OC Challenge by Luciferofthecircle: The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away

[lucifercircle.livejournal.com]

Title: The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away
Author: Luciferofthecircle
Rating: PG
Word Count: 432
Pairing: Eloise/Davie
Notes: ultra_chrome gave this a prod with her beta-stick. The title is from the Bible, Job i. 21.This fic is set just after Say Amen. That episode left a load of questions unanswered. Oh, and I’m an atheist, so apologies if I’ve got any quotations wrong.
Disclaimer: Yeah right.
Summary: They were just worried that she’d get hurt; they were trying to keep her safe. They were trying to protect her.



She’s so confused. She should stay with Davie, he’s still hurt, even if he is out of danger. But her parents are in jail. She doesn’t understand why. That nice Constable Fraser says they aren’t really her parents, that they killed her real parents, but that can’t be right, can it?

Because she loves them. And they love her, she knows they do. That’s why she had Addie as a bodyguard. That’s why they didn’t like Davie. They were just worried that she’d get hurt; they were trying to keep her safe. They were trying to protect her.

Detective Vecchio said her parents were only interested in the money she could make for them. But she’s helped people, healed them. Even if she didn’t do it every service, even if it was only one in ten, one in twenty, she’s still cured people. And she gave hope to thousands of others. Everyone who came to the service, all those who listened to the radio show.

So even if her parents did… Even if they really… She wouldn’t have been able to help all those people without them. So maybe… maybe they just wanted to share her gift with the world. Maybe her real parents were bad people, who were hurting her, trying to stop her using her gift.

Only her parents never said anything about it. And they killed Addie. And they tried to get Davie into trouble. She doesn’t know what happened to her ‘real’ parents. Constable Fraser could be wrong. And she’s never trusted Addie. He was always looking at her and she never liked the look on his face. It was… hungry. But she’s so angry about what they did to Davie. They got him hurt. They nearly had him sent to prison.

But she’s supposed to forgive them. For everything. Honour thy father and thy mother. But if they aren’t her father and mother does she still have to honour them? They did everything parents should, they raised her right. And she doesn’t have any brothers or sisters. If they couldn’t have children themselves… Judge not lest ye be judged. Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Her name isn’t really Eloise Barrow, it’s Marcy Davenport. She thinks she prefers Eloise.

But she needs someone to talk to. Someone who won’t ask questions, someone who won’t judge her or her parents. Someone she trusts, someone who’s always been there, who knows her, who loves her. Someone who understands…

So she does the only thing she can think of. She gets on her knees and prays.

***

So what do you think?

Comments

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Aw! I just saw this episode Friday night (for the first time) and so this really hits me. Poor Eloise.

[lucifercircle.livejournal.com]

Thank you. I'm glad I could make you feel for Eloise.

[china_shop]

Aw, poor Eloise! *pets her*

[lucifercircle.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it.

This is going to be very, very rambly and incoherent. Appologies in advance.

[nos4a2no9.livejournal.com]

First of all, thank you so much for writing episode-based fic for Say Amen. Because that episode? Is filled to the brim with possibilities that need to be explored. I really liked your take on Eloise and the way her whole world was turned upside down by the revelation about her "parents". The emotional fallout from Fraser and Ray's discovery wasn't really dealt with in the episode beyond the whole, "And now she has Davey, so she'll be fine!" and every time I watch the ep I have this lingering sense of unease, like, "Really?" This was an excellent way to address that problem, and I'm glad that you left it unresolved. Her appeal to a higher power for answers was also a good choice; I'm glad this didn't involve her approaching Fraser for another "We're the same, see?" conversation, which is probably the way I would have gone. This seemed much more genuine and in-line with the way Eloise relates to her spirituality; God would seem to be the one constant element in her life and the one thing she could really trust after the events of the episode, and I really like the way you focused on her rock-solid faith and resisted the easy way of writing her as embittered towards God, or at least questioning her beliefs, because of her experiences. The character we were introduced to in the episode was more complicated than that, and your fic definitely affirms that aspect of Eloise.

I'm an atheist myself and I appreciated the way the episode credited Eloise's faith while still questioning the motives of the people who used her for their own personal gain. There was a lot of that subtley in this fic (can you tell I liked it?) and stories like this should serve as an inspiration for OC challenges. Thanks for giving us another look at Eloise, and for delivering such a mature and complex portrait of her as someone in personal, but not spiritual, crisis. Nice work.

Re: This is going to be very, very rambly and incoherent. Appologies in advance.

[lucifercircle.livejournal.com]

Wow. First of all, thank you very, very, very much. It's awesome to know that somebody appreciates what I've written and it's really made them think.

I really enjoyed the first 3/4 of Say Amen and then the last 1/4 really let me down. First there was the random singing, then there was the fact that we don't see Eloise dealing with what happened with her parents. I think it wasn't put in because it would have made the whole show darker than the kind of thing that PG was going for. However if I found out that the people who I thought were my parents had actually killed my real parents I'd be pretty devastated.

The episode makes it very clear that Eloise loves her parents, despite the restrictions they've placed on her. At no point is she angry with them for not being allowed to see Davie, not even in a typical, teenage, I-hate-you,-you've-ruined-my-life, stamp out, slamming doors way. So finding out they are going to jail, for whatever reason would have a massive emotional impact that the episode just didn't deal with.

Also Eloise seemed very confident in her faith. She obviously believes in God because she was raised in a church by strict parents, but that's not the way she sees it. To her, her belief in God is completely natural and separate to her upbringing.

It's also clear that Eloise also believes her parents love her and are doing their best for her. And while there is obviously a money related reason for why they care about her, I wondered whether they also loved her for herself as well. Her mom does call her A precious jewel. Because they've been looking after her for years now.

What I'm trying to say is I put quite a bit of thought and effort into this (Including reading through the transcript of Say Amen as I was writing it.) and it is wonderful to know that my hard-work was appreciated. Cheers!

[ultra-chrome.livejournal.com]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: you have a talent for telling us what's inside a character's head in very few words.

I always look forward to your stories for this comm, because I know without a doubt that you're going to get to the heart of whatever matter has taken your fancy at the time.

This is yet another example of that. And I love it for that very reason. :)

[lucifercircle.livejournal.com]

Thank you kindly. That's a great compliment. And I love writing them.