another one

[doll-revolution.livejournal.com]

it's much shorter, though. and a little strange. oh, well.



The snow was falling ever heavier, obscuring my vision, obscuring the trail I followed. Darkness was fast approaching, the wind was picking up, and I had been forced to abandon my supplies late yesterday afternoon. It seemed as if nature itself was conspiring against me.

Even though death seemed a certainty, I knew I would press onwards. I would make the arrest, or I would die. ‘Determined, tenacious, a true Fraser’, my father would say. ‘You’d cut off your nose to spite your face,’ would be my grandmother’s opinion. Pride, tenacity, stupidity – whatever it was that drove me, I knew that I would not quit, not as long as I had breath in my body.

Suddenly, there she was. Curled into a tight ball, huddling from the whipping wind in the lea of a cliff, she looked more like a beaten animal than a hardened criminal. Still, I approached her slowly, cautiously.

Somehow, she must have heard me. She lifted her head, flinging a heavy curtain of hair off her face. She turned to face me, and as her dark eyes met mine, I felt my heart stutter in my chest, my breath caught, and then. . .

Everything changed.



200 words

Comments

[duesouthficrecs.livejournal.com]

Wow.

[doll-revolution.livejournal.com]

well.

thank you kindly. ^__^

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Those last two words actually made me shiver.

[doll-revolution.livejournal.com]

that's just 'cause we know what's going to happen. :::shivering as well:::

[doll-revolution.livejournal.com]

thanks!

you know, for fraser, i bet it was akin to getting hit in the hed with a giant metal club. he never saw it coming.

[murielperun.livejournal.com]

Nice use of the hair/curtain lifting and totally changing his life. It's such a pivotal moment in Fraser's life, it's strange hardly anyone ever writes about it.

Nice job!

[doll-revolution.livejournal.com]

i think part of the reason is that while it's completely obvious what happened/happens with fraser, i have no idea of what was going on with victoria?

was it all a head game? did she love him just a little? a lot, and she turned while in jail? was it vengence for the jail or for the spurning or both or none? what what what????

arrgh.

[akite.livejournal.com]

I share your frustration there, doll because I can't even get my head around what's going on in hers. Nice story, btw.

[doll-revolution.livejournal.com]

mostly, i think the writers put victoria in to give us a reason why fraser was so reticent around women, never realizing how crazy it would make us, not knowing what her motivations were.

[murielperun.livejournal.com]

It's hard to know about her. She was certainly bitter about being sent to jail for 10 years, but I've often wondered if she was really much different before. Did she ever care about him? Did she trust him and expect him to let her go? If she cared about him, imagine how she felt when he handed her over to the authorities. No wonder she wanted to ruin his life. She wanted him to feel as betrayed as she felt.

[cesperanza.livejournal.com]

‘Determined, tenacious, a true Fraser’, my father would say. ‘You’d cut off your nose to spite your face,’

Oooh, what I love about this? is that grandma is so, so right.

[doll-revolution.livejournal.com]

oh, yeah.

fraser's got the grudge-keeping thing down to an art.

[rowanfairchild.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow. I really liked this -- and you even actually get a sense of his youth here. And the sense of dread. Nicely done!
-R