Five Things Challenge by ifreet

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Title: Five Things Benton Fraser Lost in the Apartment Fire
Author: ifreet
Pairing/Rating: Gen all around
Length: ~250 words


1. The Rights of Man by Thomas Paine. His grandmother had given him a new copy when he left for Depot, saying only, "Don't 'lose' this one." On the flyleaf, her maiden name was written in large, looping letters that he couldn't quite reconcile with the meticulous writing of the woman who'd raised him.

2. The last photograph of his mother. Nothing as fragile as a family album had survived the fire at his father's cabin. This photograph had worn edges, and one corner was badly creased. It had been the only photograph among his father's personal effects, turned over to him after the inquiry and before Chicago.

3. A complete set of Mark Smithbauer trading cards. It was possibly the only complete set. He hadn't seen or spoken to Mark since the day he'd presented him with his duplicates, and he'd known Mark would be in financial straits after the confession. He hoped he'd kept all the cards for the sentiment they'd represented, but he couldn't be sure.

4. One white candle stub. The rest had been cleaned away before he'd been allowed to return to his apartment, after. He wasn't keeping it exactly. He just failed to throw it out.

5. A piece of paper reading, "Please shoot OTHER leg." He'd told Ray it wasn't funny at the time, but when he'd found it crumpled in his pocket later, he couldn't help but smile. Maybe Ray would help him find the humor in this situation, too.

Comments

[laylee.livejournal.com]

Awww, woobie Fraser!

*pets him*

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

*nods seriously* He needs lots of petting. *joins in*

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Aw, I really liked this!

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[spuffyduds.livejournal.com]

Oh, I especially love the last one! Very evocative of their sweet, funny relationship--and sad, since we know the Ray he's expecting won't be helping with this one.

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

I'm really glad the last one hit the mark. Thank you!

[jadelennox]

Oh, *Fraser*.

Nice evocation of sadness by a brief statement of fact. Particularly the candle stub.

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[mergatrude.livejournal.com]

Lovely!

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[j-s-cavalcante.livejournal.com]

Awww...great choices. I love that last one, especially. :)

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[hieronymousmosh.livejournal.com]

Eep. You packed so much into those 250 words! Great job, I really liked this :)

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :)

[keerawa.livejournal.com]

God - every single one of the items he lost itself evokes a loss. Only ... Fraser doesn't even know about the last one yet. Poor guy.

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Poor guy indeed. Thank you!

[malnpudl.livejournal.com]

Oh, man. You've made this lovely ache in my heart. Oh, Fraser. *wibble*

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Aw, thank you!

[lamentables.livejournal.com]

I love writing that does so much in so few words.
*admires you*
*handcrafts a meaningful gift for Fraser*

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

*blushes*

I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

[china_shop]

Oh, this is wonderful! The last one makes me so sad, though! *pets Fraser*

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[eledhwenlin]

Awwwww, Fraser.

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

It's been a bad day for him.

[vsee.livejournal.com]

Oh goodness, great choices, big impact with a few words. Neat story. *shivers*

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[viciouscats.livejournal.com]

Oh, Fraser. *hugs him*

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Fraser needs hugs. There should be a campaign. (Thanks!)

[nos4a2no9.livejournal.com]

keerawa said this much better than me, but the loss-that-echoes-a-loss structure you chose was amazing. Particularly the bit with the candle stub, and that hauting little dangling modifier "after." You put more emotional weight into a single word than I've managed to include in whole stories. You are very, very brilliant.

And because I can't be the only one not to say it:

Awwww, Fraser!

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Wow, I'm more than a bit overwhelmed! Thank you!

[brigantine.livejournal.com]

Aw, man, the last photograph of him mom! I'd forgotten about that.

And then Ray/not Ray. You've put Fraser right at a crisis point where it's awfully important that the impending Wrong Ray be, if not the Ray Fraser's expecting, then an exceptional friend, 'cause Fraser's going to need him to be.

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

The gift of the framed photo in Good for the Soul was such a huge deal to Fraser, so the loss of whatever family photos he'd had previously must have been hard.

[leafy22.livejournal.com]

Thanks for sharing this. These are five *enormous* stories told in such few words - and that last sentence is an absolute killer.

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Thank you kindly!

[mickeymvt.livejournal.com]

Oh Fraser, Poor guy. *pets him gently*

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Yeah, he's had a really bad day. (Thanks!)

[luzula]

I like this, the things feel really physical and concrete, like you can see them, and they also say so much about Fraser.

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

He wasn't keeping it exactly. He just failed to throw it out.

Auuughhh!! Perfect.

A piece of paper reading, "Please shoot OTHER leg."

Okay, but that really, really was funny. (But poor woobie Fraser.)

This was delightful. I loved the detail about grandmother's handwriting.

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Eee! Auuughhh!! is exactly what I was hoping for.

Thank you!

[mlyn.livejournal.com]

OUCH. This is painful and perfect and truly excellent.

[ifreet.livejournal.com]

Thank you kindly!