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Author: Salieri a.k.a.
troyswann
Title: Odd-Numbered Nights
Pairing: Fraser/RayV (sort of)
Episode: The Deal
Length: 1000w
Warnings: language, a little bit
Disclaimer: not mine not mine not mine
Ray wakes up with his feet on the floor and the hair standing up on the back of his neck. Before he even realizes this much, he's already doing the calculations: how long to get the key in the lock of the bedside table, the magazine out of the drawer and into the gun; how long to turn in the bed and blow away whichever of his guys Zuko sent to do his wet work. Five seconds? Ten? Less than that; he's been rehearsing it in his head since he buttoned up his silk pajamas and laid down in the bed; he's been dreaming it in slow motion.
The clock on the beside table says 1:03.
A door closes across the landing. He pretends that it's this that woke him up and not the dream, the one where he's too slow.
Grinding his teeth, he clasps his hands behind his bowed head and breathes through his nose, out, in, out. Then he stands up with his back to the door and lets the ants seethe up and down his spine. He'll get used to it eventually. Instead of looking over his shoulder, he takes three deliberate steps to the window.
Before he recognizes the shape standing under the streetlamp on the far sidewalk, his body's already in self-preservation mode, and he's ducked out of sight beside the window. Eventually his muscles unlock enough to let in the thought that Frankie's guys don't wear Stetsons.
He closes his eyes and shakes his head, a gesture between fury and resigned disbelief that he's made so often lately that it's becoming some kind of signature move.
Fraser waits for him on the sidewalk like he's standing on the steps of the consulate, except his eyes move to follow Ray as he shuffles over from the house and paces back in forth in front of him, his arms wrapped around himself to keep his coat closed. Ray could button the coat but that's too much like giving in. He's left his slippers on, too, because he's not--not--really standing out in the street at one in the morning talking to a bashed-up Mountie who isn't smart enough to stay home and heal.
"So, Benny," Ray says finally, casually, like there's nothing weird about anything. "You wanna tell me what you're doing standing outside my house in the middle of the night?"
"I was in the neighbourhood."
Ray stops pacing and looks at Fraser's face. His expression is perfectly open and utterly closed. Ray tilts his head a little and leans closer like he can get in under the brim of the hat. Fraser's expression doesn't change. It's like looking through a clean, clear window into a dark room.
"Right. You were in the neighbourhood. And, I ask you, why were you in the neighbourhood?"
A brief angling of the head and a wince as Fraser's gaze darts away, off down the street, like he's stick-handling the conversation away from the net. When he meets Ray's eyes again, though, it's all Mountie decorum and finality. "I'd rather not say."
Ray nods slowly, lips pursed, and frowns down the street, too. "You know, Benny, Frankie's a young guy. He could live to be ninety. You gonna spend the next 55 years guarding my house?"
Fraser breaks the post-card-Mountie-on-guard-for-thee pose and tugs at his ear. A smile creases his cheek before he remembers the fat lip and smooths his expression out again, so that when he speaks the grim amusement is all in the voice. "Well, no, Ray. I thought that on odd-numbered nights you could stand outside my place."
Ray's laugh is silent but it hangs in the air as a cloud of breath between them. Even before it's dissipated, the rage is ready to boil out of his chest and up his throat. Frank fucking Zuko. He starts pacing again, faster, back and forth while Fraser's eyes follow him. Fucking Frank fucking Zuko.
Abruptly, Ray stops and turns to face Fraser. "Benny, go home."
"Ray--"
"Benny." Ray reaches out and puts a hand on Fraser's chest where his jacket hangs open. He slides the hand down until he sees Fraser's eyes narrow in anticipation of contact between Ray's fingers and the bruises. You're a mess, is what this is saying. Go the fuck home and lie down is what Ray means. And he wants to apply pressure enough to get Fraser's posture to break, capitulate to pain, but he can't keep the gentleness out of his hands, and he's already got them both there, inside Fraser's jacket, against Fraser's body, gentle, tentative, like he's asking for something, and that's not what he meant at all, but there they are, his hands, attached to his arms, so it must be him.
Fraser's mouth opens and his eyes meet Ray's steadily but a little wide with something Ray would call panic if he didn't think that was impossible, and for a second there Ray can see inside to an answer to whatever question Ray is asking. Maybe the answer is yes, except that Fraser's gaze flicks away again, up toward the house, and the light goes out inside that room so that Ray can't see inside no matter how hard he tries. He feels his fingers closing into fists wrapped in the soft, worn cloth of Fraser's jersey.
Although he swore he wouldn't ever look over his shoulder again, he does, following Fraser's gaze back and up to his window where Francesca's looking down at them, one hand pressed against the glass.
"I should go," Fraser says huskily. He has to unwind his shirt from one of Ray's hands, but by the time he moves on to the other, Ray's fingers loosen on their own and he lets go.
"Good idea," Ray agrees, still watching Frannie there in his window. When he looks away from the house, Fraser's turned the corner and is gone.
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Title: Odd-Numbered Nights
Pairing: Fraser/RayV (sort of)
Episode: The Deal
Length: 1000w
Warnings: language, a little bit
Disclaimer: not mine not mine not mine
Ray wakes up with his feet on the floor and the hair standing up on the back of his neck. Before he even realizes this much, he's already doing the calculations: how long to get the key in the lock of the bedside table, the magazine out of the drawer and into the gun; how long to turn in the bed and blow away whichever of his guys Zuko sent to do his wet work. Five seconds? Ten? Less than that; he's been rehearsing it in his head since he buttoned up his silk pajamas and laid down in the bed; he's been dreaming it in slow motion.
The clock on the beside table says 1:03.
A door closes across the landing. He pretends that it's this that woke him up and not the dream, the one where he's too slow.
Grinding his teeth, he clasps his hands behind his bowed head and breathes through his nose, out, in, out. Then he stands up with his back to the door and lets the ants seethe up and down his spine. He'll get used to it eventually. Instead of looking over his shoulder, he takes three deliberate steps to the window.
Before he recognizes the shape standing under the streetlamp on the far sidewalk, his body's already in self-preservation mode, and he's ducked out of sight beside the window. Eventually his muscles unlock enough to let in the thought that Frankie's guys don't wear Stetsons.
He closes his eyes and shakes his head, a gesture between fury and resigned disbelief that he's made so often lately that it's becoming some kind of signature move.
Fraser waits for him on the sidewalk like he's standing on the steps of the consulate, except his eyes move to follow Ray as he shuffles over from the house and paces back in forth in front of him, his arms wrapped around himself to keep his coat closed. Ray could button the coat but that's too much like giving in. He's left his slippers on, too, because he's not--not--really standing out in the street at one in the morning talking to a bashed-up Mountie who isn't smart enough to stay home and heal.
"So, Benny," Ray says finally, casually, like there's nothing weird about anything. "You wanna tell me what you're doing standing outside my house in the middle of the night?"
"I was in the neighbourhood."
Ray stops pacing and looks at Fraser's face. His expression is perfectly open and utterly closed. Ray tilts his head a little and leans closer like he can get in under the brim of the hat. Fraser's expression doesn't change. It's like looking through a clean, clear window into a dark room.
"Right. You were in the neighbourhood. And, I ask you, why were you in the neighbourhood?"
A brief angling of the head and a wince as Fraser's gaze darts away, off down the street, like he's stick-handling the conversation away from the net. When he meets Ray's eyes again, though, it's all Mountie decorum and finality. "I'd rather not say."
Ray nods slowly, lips pursed, and frowns down the street, too. "You know, Benny, Frankie's a young guy. He could live to be ninety. You gonna spend the next 55 years guarding my house?"
Fraser breaks the post-card-Mountie-on-guard-for-thee pose and tugs at his ear. A smile creases his cheek before he remembers the fat lip and smooths his expression out again, so that when he speaks the grim amusement is all in the voice. "Well, no, Ray. I thought that on odd-numbered nights you could stand outside my place."
Ray's laugh is silent but it hangs in the air as a cloud of breath between them. Even before it's dissipated, the rage is ready to boil out of his chest and up his throat. Frank fucking Zuko. He starts pacing again, faster, back and forth while Fraser's eyes follow him. Fucking Frank fucking Zuko.
Abruptly, Ray stops and turns to face Fraser. "Benny, go home."
"Ray--"
"Benny." Ray reaches out and puts a hand on Fraser's chest where his jacket hangs open. He slides the hand down until he sees Fraser's eyes narrow in anticipation of contact between Ray's fingers and the bruises. You're a mess, is what this is saying. Go the fuck home and lie down is what Ray means. And he wants to apply pressure enough to get Fraser's posture to break, capitulate to pain, but he can't keep the gentleness out of his hands, and he's already got them both there, inside Fraser's jacket, against Fraser's body, gentle, tentative, like he's asking for something, and that's not what he meant at all, but there they are, his hands, attached to his arms, so it must be him.
Fraser's mouth opens and his eyes meet Ray's steadily but a little wide with something Ray would call panic if he didn't think that was impossible, and for a second there Ray can see inside to an answer to whatever question Ray is asking. Maybe the answer is yes, except that Fraser's gaze flicks away again, up toward the house, and the light goes out inside that room so that Ray can't see inside no matter how hard he tries. He feels his fingers closing into fists wrapped in the soft, worn cloth of Fraser's jersey.
Although he swore he wouldn't ever look over his shoulder again, he does, following Fraser's gaze back and up to his window where Francesca's looking down at them, one hand pressed against the glass.
"I should go," Fraser says huskily. He has to unwind his shirt from one of Ray's hands, but by the time he moves on to the other, Ray's fingers loosen on their own and he lets go.
"Good idea," Ray agrees, still watching Frannie there in his window. When he looks away from the house, Fraser's turned the corner and is gone.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 02:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 02:28 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 02:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 02:55 am (UTC)And Ray's hands moving so gently over Fraser's body is a beautiful image that's going to stick with me for a while. I love how the sequence shifts from Ray trying to push Fraser away to drawing him close. His hope that this won't hurt either of them too much is delicate and beautifully fragile. As a result I'm not sure what to make of Frannie watching from the window - they seem to break off so as not to hurt her, and in an odd way I find it both noble and sad. Just like that note of amusement in Fraser's voice that he can't allow to show on his face as he suggests the odd-numbered nightwatch of the title.
I do love how you handle Vecchio, in this and your other stories. All of his small fears and worries and disapointments seem to add up to a fine-tuned portrait of a man bravely holding himself together with both hands. But it's your Fraser I really admire; you see him so beautifully and so clearly even though you've always written him from someone else's point of view. All of the small movements and gestures you focus on here - the gentleness of Vecchio's hands, his rehearsal of loading the gun, Fraser's fat lip and bruised torso - make up a beautiful whole. And this was an astonishing piece of fiction, one among many pieces of yours that I absolutely adore.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 09:50 pm (UTC)Hmm. One answer is what
I debated talking about that here, though, because I think that this detail has weird implications that disrupt what I think are really good readings of the scene. For instance, I think your reading is a really nice one, in that Ray and Fraser do break off because of her, and there's a kind of poignant nobility in that. With this detail (which isn't essential to the story in a way, although it produces a slightly different reading of it) thrown into the mix Fraser is put in a really tricky, untenable situation in terms of what his presence means: if he's there because he came to drop off Frannie, it seems to undercut the fact that he's there for Ray; if he's there for Ray, then the fact that he brought Frannie home makes Frannie seem merely instrumental, an excuse to be close to Ray. Fraser would hate that cruel logic and it's not what he's about at all. So for me, if not for the reader, that's where the tension is for Fraser, that no-win of his situatedness out there on the street between Frannie and Ray.
So, Frannie, for me (although my take is no more valid than anybody else's) is a figure for "the world" in a way, the contradictions and circumstances that Fraser has to negotiate if his answer to Ray's unvoiced question is "yes."
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment. I'm beyond thrilled to know that you find the representation of Fraser to be effective because, for me, writing him really is like looking through an window into a dark room; there's a weird opacity to him that his honesty just makes seem that much more opaque. gah. See? A soon as I start talking about his insides I get tangled up in paradoxes. :)
Thank you again, and for the rec, too!
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 02:55 am (UTC)Also:
A brief angling of the head and a wince as Fraser's gaze darts away, off down the street, like he's stick-handling the conversation away from the net.
Hockey metaphor! Whee!
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 09:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 03:06 am (UTC)Such a splendid Vecchio voice there. Lovely and sad all 'round.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 09:56 pm (UTC)And your icon is terrific. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 03:59 am (UTC)(Sorry, that's all I'm good for tonight, but wanted to say something.)
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 09:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 04:07 am (UTC)I can so imagine Fraser dealing with his fear by going to protect someone else.
"You know, Benny, Frankie's a young guy. He could live to be ninety. You gonna spend the next 55 years guarding my house?"
Wonderful voice there.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 02:56 am (UTC)Cool. That's a neat way of putting it.
Thank you!
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 04:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 02:56 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 10:45 am (UTC)and the way you describe ray's vigilance, such a stong physical layer there. that coupled with the reality of ray's hands touching and clenching is just frelling perfect.
also, benton's answer about guarding on odd-numbered nights is delightfully him and redolent with the depth of the situation.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 02:58 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 12:17 pm (UTC)Then he stands up with his back to the door and lets the ants seethe up and down his spine.
*gets ants*
no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 02:59 am (UTC)Thank you! I'm very glad the creepiness comes out in that. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 01:40 pm (UTC)Since this is only hours after Frannie has thrown herself at Fraser, I wonder if she is delusional enough to think that Fraser has come back for her and Ray is protecting her honor. I hope not.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 03:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 02:57 pm (UTC)I love the complexity of this, the tensions -- between partnership and protector, between Fraser and Ray, and Ray and Frannie, between danger and fear and frustration. It feels like a wonderful microcosm of something huge -- TARDIS story! ♥
no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 03:02 am (UTC)Eee! Best compliment ever!
(see? I love these guys way too much to go away. Even for Captain Jack Harkness. *g*)
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 05:24 pm (UTC)Fraser's mouth opens and his eyes meet Ray's steadily but a little wide with something Ray would call panic if he didn't think that was impossible, and for a second there Ray can see inside to an answer to whatever question Ray is asking. Maybe the answer is yes, except that Fraser's gaze flicks away again, up toward the house
Poor Fraser, he really doesn't have a good night.*hugs him carefully*
no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 09:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 08:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 03:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-21 11:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 03:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 04:11 am (UTC)"You know, Benny, Frankie's a young guy. He could live to be ninety. You gonna spend the next 55 years guarding my house?"
Fraser breaks the post-card-Mountie-on-guard-for-thee pose and tugs at his ear. A smile creases his cheek before he remembers the fat lip and smooths his expression out again, so that when he speaks the grim amusement is all in the voice. "Well, no, Ray. I thought that on odd-numbered nights you could stand outside my place."
That's pretty much my entire ship manifesto for them, right there, because that's how they are, loyal and wry and loving and so damn protective of each other, and in everything together, for better and worse.
I adored this. Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 09:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2007-03-22 11:12 pm (UTC)Lovely fic.
no subject
Date: 2007-03-23 03:09 am (UTC)I'm glad you enjoyed it.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-28 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-29 01:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-29 07:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-31 06:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-07-09 12:04 am (UTC)Yes, yes, yes! That's what I was trying to get at about Fraser, and couldn't put my finger on. Don't know why I bother to try and think for myself when you say it all so much better.
no subject
Date: 2007-07-09 06:32 pm (UTC)Is "The Deal" not most excellent? Do you not love RayV? Do you not love Fraser? Are they not awesome?
yay! And you should think for yourself and then make the thinkiness into fic for me, 'kay? Kay!
no subject
Date: 2008-12-21 06:17 pm (UTC)Everything is perfect about this fic. EVERYTHING.
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Date: 2008-12-26 05:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-15 12:44 am (UTC)And poor Frannie, she never did get her man.
no subject
Date: 2011-03-11 10:58 pm (UTC)I'm glad you liked this.
no subject
Date: 2011-12-05 03:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-12-05 11:18 pm (UTC)Thanks for the comment!