Quadruped Challenge, by Aingeal
Sep. 18th, 2007 10:35 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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ds_flashfictionTitle: Meow!
Author: Aingeal
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2596
Summary: Fraser and Ray are turned into cats. Fun ensues. Kittens also feature.
Notes: Inspired by This Picture. Mostly dialogue.
Disclaimer: Not mine and considering I turn them into cats...
Meow!
Ray looked at himself. “We’re cats, Fraser.”
“Yes, Ray we would appear to be cats."
“So why are we cats?”
“I can’t imagine.”
“You don’t have any crazy theories?”
“I have a theory, Ray, but it’s based more on logic.”
Ray snorted. “I can’t wait to hear this.”
“You don’t think it will be logical?”
“We’re cats, Fraser. Logic isn’t really here.”
“Well, technically speaking, Ray, logic is never here as such.”
“Just tell me this theory.” Ray’s tail twitched impatiently.
“All right. You remember that a shaman from an obscure tribe visited us last month?”
“Yeah and he was a creepy guy.”
“He liked you, Ray.”
“Liked me? Are you saying he turned us into cats?”
“Yes. He did seem to believe we needed to take a journey.”
“So he turned us into cats? To do what? Find our way to a garbage can?”
“No, Ray, I believe the cat is a metaphor.”
“Fraser, my fur is not a metaphor.” Ray looked at himself. He had fur, this was not a good thing.
“Well, it is, Ray. Cats are naturally solitary creatures, as we are.”
“We’re together how does that make us solitary?”
“Our intrinsic nature is solitary so this change allows us to explore our solitary nature whilst we’re together.”
“Not only are you a cat you’re coming up with crazy theories.”
“You look like you, Ray though. You have black fur, green eyes.” Fraser cocked his head slightly to better take in the view.
“So I look like me as a cat. You don’t even look like you!”
“Why do you say that, Ray?”
“The yellow eyes and the ginger and white fur. You don’t have ginger hair,” Ray pointed out.
“No, but my grandmother did, perhaps it’s hereditary.”
“Was your grandmother a cat?”
“Not that I’m aware of. As I said, Ray…”
“The symbolism I get it.”
Fraser switched his gaze to the table. “Hmmm.”
“What are you hmming at?”
“Oh, nothing I’m just wondering if I can leap onto the table.”
Ray looked at it. “Why do you want to leap onto the table?”
“To experience it, Ray.”
“That’s a stupid reason.”
“I’m a cat, Ray; I feel I should experience it.”
“You’re not a cat, you’re a human being.”
“Not at the moment.”
Before Ray could say anything else there was a flash of ginger and white fur next to him.
“Benny!”
By the time Ray had called out Fraser was already sitting comfortably on the table top.
“See, Ray, it’s quite easy.”
“You want me to come up there?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“No, way.”
“Ray, Ray, Ray.”
“I can’t jump up there.”
“As a cat, Ray, you’re quite athletic.”
“How do you know? Your can jump onto buildings with two legs.”
“You could try it, Ray.”
“You’re sure about this?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“Okay so I jump onto the table, then what?”
“We leap down.”
“Exactly, so why do I need to leap onto the table.”
“To practise leaping out of the window, perhaps.”
“You want to leap out of the window?”
“Yes. We have a chance to explore. We should make the most of it.”
“Make the most of being cats? All cats do is sleep and howl at night.”
“They do more than that, Ray.”
“What they fight crime too?”
“If you don’t try, Ray, you’ll never know.”
Ray sighed. “Is this another metaphor?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“Okay, what do I do?”
“If you squat down and use the power of your back legs.”
“Back legs. I have two sets of legs. This is not going to work.”
“Push up, Ray, and stretch your body.”
“It’s a long way, Benny.”
“It’s only three feet.”
“And I’m not even one foot tall.”
“I’ll help you.”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Ray said squatting slightly.
“I thought you couldn’t believe you’re a cat?”
“Yeah that too. Here goes.”
Ray pushed himself up and stretched as Fraser had told him. It was easier than he thought. He managed to grab onto the table with his front paws.
“Benny!”
“Hold on Ray; use your claws as grappling hooks.”
“Grappling hooks?!”
“Just keep calm and pull yourself up.”
Ray did so and with much hauling and puffing and panting found he was sprawled on the table. “Great I’m on the table. Now what?”
“We use the chair to get down,” Fraser explained.
“And we couldn’t have used the chair to leap up in the first place?” Ray asked moving into a sitting position.
“It wouldn’t have been the same challenge.”
“So when we’re down from the table then what?”
“We do what the shaman obviously intended us to do and explore the world.”
“You don’t know that’s what he intended. He might have been telling you that you have a mice problem.”
“I did see a mouse just last week.”
“Great let’s go find and eat it.”
“You want to eat a mouse?”
“I was being sarcastic.”
“Ah.”
“You would wouldn’t you?
“They are rich in protein.”
Ray scrunched his nose up. “That’s disgusting, Benny.”
“I’m sure you’ll like them, Ray.”
“I’m not going to be a cat forever.
“No, but while we are cats…
“I know, I know, we need to make the most of it.”
Ray was wondering what mouse did like and wondering why he was thinking about that when that flash of fur happened again. “Benny!”
“That was easier than I thought, Ray,” Fraser said from his pace perching on the ledge of the open window.”
“You could have warned me.”
“I wasn’t sure if I was going to do it, Ray, the impulse was really quite sudden.”
“Well, I’m taking the easy route.”
Ray leapt onto the chair which was fortunately close to the window. He wondered about closing his eyes as he made the jump across. He wobbled a bit but stayed on. It was cramped with two cats taking up the space.
“I think it should be an easy leap from here,” Fraser said, not letting Ray get his breath back.
“An easy leap for what? Fraser!”
Fraser had jumped off the window onto the fire escape. “Yes its fine, Ray, just leap onto the window and you should be able to easily leap down.”
Ray wasn’t exactly elegant on the way down. He landed hard, although on all fours. “Oooofffff.” Ray looked around. “Hey, where’s Dief? Won’t he chase us?”
“We’re not carrying any candy, Ray. I think we’ll be fine.”
“So, we’re outside, now what do we do? Go knock over a garbage can?”
“We wait, Ray.”
“For what?”
There was a loud scream from further down the street.
“That,” Fraser said, racing off in the direction of the sound, down the stairs and across the alley.
“Benny! You cannot go chasing after criminals! We’re cats.”
“Come on, Ray,” Fraser called.
Ray set off along the same route. “Why is this my life? Shamans, animal transformations and a lover with fur and four legs who wants to save the world?”
Half an hour later they walked back to Fraser’s building.
“That worked out rather well, didn’t it, Ray?”
“I can’t believe you did that. He could have killed you,” Ray said. Fraser had leapt onto a man who had was in the middle of a liquor store robbery. Fraser had scratched the man’s face badly and Ray had done his bit by scratching the guy’s legs. That had subdued him until the police had arrived.
“I wasn’t in any danger, Ray.”
“What if the cops had called animal control?
“Then we would have had to escape.”
“And how would we do that?”
“Ray, the situation had a successful outcome.”
“What are you doing now?” Ray asked.
“Crawling into a garbage can.”
“I can see that, why?”
“One of the children in my apartment building lost her teddy bear,” Fraser replied with a muffled sound.
“And you thought you’d look for it in the garbage?”
“Yes, Ray.”
Ray followed his partner into the gloom. “I don’t believe it, we’re cats and I’m still having to hunt through garbage with you.”
“Look, Ray.”
“Look at what? It’s dark in here.”
“I’ve found it.
“Great, grab it and let’s get out here.
“I need some help, Ray.
“Okay, hang on.
Ray bumped into Fraser but he followed Fraser’s lead and using his mouth got a grip on the bear. Together they dragged it, and themselves, into the open.
“There.”
“It’s disgusting, Fraser,” Ray said trying to get the taste of garbage off his tongue.
“It can be washed, Ray.”
Ray stopped his tongue actions and noticed Fraser. “I don’t believe it.”
“What, Ray?”
“Your fur’s dirty.”
“It is?”
“Yeah look at yourself, Benny.”
Fraser examined himself. “You’re right, Ray. I don’t see what’s so amusing.”
Ray still giggled. “Oh come on, you never get dirty.”
“I do.”
“Yeah but not so anyone sees the dirt.”
“You’re dirty as well, Ray. Although your black fur obviously doesn’t show it up as much.”
Ray’s giggles subsided. “You look okay, Benny.”
“I do?”
“Even with dirt on you.”
“Thank you, Ray. You look attractive too. As a cat.”
“So now what do we do?”
“We could mate.”
“In public?!”
“No-one knows it’s us, Ray.”
“I am still not mating with you in public. You’re a horny cat, I don’t believe it.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to, Ray?” Fraser asked rubbing up against him.
“Yes. You really want to get intimate as a cat?”
“It would be a logical conclusion to our experience.”
“Logical? We’re turned into cats, you foil a liquor store robbery, as a cat, we go crawling through garbage to look for a lost teddy bear and you think mating is a logical conclusion?”
“Yes, Ray. We have shared a journey, an experience, we’ve helped others, and we now get some time to ourselves.”
“We’re still not doing it in public.
“Ah, now, Ray…”
“And how do two male cats mate anyway?”
“I imagine it would involve, erm, penetration.”
“Just be glad some old lady hasn’t picked me up and taken me to be neutered.”
“Perhaps that’s another good reason for mating inside.”
“Yeah. And we need a wash first,” Ray pointed out sniffing.
“How, Ray?
“We fill the sink with water and clean ourselves…” Ray was interrupted by Fraser licking his paw. “Oh, Benny! Stop that!”
“I’m cleaning myself, Ray.”
“With your tongue!”
“As a cat would.”
“You’re really taking this cat thing too far.”
“I’m allowing myself to experience it, Ray.”
“Okay, so what about me?”
“I could clean you if you want,” Fraser offered.
“And if I let you?”
“We go back to my apartment and mate.”
“This is blackmail.”
“I thought it was bribery?”
“Whatever it is, it’s going to work,” Rau said, resigned. “Although I still don’t know how two male cats are going to do it.”
“One of us has to be on top.”
“And who is that going to be?” Ray asked as Fraser licked his face.
“You, Ray.”
“Why me? Don’t tell me, the logical choice?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“Okay, why is it logical?”
Fraser stopped his ministrations. “You’ll get upset if I tell you.”
“Not I won’t.”
“Size, Ray.”
“Size?”
“Yes, you are the smaller of the two of us.”
“Thanks for pointing that out.”
“So it’s easier for me to take your weight than visa versa.”
“Okay, fine. I’m not arguing. Do you have to lick me in public?” Ray asked as Fraser started again.
“You wanted to be clean, Ray.”
“Mmmm, it’s not bad….”
It took them a long time until Fraser was happy with his attempts at cleaning, cat style. Ray had even tried himself but the taste of dirt had put him off.
“Are we acceptable now, Ray?!
“Yeah, let’s get this over with.”
“I don’t want to force you, Ray.”
“You are not forcing me let’s just go to your apartment and hope Dief doesn’t see us.”
A few hours later they were naked in bed together. Ray had woken up first delighted he no longer had four legs and fur.
“Benny.”
“Yes, Ray?”
“We’re us again.”
Fraser looked Ray and himself over. “Yes we would appear to be.”
Ray kissed him. “Thank God. I still don’t believe we did that.”
“Did what?”
“You know what.”
Fraser blushed. “I think I do, yes. It wasn’t that bad, Ray.”
“When I figured out cat anatomy.”
“Well, there was that, yes. Did you learn something, Ray?
“Apart from the fact I don’t like being a cat?
“Ray!”
Ray grinned. “Yeah I did. We’re better together than apart.”
“We are aren’t we?”
“Of course we are.” Ray got out of bed. “You want breakfast?”
“Yes, please, Ray. I can do it….” Fraser made a move to get up but Ray stopped him with a kiss.
“No, you stay there I’ll do it.”
“Okay, Ray.”
There was a knock at the door.
Ray sighed. “Great this probably one of your neighbours. I guess breakfast is out.” He found a pair of pants and a sweater and put them on, he wasn’t going to answer the door naked.
“If they need help, Ray…”
“I know, I know, we have to help.”
Ray opened the door but there was no-one there. His gaze was drawn to a basket at his feet. He picked it up and carried it into the apartment shutting the door behind him. “Hey Benny, did you order anything?”
“Not that I’m aware, Ray.”
“What is this?” Ray placed it on the kitchen table.
Fraser got up and out some boxers on as he came to examine it.
“It’s a basket, Ray, there appears to be a note.”
Ray plucked the note form the top of the basket. “Dear Benton and Raymond, Here is another test for you. It’s not signed.” Ray turned it over. “Did that basket just make a noise?”
“Yes, Ray, I believe it could be called a mewling.”
“And what makes a mewling?”
Fraser opened the top. “Look, Ray, kittens!”
In the basket were four, very young, kittens.
“Kittens?! We are not having kittens, no way, just…” Before \ray could object further Fraser had picked up one of the kittens. “Oh fine.”
“This one looks like you.”
“So we’re raising kittens now. Are they ours?”
“They could be…”
“A metaphor?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“A metaphor that poos and eats,” Ray said disdainfully.
“You did say you wouldn’t be averse to having pets, Ray.”
“Okay, fine, we can raise kittens.”
“Thank you, Ray.”
Fray picked up another of the furry occupants of the basket. “And this one looks like you. We’ll call him Benny junior.”
“Oh dear how are we going to tell Dief?”
“Tell him he’s got lots of new friends and that if he doesn’t eat them he can have a pizza.”
“We’re not feeding the kittens pizza.”
“No, we’re not. I’m not going to feed my kids the wrong thing.
“Your kids?
“Our kids. See this is Ray junior.”
Fraser handed over the black kitten and took his own namesake in return.
“Do you think we can raise these…kids…kittens?” Fraser asked stroking Benny Junior.
“Together we can do anything,” Ray pointed out. He then felt something warm and wet and held the kitten away from him. “ Benny! Get me a cloth.”
“Did Ray junior urinate on you?”
“Not a word.”
“Understood.”
Fraser didn’t mention to Ray hw was certain where the kittens had come from, he was sure the Shaman wouldn’t mind and Ray was bound to work it out. Of course he also didn’t mention he was pretty sure Ray Junior was a female kitten. She was cute though, just like Ray.
Author: Aingeal
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2596
Summary: Fraser and Ray are turned into cats. Fun ensues. Kittens also feature.
Notes: Inspired by This Picture. Mostly dialogue.
Disclaimer: Not mine and considering I turn them into cats...
Meow!
Ray looked at himself. “We’re cats, Fraser.”
“Yes, Ray we would appear to be cats."
“So why are we cats?”
“I can’t imagine.”
“You don’t have any crazy theories?”
“I have a theory, Ray, but it’s based more on logic.”
Ray snorted. “I can’t wait to hear this.”
“You don’t think it will be logical?”
“We’re cats, Fraser. Logic isn’t really here.”
“Well, technically speaking, Ray, logic is never here as such.”
“Just tell me this theory.” Ray’s tail twitched impatiently.
“All right. You remember that a shaman from an obscure tribe visited us last month?”
“Yeah and he was a creepy guy.”
“He liked you, Ray.”
“Liked me? Are you saying he turned us into cats?”
“Yes. He did seem to believe we needed to take a journey.”
“So he turned us into cats? To do what? Find our way to a garbage can?”
“No, Ray, I believe the cat is a metaphor.”
“Fraser, my fur is not a metaphor.” Ray looked at himself. He had fur, this was not a good thing.
“Well, it is, Ray. Cats are naturally solitary creatures, as we are.”
“We’re together how does that make us solitary?”
“Our intrinsic nature is solitary so this change allows us to explore our solitary nature whilst we’re together.”
“Not only are you a cat you’re coming up with crazy theories.”
“You look like you, Ray though. You have black fur, green eyes.” Fraser cocked his head slightly to better take in the view.
“So I look like me as a cat. You don’t even look like you!”
“Why do you say that, Ray?”
“The yellow eyes and the ginger and white fur. You don’t have ginger hair,” Ray pointed out.
“No, but my grandmother did, perhaps it’s hereditary.”
“Was your grandmother a cat?”
“Not that I’m aware of. As I said, Ray…”
“The symbolism I get it.”
Fraser switched his gaze to the table. “Hmmm.”
“What are you hmming at?”
“Oh, nothing I’m just wondering if I can leap onto the table.”
Ray looked at it. “Why do you want to leap onto the table?”
“To experience it, Ray.”
“That’s a stupid reason.”
“I’m a cat, Ray; I feel I should experience it.”
“You’re not a cat, you’re a human being.”
“Not at the moment.”
Before Ray could say anything else there was a flash of ginger and white fur next to him.
“Benny!”
By the time Ray had called out Fraser was already sitting comfortably on the table top.
“See, Ray, it’s quite easy.”
“You want me to come up there?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“No, way.”
“Ray, Ray, Ray.”
“I can’t jump up there.”
“As a cat, Ray, you’re quite athletic.”
“How do you know? Your can jump onto buildings with two legs.”
“You could try it, Ray.”
“You’re sure about this?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“Okay so I jump onto the table, then what?”
“We leap down.”
“Exactly, so why do I need to leap onto the table.”
“To practise leaping out of the window, perhaps.”
“You want to leap out of the window?”
“Yes. We have a chance to explore. We should make the most of it.”
“Make the most of being cats? All cats do is sleep and howl at night.”
“They do more than that, Ray.”
“What they fight crime too?”
“If you don’t try, Ray, you’ll never know.”
Ray sighed. “Is this another metaphor?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“Okay, what do I do?”
“If you squat down and use the power of your back legs.”
“Back legs. I have two sets of legs. This is not going to work.”
“Push up, Ray, and stretch your body.”
“It’s a long way, Benny.”
“It’s only three feet.”
“And I’m not even one foot tall.”
“I’ll help you.”
“I can’t believe I’m doing this,” Ray said squatting slightly.
“I thought you couldn’t believe you’re a cat?”
“Yeah that too. Here goes.”
Ray pushed himself up and stretched as Fraser had told him. It was easier than he thought. He managed to grab onto the table with his front paws.
“Benny!”
“Hold on Ray; use your claws as grappling hooks.”
“Grappling hooks?!”
“Just keep calm and pull yourself up.”
Ray did so and with much hauling and puffing and panting found he was sprawled on the table. “Great I’m on the table. Now what?”
“We use the chair to get down,” Fraser explained.
“And we couldn’t have used the chair to leap up in the first place?” Ray asked moving into a sitting position.
“It wouldn’t have been the same challenge.”
“So when we’re down from the table then what?”
“We do what the shaman obviously intended us to do and explore the world.”
“You don’t know that’s what he intended. He might have been telling you that you have a mice problem.”
“I did see a mouse just last week.”
“Great let’s go find and eat it.”
“You want to eat a mouse?”
“I was being sarcastic.”
“Ah.”
“You would wouldn’t you?
“They are rich in protein.”
Ray scrunched his nose up. “That’s disgusting, Benny.”
“I’m sure you’ll like them, Ray.”
“I’m not going to be a cat forever.
“No, but while we are cats…
“I know, I know, we need to make the most of it.”
Ray was wondering what mouse did like and wondering why he was thinking about that when that flash of fur happened again. “Benny!”
“That was easier than I thought, Ray,” Fraser said from his pace perching on the ledge of the open window.”
“You could have warned me.”
“I wasn’t sure if I was going to do it, Ray, the impulse was really quite sudden.”
“Well, I’m taking the easy route.”
Ray leapt onto the chair which was fortunately close to the window. He wondered about closing his eyes as he made the jump across. He wobbled a bit but stayed on. It was cramped with two cats taking up the space.
“I think it should be an easy leap from here,” Fraser said, not letting Ray get his breath back.
“An easy leap for what? Fraser!”
Fraser had jumped off the window onto the fire escape. “Yes its fine, Ray, just leap onto the window and you should be able to easily leap down.”
Ray wasn’t exactly elegant on the way down. He landed hard, although on all fours. “Oooofffff.” Ray looked around. “Hey, where’s Dief? Won’t he chase us?”
“We’re not carrying any candy, Ray. I think we’ll be fine.”
“So, we’re outside, now what do we do? Go knock over a garbage can?”
“We wait, Ray.”
“For what?”
There was a loud scream from further down the street.
“That,” Fraser said, racing off in the direction of the sound, down the stairs and across the alley.
“Benny! You cannot go chasing after criminals! We’re cats.”
“Come on, Ray,” Fraser called.
Ray set off along the same route. “Why is this my life? Shamans, animal transformations and a lover with fur and four legs who wants to save the world?”
Half an hour later they walked back to Fraser’s building.
“That worked out rather well, didn’t it, Ray?”
“I can’t believe you did that. He could have killed you,” Ray said. Fraser had leapt onto a man who had was in the middle of a liquor store robbery. Fraser had scratched the man’s face badly and Ray had done his bit by scratching the guy’s legs. That had subdued him until the police had arrived.
“I wasn’t in any danger, Ray.”
“What if the cops had called animal control?
“Then we would have had to escape.”
“And how would we do that?”
“Ray, the situation had a successful outcome.”
“What are you doing now?” Ray asked.
“Crawling into a garbage can.”
“I can see that, why?”
“One of the children in my apartment building lost her teddy bear,” Fraser replied with a muffled sound.
“And you thought you’d look for it in the garbage?”
“Yes, Ray.”
Ray followed his partner into the gloom. “I don’t believe it, we’re cats and I’m still having to hunt through garbage with you.”
“Look, Ray.”
“Look at what? It’s dark in here.”
“I’ve found it.
“Great, grab it and let’s get out here.
“I need some help, Ray.
“Okay, hang on.
Ray bumped into Fraser but he followed Fraser’s lead and using his mouth got a grip on the bear. Together they dragged it, and themselves, into the open.
“There.”
“It’s disgusting, Fraser,” Ray said trying to get the taste of garbage off his tongue.
“It can be washed, Ray.”
Ray stopped his tongue actions and noticed Fraser. “I don’t believe it.”
“What, Ray?”
“Your fur’s dirty.”
“It is?”
“Yeah look at yourself, Benny.”
Fraser examined himself. “You’re right, Ray. I don’t see what’s so amusing.”
Ray still giggled. “Oh come on, you never get dirty.”
“I do.”
“Yeah but not so anyone sees the dirt.”
“You’re dirty as well, Ray. Although your black fur obviously doesn’t show it up as much.”
Ray’s giggles subsided. “You look okay, Benny.”
“I do?”
“Even with dirt on you.”
“Thank you, Ray. You look attractive too. As a cat.”
“So now what do we do?”
“We could mate.”
“In public?!”
“No-one knows it’s us, Ray.”
“I am still not mating with you in public. You’re a horny cat, I don’t believe it.”
“Are you sure you don’t want to, Ray?” Fraser asked rubbing up against him.
“Yes. You really want to get intimate as a cat?”
“It would be a logical conclusion to our experience.”
“Logical? We’re turned into cats, you foil a liquor store robbery, as a cat, we go crawling through garbage to look for a lost teddy bear and you think mating is a logical conclusion?”
“Yes, Ray. We have shared a journey, an experience, we’ve helped others, and we now get some time to ourselves.”
“We’re still not doing it in public.
“Ah, now, Ray…”
“And how do two male cats mate anyway?”
“I imagine it would involve, erm, penetration.”
“Just be glad some old lady hasn’t picked me up and taken me to be neutered.”
“Perhaps that’s another good reason for mating inside.”
“Yeah. And we need a wash first,” Ray pointed out sniffing.
“How, Ray?
“We fill the sink with water and clean ourselves…” Ray was interrupted by Fraser licking his paw. “Oh, Benny! Stop that!”
“I’m cleaning myself, Ray.”
“With your tongue!”
“As a cat would.”
“You’re really taking this cat thing too far.”
“I’m allowing myself to experience it, Ray.”
“Okay, so what about me?”
“I could clean you if you want,” Fraser offered.
“And if I let you?”
“We go back to my apartment and mate.”
“This is blackmail.”
“I thought it was bribery?”
“Whatever it is, it’s going to work,” Rau said, resigned. “Although I still don’t know how two male cats are going to do it.”
“One of us has to be on top.”
“And who is that going to be?” Ray asked as Fraser licked his face.
“You, Ray.”
“Why me? Don’t tell me, the logical choice?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“Okay, why is it logical?”
Fraser stopped his ministrations. “You’ll get upset if I tell you.”
“Not I won’t.”
“Size, Ray.”
“Size?”
“Yes, you are the smaller of the two of us.”
“Thanks for pointing that out.”
“So it’s easier for me to take your weight than visa versa.”
“Okay, fine. I’m not arguing. Do you have to lick me in public?” Ray asked as Fraser started again.
“You wanted to be clean, Ray.”
“Mmmm, it’s not bad….”
It took them a long time until Fraser was happy with his attempts at cleaning, cat style. Ray had even tried himself but the taste of dirt had put him off.
“Are we acceptable now, Ray?!
“Yeah, let’s get this over with.”
“I don’t want to force you, Ray.”
“You are not forcing me let’s just go to your apartment and hope Dief doesn’t see us.”
A few hours later they were naked in bed together. Ray had woken up first delighted he no longer had four legs and fur.
“Benny.”
“Yes, Ray?”
“We’re us again.”
Fraser looked Ray and himself over. “Yes we would appear to be.”
Ray kissed him. “Thank God. I still don’t believe we did that.”
“Did what?”
“You know what.”
Fraser blushed. “I think I do, yes. It wasn’t that bad, Ray.”
“When I figured out cat anatomy.”
“Well, there was that, yes. Did you learn something, Ray?
“Apart from the fact I don’t like being a cat?
“Ray!”
Ray grinned. “Yeah I did. We’re better together than apart.”
“We are aren’t we?”
“Of course we are.” Ray got out of bed. “You want breakfast?”
“Yes, please, Ray. I can do it….” Fraser made a move to get up but Ray stopped him with a kiss.
“No, you stay there I’ll do it.”
“Okay, Ray.”
There was a knock at the door.
Ray sighed. “Great this probably one of your neighbours. I guess breakfast is out.” He found a pair of pants and a sweater and put them on, he wasn’t going to answer the door naked.
“If they need help, Ray…”
“I know, I know, we have to help.”
Ray opened the door but there was no-one there. His gaze was drawn to a basket at his feet. He picked it up and carried it into the apartment shutting the door behind him. “Hey Benny, did you order anything?”
“Not that I’m aware, Ray.”
“What is this?” Ray placed it on the kitchen table.
Fraser got up and out some boxers on as he came to examine it.
“It’s a basket, Ray, there appears to be a note.”
Ray plucked the note form the top of the basket. “Dear Benton and Raymond, Here is another test for you. It’s not signed.” Ray turned it over. “Did that basket just make a noise?”
“Yes, Ray, I believe it could be called a mewling.”
“And what makes a mewling?”
Fraser opened the top. “Look, Ray, kittens!”
In the basket were four, very young, kittens.
“Kittens?! We are not having kittens, no way, just…” Before \ray could object further Fraser had picked up one of the kittens. “Oh fine.”
“This one looks like you.”
“So we’re raising kittens now. Are they ours?”
“They could be…”
“A metaphor?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“A metaphor that poos and eats,” Ray said disdainfully.
“You did say you wouldn’t be averse to having pets, Ray.”
“Okay, fine, we can raise kittens.”
“Thank you, Ray.”
Fray picked up another of the furry occupants of the basket. “And this one looks like you. We’ll call him Benny junior.”
“Oh dear how are we going to tell Dief?”
“Tell him he’s got lots of new friends and that if he doesn’t eat them he can have a pizza.”
“We’re not feeding the kittens pizza.”
“No, we’re not. I’m not going to feed my kids the wrong thing.
“Your kids?
“Our kids. See this is Ray junior.”
Fraser handed over the black kitten and took his own namesake in return.
“Do you think we can raise these…kids…kittens?” Fraser asked stroking Benny Junior.
“Together we can do anything,” Ray pointed out. He then felt something warm and wet and held the kitten away from him. “ Benny! Get me a cloth.”
“Did Ray junior urinate on you?”
“Not a word.”
“Understood.”
Fraser didn’t mention to Ray hw was certain where the kittens had come from, he was sure the Shaman wouldn’t mind and Ray was bound to work it out. Of course he also didn’t mention he was pretty sure Ray Junior was a female kitten. She was cute though, just like Ray.
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Date: 2007-09-19 05:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-19 10:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-09-19 10:01 am (UTC)I'm glad you like it and that it amused. :-)
Thank you.
Yay cat"Fraser and cat!Ray.
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Date: 2007-09-19 10:38 am (UTC)Oh, dear, dear, dear. Once again you succeed, crack that's totally in character and works!!!!
Some superb lines - well most of them.
This one, however, just about sums F/V up totally:
Ray followed his partner into the gloom. “I don’t believe it, we’re cats and I’m still having to hunt through garbage with you.”
Oh, and we've used 'orange' it was one of your recent DR stories, when Ray's eating an orange.
Yellow, maybe? The cats' eyes are yellow, teddy bears are often yellow . . . And if you really want to take it one step further - remember the cat peed on Ray. *Runs away*
So I think yellow might well do it.
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Date: 2007-09-19 11:02 am (UTC)Yay I ma glad you feel I suceeded.
And I do like that line too.
I am glad you liked it.
And d'oh! I should have checked the table frst...Yellow sounds good though.
Hee hee.
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Date: 2007-09-19 11:15 am (UTC)It's perfect. So Ray. Spot on.
*Nods*
*Smiles*
Yep.
Yellow duly moved to its new place.
To remind you, all that is left is:
049. Diamond
050. Spade (DR story we talked about)
057. Lunch
061. Winter (DR story we vaguely mentioned)
088. School (DR story we talked about)
091. Birthday (DR story we talked about)
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Date: 2007-09-19 11:41 am (UTC):-)
Ah yes I remember now. And I might have some ideas for diamond and lunch...hmmm...
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Date: 2007-09-19 11:55 am (UTC)I'm glad. And you know, 'Lunch' could be a non-DR story with Benny and Ray having a perfectly 'normal' lunch and ending up chasing through the streets because someone at the next table snuck out without paying for his cup of coffee and of course Fraser has to chase him down, even if it takes all day :-)
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Date: 2007-09-19 11:57 am (UTC)I was thinking bothe of them being normal U ;-) And yes that idea is an excellent one *hugs the plot bunny*. And diamond...well engagement rings have diamonds...
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Date: 2007-09-19 12:05 pm (UTC)Oooh, yes. So they do. So they do.
Or even a diamond in a tie pin, maybe, possibly. In fact the possibilities are endless.
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Date: 2007-09-19 12:06 pm (UTC):-)
Oh yes so many lovely possibilities.
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Date: 2007-09-19 12:10 pm (UTC)*Waits with eager anticipation*