Five Challenge – by joandarck

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Fraser/RayK, (RayV/Stella)
Length: 485 words
Rating: PG




Five Times Fraser Compared Ray and Ray



pivotal

"Well, that's the troubling thing. I agree that Ray Vecchio was a fine figure of a man. But it seems I can't be around this new Ray for more than five minutes without developing this very strong, well-nigh uncontrollable desire to bend him over a desk."

Dief sniffed as they walked along.

"Oh, because your remarks about mating are never crude."



late

"It's all right, you big... Yes, I'm still your friend. I want to be your best friend still, Benny, can you tell me that?"

Ray coughed on the phone. The bullet was out, and the internal wounds were healing.

"I... I think I can. Yes."

Ray's voice was quiet on the line, scratched like an old record. "Because he's something more. Right?"

Fraser wanted to lie, but didn't have the practice. Maybe he half-managed it. "He's something... different."

"And that's why I'm telling you to stay up there."



early

The evidence, laid out on the desk under a disguising file folder, was clear. This was almost incontrovertibly not the real Ray Vecchio. However, he suspected the Lieutenant would still prove recalcitrant on the issue. He had measured every conceivable body part, every aspect of Ray that he'd had the opportunity to observe – oh. Well, not quite.

Benton Fraser pulled his hat straight, took a deep breath, and followed his quarry into the men's room.

Calipers were no good here. He'd have to estimate.



before anything

"Someday, my simple-minded Canadian friend, you're going to meet somebody even more irritated by you than me, and then, then you are going to understand just how patient and forbearing I am being right now."

"If you say so, Ray."

Privately, he didn't believe it was possible.



ultimately

The Vecchios had retired for the night. Ray looked well; Florida suited him. He'd tanned, and gained a little weight. The bitterness, the constant struggle, were submerged, blended out into a kind of wry humour. And Stella seemed happy: warm and smiling. He could understand why his own Ray had been so devoted to her.

The couple had a tenderness together that he would never have expected, but he believed it entirely.

"Now you're being ridiculous."

"Just say it." Ray nibbled and ran his lips over the area behind Fraser's ear. "Say it, say it, say it..."

Fraser was up to his elbows in dishwashing suds.

"You've both aged very well," he said patiently, hearing his voice change whether he willed or no. Even now, Ray could do this to him.

"But."

Ray dug his chin into Fraser's shoulder and started letting his hands wander, somewhere between an enticement and a warning.

"But, say it, Fraser..."

He looked at their reflection in the window and wondered, to the bottom of his soul, how he'd ended up in this unexpected, eccentric, beautiful life.

"But you've kept much more of your hair."

"Thank you. Was that so hard?" Ray was pleased.

The wash water began cooling, forgotten.

 

Comments

[lorem_ipsum]

He had measured every conceivable body part, every aspect of Ray that he'd had the opportunity to observe – oh. Well, not quite.
Benton Fraser pulled his hat straight, took a deep breath, and followed his quarry into the men's room.
Calipers were no good here. He'd have to estimate.

*wheezes* *deep breath*

*dies*

Oh, Fraser. I admire your dedication to, um, truth. And duty. Yes.

(...Oh, are we to infer that he previously checked out RayV?)

"But you've kept much more of your hair."
"Thank you. Was that so hard?"

hee! to RayK's competitive vanity.

Also, I love the section headers! Helps the story chug along with minimal exposition and without confusing the reader.

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Oh, Fraser. I admire your dedication to, um, truth. And duty. Yes.

Good thing he had his hat to hang onto! Now I'm picturing the full scenario with Burning Down the House Ray, sort of brash and friendly and a little confused and nervy-suspicious all at once, and it's cracking me up.

(...Oh, are we to infer that he previously checked out RayV?)

Um... not *deliberately*, necessarily! Not in a *prurient* way! But he's had opportunity to observe, and he's an observant person, and... um...

*changes subject* Section headers! can I get your opinion on that? I'm a little bothered that they're not consistent. I feel like the first four or the last four form a set, but "pivotal" and "ultimately" don't go together. But I don't have another word I want to replace pivotal with (I think "basic" was the first version of that, but I changed it for some reason, and it has the same problem.) Did that trip you up, or was it fine?

Am all pleased and stuff.

[jadelennox]

And once a gain, I fall down from the laughing.

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Hee, thank you!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_unhurt_/]

late = ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

(oh, and i love your headings very much)

*clings to fic and purrs happily*

[http://users.livejournal.com/_unhurt_/]

(AND i feel for purposes of Full Disclosure, i should say i posted the above before seeing your reply to lipsum up above)

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

*pets your head*

If you saw lipsum's comment, then you saw my question to her - what do you think? Re: inconsistent headings. Did that trip you up at all?

[j-s-cavalcante.livejournal.com]

Delightful all around, but this bit had me on the FLOOR:

Benton Fraser pulled his hat straight, took a deep breath, and followed his quarry into the men's room.

Calipers were no good here. He'd have to estimate.

Bwah! No words. Hee hee hee...

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

I... um... Ray-Ray dick-measuring contest, brokered by Fraser? It was symbolically... um...

I really can't justify that one.

[c-regalis.livejournal.com]

"Someday, my simple-minded Canadian friend, you're going to meet somebody even more irritated by you than me, and then, then you are going to understand just how patient and forbearing I am being right now."

Hee! HEE! Well, no way he could have foreseen THAT, right? Right.

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Yes, it would be a little hard to imagine! Especially given that Benton was such a nice, polite young man. And that the other guy would be super-hot, too? Highly unlikely.

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

I like these 5 times! Pivotal and early crack me up. I love Vecchio's friendship in late and ultimately. Before anything made me grin. And Kowalski is wonderfully annoying.

I, too, like the headers. They didn't trip me up at all - I didn't notice that 'pivotal' isn't quite a matched set with 'ultimately' until you pointed up the difference in the comment to lipsum. It parallels in feeling?

I'm in reading-and-commenting-sporadically mode, but then I thought, 'Did I only comment on one of joandarck's stories? Will that seem weird?' so I decided I better come back to this one before I let any more time lapse. /unnecessary explanation

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Oh, they didn't bother you? Great!

I'm in reading-and-commenting-sporadically mode, but then I thought, 'Did I only comment on one of joandarck's stories? Will that seem weird?' s

OMG, don't worry about that kind of thing! Everybody reads and comments depending a big range of factors. I don't keep track and blame people for not commenting! That would be a quick way to make yourself crazy.

[iadorespike]

Dief sniffed! Calipers! Hair!! OMG...I'm still laughing. Thanks so much...hee!

Anna :D

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Aw, yay! Thank you!

[vsee.livejournal.com]

This is really, really enjoyable. I wil be coming back to this one often!

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

I'm touched! Thank you!

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

Yay for this!

"Oh, because your remarks about mating are never crude."

!!! I *love* it when he snarks at Dief.



This was fucking brilliant. I ate it with a spoon.

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

I *love* it when he snarks at Dief.

Yes, me too! They have such a funny relationship.

And I think Fraser underestimates the power of a good caliper.

Eek! You! bad! hee

Thank you!

[eledhwenlin]

The last one killed me. ♥

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Aww, thank you!

[idreamedmusic.livejournal.com]

I just read this as someone was searching for it and eeeeee, soo good!
Cannot pick a favorite as they're all brilliant. Short, to the point, funny, and poignant.

Thank you!

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Oh, how nice to hear! Thanks so much for letting me know. Yeah, I was trying for a minimum of words there, except for letting it sploosh out a bit in the end section there when I got all caught up in a golden haze of shipping. Heh.

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Aw, I'm so glad you like it! And indeed, if Fraser likes men at all (which -- I'm inclined to say he does,) why shouldn't he like both of them? In a fandom scarred by the Ray Wars etc. I was a little leery of putting out a story where Fraser compares them, so I'm glad the general impression is fond and loving.

(I started as a diehard F/K shipper, but at the time I wrote this I was already quite into F/V, and bits of it were sneaking into even my F/K fic -- as you noticed. *g*)

[azamiko.livejournal.com]

*grin*

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Hee!