first line challenge by omphale
May. 21st, 2007 08:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
omphale posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionTitle: Under the Skin
Author: [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]
Word count: approx. 650
Pairing: F/K preslash
Notes: First line from [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]'s awesome fic Three Sweet Words. With thanks to [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] for giving me a prompt, which I really needed, and a couple of great lines, which I stole outright.
There is very little plot or socially redeeming value to the following. However, there are nipples.
"Shit, Ben, you—" Ray stepped closer. Fraser lifted his chin a little, but he didn’t move away. “You did what? Where?”
“I believe it’s a fairly simple procedure. Surely you’ve encountered the results at some point in your career.” Fraser went straight into lecture mode, which meant that Ray wasn’t the only one having some trouble with this conversation.
This completely surreal, bizarre, insane conversation that Ray sort of wished he hadn’t started by asking Fraser what the hell he had under his shirt that he kept rubbing. He didn’t need to know these things. His life was hard enough without thinking about—this.
Ray took another step. Fraser was still explaining, talking about spiritual journeys and a physical record of life’s events, of the permanence of close relationships, but Ray’s brain wasn’t processing.
He wasn’t sure he’d even realized that that Fraser *had* nipples.
Okay, yes, he knew theoretically that Fraser had nipples. He’d even seen them, so this shouldn’t be a surprise. Fraser had nipples, and he was completely entitled to do whatever he wanted to them. They were his nipples, after all.
Ray didn’t want to think about nipples. He didn’t. But it was too late now, because not only was he thinking about nipples, but he was thinking about all the things that Fraser could do with them. With Fraser’s nipples, which Ray was now thinking about whether he wanted to or not.
Fraser could do whatever he wanted with his—things that Ray wasn’t thinking about.
He could even pierce them. If he really wanted to. If that was the sort of thing he thought was a good idea, although Ray had once pierced his lip with a safety pin and from what he remembered it had hurt a hell of a lot and not really been a great plan in the end.
Fraser’s nipples—and it was beyond strange that all of a sudden Ray felt the need to put ‘Fraser’s nipples’ and his own lips in the same sentence, and he was *really* not going any farther with that thought—they were probably a lot more painful than Ray’s lip. And there was all that serge to rub against them, so even afterward he was pretty sure Fraser wouldn’t be able to just forget the damn thing was there.
What Ray couldn’t quite seem to figure out was why he would want that. The rubbing and the piercing and everything. “Why?”
Fraser’s mouth snapped shut. He raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“That’s my line." Ray waved in the general direction of the—of Fraser’s—of them. “Why this?”
“Ah.” Fraser stopped. Ray waited, but he was *dying* here, and Fraser was just standing there, not explaining the important part.
Ray started asking questions, babbling almost, and it wasn’t until he found himself halfway through the story about how he and Mikey from two streets over had put ice on their faces first to make them numb and then found out that the ice wasn’t really as important as making sure the pin was sharp that he figured out why Fraser wasn’t talking much.
Ray snatched his hand away from where it had been stroking over Fraser’s chest, skimming lightly across the fabric of his shirt. The small bar under his fingers was barely even there, not something you’d notice unless you knew to look. Ray had only seen it because he spent a lot of time looking at Fraser. Not that Fraser ever looked back. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to, um, you know—”
Fraser stared at him. Finally, just before Ray really freaked out, Fraser reached out, took Ray’s hand in his own, and pulled them both up to rest on his chest.
Oh. *Oh.* Well, Ray could work with that.
Author: [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]
Word count: approx. 650
Pairing: F/K preslash
Notes: First line from [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com]'s awesome fic Three Sweet Words. With thanks to [Bad username or site: @ livejournal.com] for giving me a prompt, which I really needed, and a couple of great lines, which I stole outright.
There is very little plot or socially redeeming value to the following. However, there are nipples.
"Shit, Ben, you—" Ray stepped closer. Fraser lifted his chin a little, but he didn’t move away. “You did what? Where?”
“I believe it’s a fairly simple procedure. Surely you’ve encountered the results at some point in your career.” Fraser went straight into lecture mode, which meant that Ray wasn’t the only one having some trouble with this conversation.
This completely surreal, bizarre, insane conversation that Ray sort of wished he hadn’t started by asking Fraser what the hell he had under his shirt that he kept rubbing. He didn’t need to know these things. His life was hard enough without thinking about—this.
Ray took another step. Fraser was still explaining, talking about spiritual journeys and a physical record of life’s events, of the permanence of close relationships, but Ray’s brain wasn’t processing.
He wasn’t sure he’d even realized that that Fraser *had* nipples.
Okay, yes, he knew theoretically that Fraser had nipples. He’d even seen them, so this shouldn’t be a surprise. Fraser had nipples, and he was completely entitled to do whatever he wanted to them. They were his nipples, after all.
Ray didn’t want to think about nipples. He didn’t. But it was too late now, because not only was he thinking about nipples, but he was thinking about all the things that Fraser could do with them. With Fraser’s nipples, which Ray was now thinking about whether he wanted to or not.
Fraser could do whatever he wanted with his—things that Ray wasn’t thinking about.
He could even pierce them. If he really wanted to. If that was the sort of thing he thought was a good idea, although Ray had once pierced his lip with a safety pin and from what he remembered it had hurt a hell of a lot and not really been a great plan in the end.
Fraser’s nipples—and it was beyond strange that all of a sudden Ray felt the need to put ‘Fraser’s nipples’ and his own lips in the same sentence, and he was *really* not going any farther with that thought—they were probably a lot more painful than Ray’s lip. And there was all that serge to rub against them, so even afterward he was pretty sure Fraser wouldn’t be able to just forget the damn thing was there.
What Ray couldn’t quite seem to figure out was why he would want that. The rubbing and the piercing and everything. “Why?”
Fraser’s mouth snapped shut. He raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“That’s my line." Ray waved in the general direction of the—of Fraser’s—of them. “Why this?”
“Ah.” Fraser stopped. Ray waited, but he was *dying* here, and Fraser was just standing there, not explaining the important part.
Ray started asking questions, babbling almost, and it wasn’t until he found himself halfway through the story about how he and Mikey from two streets over had put ice on their faces first to make them numb and then found out that the ice wasn’t really as important as making sure the pin was sharp that he figured out why Fraser wasn’t talking much.
Ray snatched his hand away from where it had been stroking over Fraser’s chest, skimming lightly across the fabric of his shirt. The small bar under his fingers was barely even there, not something you’d notice unless you knew to look. Ray had only seen it because he spent a lot of time looking at Fraser. Not that Fraser ever looked back. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to, um, you know—”
Fraser stared at him. Finally, just before Ray really freaked out, Fraser reached out, took Ray’s hand in his own, and pulled them both up to rest on his chest.
Oh. *Oh.* Well, Ray could work with that.
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-22 02:12 am (UTC)Ever since I read Shay's Doppleganger (http://www.chezshay.net/stories/Doppelganger.html) I have been dreaming of more F/K nipple-piercing stories. DREAMING! And here it is! On a silver platter! So much better than I would have imagined!!
Ray waved in the general direction of the—of Fraser’s—of them.
Hilarious. I heart this line way more than is probably healthy. I also heart (and am a little skeeved by) the whole lip piercing anecdote. Ray getting the meaning of Fraser's babble, with spiritual journeys and a physical record of life’s events, of the permanence of close relationships, aw!
And the inadvertent stroking of Fraser's chest! I'm--I--I can't--
I gotta go lie down now.
no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 07:13 pm (UTC)Oops? I'm pretty but dumb?
Anyway, SO glad you liked it--I thought it was possibly much to cracked-out to be hot, even, so it's awesome that the whole thing worked.
And I love the idea of Ray touching Fraser without thinking of it a lot. Enough that I'm trying to figure out how to use the idea again.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-23 09:09 pm (UTC)Fraser could do whatever he wanted with his—things that Ray wasn’t thinking about.
Oh, Ray! Hahahahahahaha!
Loved this. Oh, oh, Ray. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 07:14 pm (UTC)Right, so. A few months late, but Thanks! and Glad you liked it!
And Ray. Oh, Ray. So many issues, so little time...
no subject
Date: 2007-05-23 09:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 07:15 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-24 01:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 07:16 pm (UTC)(Also, I fail at prompt responding to comments. Apparently. Sorry about that.)
no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 08:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-17 03:36 pm (UTC)Still, glad you liked it! Twice, even.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-24 02:19 am (UTC)I'm sorry, my brain shut down at that thought, I have nothing else to add. :)
no subject
Date: 2007-05-24 10:50 pm (UTC)What she said.
Also: GUH!
no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 07:18 pm (UTC)I lose at being a fangrrl.
(That said, glad it was hot. I was worried that the crazy outweighed the image of the two of them, NOT talking about Fraser's piercing.)
no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 07:16 pm (UTC)Crazy, but hot, right?
no subject
Date: 2007-05-24 06:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 07:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 11:28 pm (UTC)*flails a little more over Ray unconsciously stroking Fraser's chest. &hearts
no subject
Date: 2007-08-17 03:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-27 07:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-08-15 07:20 pm (UTC)(And I apologize for the delay in responding to comments for this one. I don't know what happened, but for whatever reason I totally flaked. *rolls eyes at self*)
no subject
Date: 2007-10-11 10:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-11-29 10:47 am (UTC)this, ummmm, really made me happy on so many levels. i have a little pierced-nipple "thing," but actually the best part was the subtle way that ray kind of loses the plot and then realizes he's stroking fraser! oh, i can just SEE that. very, very nice, o!