Cheating challenge by china_shop: This Here Now

[china_shop]

F/K, K/V, R-rated, 40k.

Angst for aerye. Big angst.

This Here Now

With bordering-on-hysterical thanks to sprat and sageness for beta.

Comments

[capella-fic.livejournal.com]

Big angst is right! Beautifully done, as always, but oh, it HURT.

Still, painful or not, it's always a true pleasure to read your fine writing, and I can see how this particular outcome is right in many ways, given the build up.

I'm off now to sit in a quiet corner and feel sad about my OTP. But thanks, anyway.

[eledhwenlin]

You made me CRY. *sniffle*

Beautiful, but ow. I need to go read fluff now.

[icarion.livejournal.com]

Ow. That really hurt! In a very awesome way, but damn! I'm also gonna have to go consume copius amounts of fluff.

[kalijean]

That was heart-breakingly fantastic. I'm blown away, I swear.

You kick ass :)

[aerye.livejournal.com]

Oh, my god, I love you so much. There's just so much perfect pain in this, such lovely razor sharp moments. It's an impossible choice that has to be made.

I will gush over you later.

[mei-x.livejournal.com]

This was wonderful. So heartwrenching -- but in the end, it was the best resolution for this story.

[lucifercircle.livejournal.com]

You broke them!
So painful.
You couldn't have ended it with a threesome?
I didn't enjoy this, but it was good.

[tharaist.livejournal.com]

That was very good and painful at the same time. Your Vecchio managed to steal my heart and my sympathy. The toilet scene was superb. Kowalski making his impossible choice and Vecchio just sitting there. The details, the choked
sound and the touching. Just excellent!

Also, Fraser gone missing scenario was somehow really DS, balancing between amusing and sad. They called him Nanook! *g*

Thank you for writing!

[missapocalyptic.livejournal.com]

Ouch. Just... ouch.

But it hurts so good.

[akite.livejournal.com]

OMG, you've broken me. Such a wonderful, angsty story. As bad as I feel for Fraser, your Vecchio got all my sympathy. I'm glad Kowalski stayed with him.

[fallen-arazil.livejournal.com]

... *ded*

You've killed me. That was brilliant. It just ... hurt in such a good way. (of course, I was hoping RayK woudl go of with Fraser, but that's because they're my OTP)

Anyway, this was handled brilliantly, and you handled Vecchio's angst perfectly. After all, Fraser was his best friend before he wa sanything to RayK, so it must be a weird sensation to be so threatened by him.

~Djinn

[izzybeth.livejournal.com]

this is crazy amazing heartbreaking seriously painful to read. just. fuck. ow. because your Vecchio, with his family and this perfect thing he has going with Kowalski despite the family, and your Kowalski, forced to make that choice out of absolutely nowhere... and you made me feel bad for poor fucked-up Fraser. up until the end. "He had many adventures." i LOVE that.

angst is usually not quite my cup of tea, but this is so worth it. SO worth it.

[justbreathe80.livejournal.com]

God, this HURT, but it was perfect and wonderful. God, poor Fraser, and Vecchio's so fucking torn up and it's the way it should be, even if it feels like everyone should be happy.

I kind of kept wanting it to turn into F/K/V, Fraser could stay...but it was right just the way it was.

[pearl-o.livejournal.com]

Waaaaaaaaaaah. I knew it was going to end this way, but I couldn't help hoping anyway, but -- no. Fraser always loses. *cries*

The images of Vecchio watching both of them under the tree is just gorgeous.

[buzzylittleb.livejournal.com]

*blubs*

[nos4a2no9.livejournal.com]

Man, when you say angst you mean angst. This is tough material to handle, especially given the POV style you chose to use because the first-person thing by it's very nature makes your reader sympathize with everyone. However, I think the story really benefited from the first-person narration. It was great to get all three men's reactions to the way their lives have suddenly gone ass-end up, and I found Vecchio's internal misery to be especially compelling. It was an interesting choice to claim that of the two possible outcomes RayK/Vecchio is the pairing that leaves everyone the best chance of survival; almost any other writer would probably have said that Fraser wouldn't really survive without RayK. I like that RayK's choice came down to a decision about what was kind rather than what was best for himself; his decision was motivated by loyalty to his new love, and it was a mature choice in a highly complex and difficult situation.

The last line was, of course, perfect. For me it summed up something intrinsic in Fraser's character and in the show: "He had many adventures" IS Fraser's life, because he's always caught up in the journey. Like Ulysses, getting home is never the point - it's the journey that matters. The long exile in Chicago and the search for Franklin's hand, the constant theme of homelessness and movement and all the other small indicators that Fraser, like his father, is destined to always remain at arms' length from belonging were beautifully evoked here. So I'm sad, but it's a satisfied sort of sadness. Thanks for postig this.

[mergatrude.livejournal.com]

You are evil and brilliant!

[mickeymvt.livejournal.com]

You broke me. *sob*

[katallison.livejournal.com]

I adore this story, and I really want to say more about it, when I am back from Vividcon and have actually gotten some SLEEP, but for now, just -- big big love.

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

Nnngh! Just—I—*chest clutch*

GODDAMMIT.

Nicely done. You brought out some memories I haven't thought about in years, and for that I don't know what to say, except, Wow.

wow!!

[wildfire-15.livejournal.com]

Holy wow. I read this yesterday and can't stop thinking about it. What a terribly heart-rending wonderful story. Good job!

[helleboredoll.livejournal.com]

Ow ow owowo wowowowww!!!!! Why you have to hurt me so good/bad, you wonderful cruel woman?! Curse/bless you!! *g*

The only thing that could make this better is an alternate ending where he chooses Fraser. ;P

[lorem_ipsum]

[insert feedback here]

Can't do any better than that right now. You broke me.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Mmm, this was great, and I don't know how I missed it when it was first posted. I love this sort of emotional honesty and rawness. I also like the way you chose to present Fraser's absence, with the details coming in bit by bit.