
Resolved Fraser sent the body of a caribou to the offices of the men who had built the dam. They asked Gerard to se to it the Prince did not cause any further trouble. For Benton had no power. The power lay with the government itself. He was but a figurehead.
He knew he had angered the men and he stayed in the cabin with his loyal wolf was awaiting them. But when he heard a knock upon his door who should he find but Ray Vecchio upon the other side! He was pleased to see Ray indeed. Ray confessed his own love for Benton and told him he knew it was Gerard who had ordered the death of Robert Fraser. Benton explained he knew that and Ray was hurt his friend had not told him. Even so he pledged his help.
Benton Fraser did not have many weapons but Ray knew this was where his strength was and from his bag produced an assortment. Soon they were as ready as they could be as they awaited the arrival of the men Gerard would surely send to kill them.
Indeed as Benton was feeding his loyal dogs the men appeared. Ray was trapped in the cabin but managed to escape while making sure some of the men were dealt with. He met Fraser outside and they leapt aboard the dogsled with the men in pursuit upon strange enchanted motorised sleds.
But Benton Fraser knew the territory better than any other man and soon they had lost some of the men who had fallen in the snow or crevasses. Soon there were only two men behind them.
Ray leapt off the sled and was able to deal with one bay throwing a stick at the man to knock him from his strange enchanted motorised sled. Then Benton managed to lead one to the edge of a cliff. The man fell from a great height and was destroyed. But then Benton heard a gun click.
It was Gerard who had decided to do the job himself. Just then a shot rang out and Gerard slumped across the now. Eric appeared. It had been he who had shot Fraser’s Step uncle and Benton was grateful.
It was then Fraser discovered his noble wolf friend Diefenbaker had been shot. He placed his companion carefully in the sled and once Ray was aboard they set off into the nearest town, leaving Gerard, who was wounded, to the elements. They would return for him later. They went off into the sunset.
Gerard was sent to jail as punishment for his crimes but the government still supported the dam project and did not want the troublesome Prince to stay in the Yukon. They sent him back to Chicago in the guise of a diplomatic transfer. Yet Benton Fraser was very happy for Ray was in Chicago. His love met him at the airport and they kissed. Later that day Fraser moved in with Ray and they lived happily ever after.
The End (ish)
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no subject
Date: 2005-10-01 12:00 pm (UTC)Nice and very clever.
Well done - this was fun to read and a lovely version of the story.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-01 12:30 pm (UTC)Nice and very clever.
Well done - this was fun to read and a lovely version of the story.
Thank you very much.
I'm glad you enjoyed it and that it worked.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-01 12:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-10-01 07:40 pm (UTC)It does indeed.
Very nice :)
Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-02 03:39 am (UTC)He had been brought up by Grandparents who were very learned and went across the land spreading knowledge through books.
an address in the Chinatown part of Chicago, a place almost like a kingdom to itself.
And best of all, Ray and his magic bag full of weapons!
Also loved The End(ish)
Great idea. I never would have thought of this genre in a million years, and I love fairy tales. Funny how the mind works.
no subject
Date: 2005-10-02 09:29 pm (UTC)Thank you! Glad it worked.
And best of all, Ray and his magic bag full of weapons!
He is a conjourer indeed.
Great idea. I never would have thought of this genre in a million years, and I love fairy tales. Funny how the mind works.
It is. I was wondering what sort of genre to and then I thought fairytale....because there are so many elements which can be said to be of that genre, in the pilot anyway.