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Title: On Being Queer
Author: Luciferofthecircle
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski
Rating: PG
Word Count: 562
Notes: No beta as I only just got this done in time. Therefore be as critical as you like and please point out any spelling mistakes, typos etc.
Disclaimer: If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge for sale.
Summary: But if I had to pick a label, the label to describe me, I’d pick queer.
I don’t like labels. Labels box you in, lock you up and then throw away the key. Once you’ve got a label you’re not allowed to be anything else. But if I had to pick a label, the label to describe me, I’d pick queer.
See, queer’s got a couple of different meanings. There’s queer-odd and queer-different and queer-…queer. You know what I mean.
And I ain’t got no problems being described as odd or different. Being known as an odd-ball or a kook, it keeps the people around you on their toes, makes life more interesting.
But I’m also the other kind of queer. The kind that gets a guy whispered about in locker rooms and beaten up in alleyways. So I’m not what you’d call open about being that sort of queer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not uncomfortable about it either, I’m totally cool with that side of my sexuality. I’m fully in touch with myself and all that other psychological bullshit. I’ve even had some fun times. I just don’t broadcast it.
The Mountie – he’s another queer one. Queer-odd for sure, who the hell licks electrical sockets? And acting like he understands what the wolf is saying, that can’t be normal even by Canadian standards. I’ve never met a guy more different either. It’s like he goes out of his way to prove what a freak he is. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
I’m kinda hoping he’s the other kind of queer too. There are signs, like the way he ignores all those women who throw themselves at him and the way he looks at guys sometimes, especially when he thinks I’m not watching.
I’ve got some rather particular hopes at this moment in time because he’s coming over tonight for beer and pizza and hockey. Or so he thinks anyway. Me, personally, I’m going to tell him how much I value him as a friend. And as more than a friend. And then I am going to ask his permission to court him. He’ll appreciate the courting. Fraser’s not the sort of person who jumps right into sex, I don’t think, and nor am I. You’ve got to get to know the person better. Movies, restaurants, holding-hands, kissing on the couch, that’s half the fun.
I don’t think this will wreck our friendship (and Fraser is, without a doubt, the best friend I have ever had) because Benton Fraser is not homophobic. He might get all weird on me though; avoid me like he does Frannie. But I’ve gotta try, I care about him too much not to. And if Fraser is amenable to being courted, I think it’ll be for keeps. That’s what I want (hey, if you’re going to aim high you may as well aim for the very top) and I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who’d settle for anything less. Mr Commitment, that’s him.
He’ll be here in five minutes. I’m shaking, sweating, jittering on the spot. I want to put some music on, dance my nerves away, but I’m worried I’ll miss his knock. Instead I pace, running through what could happen, what I want to happen, in my head. See, even after everything that happened with Stella, I can’t help hoping, can’t help thinking everything will turn out for the best.
I’m queer like that.
***
So what do you think?
Author: Luciferofthecircle
Pairing: Fraser/Kowalski
Rating: PG
Word Count: 562
Notes: No beta as I only just got this done in time. Therefore be as critical as you like and please point out any spelling mistakes, typos etc.
Disclaimer: If you believe that, I’ve got a bridge for sale.
Summary: But if I had to pick a label, the label to describe me, I’d pick queer.
I don’t like labels. Labels box you in, lock you up and then throw away the key. Once you’ve got a label you’re not allowed to be anything else. But if I had to pick a label, the label to describe me, I’d pick queer.
See, queer’s got a couple of different meanings. There’s queer-odd and queer-different and queer-…queer. You know what I mean.
And I ain’t got no problems being described as odd or different. Being known as an odd-ball or a kook, it keeps the people around you on their toes, makes life more interesting.
But I’m also the other kind of queer. The kind that gets a guy whispered about in locker rooms and beaten up in alleyways. So I’m not what you’d call open about being that sort of queer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not uncomfortable about it either, I’m totally cool with that side of my sexuality. I’m fully in touch with myself and all that other psychological bullshit. I’ve even had some fun times. I just don’t broadcast it.
The Mountie – he’s another queer one. Queer-odd for sure, who the hell licks electrical sockets? And acting like he understands what the wolf is saying, that can’t be normal even by Canadian standards. I’ve never met a guy more different either. It’s like he goes out of his way to prove what a freak he is. And I mean that in the nicest possible way.
I’m kinda hoping he’s the other kind of queer too. There are signs, like the way he ignores all those women who throw themselves at him and the way he looks at guys sometimes, especially when he thinks I’m not watching.
I’ve got some rather particular hopes at this moment in time because he’s coming over tonight for beer and pizza and hockey. Or so he thinks anyway. Me, personally, I’m going to tell him how much I value him as a friend. And as more than a friend. And then I am going to ask his permission to court him. He’ll appreciate the courting. Fraser’s not the sort of person who jumps right into sex, I don’t think, and nor am I. You’ve got to get to know the person better. Movies, restaurants, holding-hands, kissing on the couch, that’s half the fun.
I don’t think this will wreck our friendship (and Fraser is, without a doubt, the best friend I have ever had) because Benton Fraser is not homophobic. He might get all weird on me though; avoid me like he does Frannie. But I’ve gotta try, I care about him too much not to. And if Fraser is amenable to being courted, I think it’ll be for keeps. That’s what I want (hey, if you’re going to aim high you may as well aim for the very top) and I don’t think he’s the kind of guy who’d settle for anything less. Mr Commitment, that’s him.
He’ll be here in five minutes. I’m shaking, sweating, jittering on the spot. I want to put some music on, dance my nerves away, but I’m worried I’ll miss his knock. Instead I pace, running through what could happen, what I want to happen, in my head. See, even after everything that happened with Stella, I can’t help hoping, can’t help thinking everything will turn out for the best.
I’m queer like that.
***
So what do you think?
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 09:26 am (UTC)Great Ray voice, I can see him jittering in his apartment, waiting for Fraser.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 03:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 10:43 am (UTC)You know what's in Ray's head, and his heart and you know how to frame it all up perfectly with a last line sent from heaven. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 04:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 06:50 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 10:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 04:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 11:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 04:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 11:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 04:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 12:17 pm (UTC)Well, sice you said, "please point out any spelling mistakes, typos etc." - The words in brackets are sub-sections of the main sentences, so I don't think they should be capitalised or have full stops/periods at the end, but everything else is perfect! *g*
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 04:26 pm (UTC)I'll get right on that, thanks.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 01:21 pm (UTC)Is it too greedy of me to want to know what happens after Fraser shows up?
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 04:30 pm (UTC)Fraser delightedly accepts Ray's offer of a courtship and then they watch hockey, sitting side by side. Fraser leaves at the end of the night, but Ray gets a goodnight kiss. The next night they have dinner at a fancy restaurant, in a private booth so they can feed each other ice-cream. And eventually they have sex and even more eventually they end up in Fraser's cabin in Canada, where they live happily everafter.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 01:53 pm (UTC)Fraser do this?? Noooo...
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 04:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 04:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 04:33 pm (UTC)I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 06:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-21 08:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-03-16 08:37 am (UTC)