Courteous Ray Challenge (3) by Aingeal
Jan. 29th, 2008 11:54 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
aingeal8c.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionTitle: Canadians or Aliens?
Author: Aingeal
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: PG
Summary: Now he and Fraser are in Canada Ray is finding that being polite doesn't come naturally.
Notes: This is for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
belmanoir who asked for a sequel to 'Aliens or Canadians?'. Many thanks to leda_speaks who makes editing fun. Also I might erm...be slightly addicted to this challenge. *g*
Canadians or Aliens?
Ray gritted his teeth as he passed through customs. He remembered to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. He remembered to smile and speak in as calm as voice as he could manage. This politeness thing was beginning to get on his nerves.
“Are you all right, Ray?” Fraser asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Ray lied. “Just so long as I don’t have to say ‘thank you kindly’ to another person.”
Ray had already said please and thank you more times than he thought he ever would he have to. Problem was, he and Benny hadn’t even gotten on their connecting flight to Whitehorse yet.
As they walked through the airport to the baggage claim point, Ray found the crowds weren’t helping. A large businessman bumped into him. “Hey, watch where you’re…” Ray bit off the rest of his reply. “I’m sorry,” he corrected, hoping the Canadian god of politeness would forgive him for that one small lapse.
“My fault,” the man replied, and rushed off.
“How do you do it, Benny?” Ray asked.
“Do what, Ray?” Fraser asked, looking puzzled.
“This,” Ray said, waving his hands around. “Saying ‘please’ and’ thank you’ and ‘sorry’ to complete strangers.”
“I don’t know, Ray. Maybe it's genetic.”
“So, all Canadians are born with good manners?”
“It could be the water.”
Ray rolled his eyes. “Blaming the water again? The whole of Canada's water supply is drugged?"
Fraser looked thoughtful as he moved though the crowds with ease. “I wouldn’t say drugged. Perhaps there’s a high percentage of fluoride which can alter the chemical structure of the people who drink it. Although, traditionally, fluoride has more commonly been used for strengthening teeth which is why it’s added to toothpaste. Although…”
“Benny! We are not talking about oral health here, we are talking about how Canadians manage to be so polite without going insane.”
“Are you saying you’re going insane?”
Ray ran a hand over his head and hair. “No. Yes. No, I am not going insane I’m just…”
“Annoyed?”
“Yes.”
“Ray, if it’s too difficult for you…”
Ray rolled his shoulders. “"Hey, I can do this." He paused. “My teeth are fine, too.”
“Teeth?”
“Fluoride, Benny.”
“Oh. I wasn’t sure that…”
“That it was the fluoride?” Ray asked, avoiding bumping into a small group of kids.
“Yes, Ray. I mean no, Ray. I was just trying to think of a reason.”
“It can’t be the water because you’re this polite in Chicago, too.”
“Maybe it is a cultural thing.”
“Maybe.” Ray gritted his teeth and tried not to say anything as more and more people surrounded them.
“Ray, you don’t have to do this.”
“Do what?” Ray asked, though of course he knew very well what Fraser meant.
“You can be yourself.”
“Canada hates me being myself, Benny. It wants me to be Canadian.”
“I don’t want you to be Canadian, Ray.”
Ray looked surprised and nearly tripped over a small dog. “So when I retire you don’t want us to move to Canada?” He tried not to yell above the noise of the crowded airport.
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead, Ray, but you can certainly still keep your US citizenship.”
“Yeah. But if I live in Canada I bet I still have to polite.” Ray was sure the Canadians would check at immigration.
“Canada doesn’t hate you, Ray. Unfortunately, some Canadian citizens do seem to wish you harm.”
“Maybe I should drink more maple syrup.”
“You don’t drink maple syrup, Ray. I mean, you can but it’s much better if you...”
Ray interrupted. They’d had the maple syrup talk before. “Okay, but maybe I should put out a Canadian flag on flag day as well as US one. To show that I'm all about the spirit of international cooperation. Then Canada wouldn’t be mad at me and I wouldn’t keep having to find new ways to apologise to people without going nuts.”
They made it to baggage claim without Ray having to apologise to anyone else. At least, he assumed he didn’t have to apologise. He had brushed past a few people, but so had Fraser and he hadn’t said anything. Ray decided to follow the native’s lead. He was now looking for their bags on the conveyer belt.
“Ray, these are our bags,” Fraser said, pointing.
A guy was blocking Ray’s way. “Hey, move it, I need to get my bag,” Ray said, shoving the guy to one side and grabbing hold of his suitcase.
“Americans,” the man muttered.
Ray hauled their baggage off the conveyer and dropped it onto the floor sighing. “Oh, damn. I’ve done it now, Benny.”
“What?”
Ray stared forlornly at their luggage. “I yelled at the guy, that’s it, any minute now a bunch of armed guys are going to come into this room and start shooting.”
“Ray, airport security would stop them.”
“Oh yeah, well, Canadian airport security might be the bad guys.”
“You’re being entirely irrational, Ray.”
“I am not!” Ray raised his voice; he figured the damage was done.
“You are! Just get your bags and we’ll get on our connecting flight. And I don't want to hear another word about how Canada is trying to kill you.” Fraser’s voice was incredibly firm.
Ray was smiling. “Benny?”
“Yes, Ray?”
“That wasn’t very polite.”
“I’m…”
Ray held up a finger. “Don’t say it.”
“Don’t say what?”
“That you’re sorry.”
Fraser looked puzzled. “But I am.”
“But we don’t want Canada to know that.”
“I’m not following you, Ray.”
Ray smiled as he explained. “If you act like an American some of the time and I act like a Canadian some if the time then Canada won’t know the difference.”
“I see, Ray. You don’t expect me to yell at people do you?”
Ray shook his head. “Nah. Just me. Not all the time. Just you know to…you know…”
“Stop you becoming irrational about my country?”
“Yeah.”
“I can try, Ray.”
“Good. So which gate are we leaving from?" Ray asked, picking up his share of the luggage.
“Well…erm, Ray?”
“What?”
“It’s probably nothing.” Fraser shrugged.
“What is nothing?”
“Well, it’s a while before our flight. Why don’t we go out of the airport and find somewhere to eat?”
"Benny, they have restaurants in airports for a reason. It's so you don't have to leave."
“Oh, well…perhaps…Never mind.”
Ray put the luggage down. “Never mind what?”
“I’m not really hungry.”
“Are you feeling okay, Benny?” Ray asked, concerned. "You haven't been abducted by aliens?”
“No, Ray. But I think this vacation will go fine.”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Call it a hunch, Ray.”
Ray was surprised. “A hunch? You having a hunch?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“And you said I was irrational…” Ray muttered.
“It’s not irrational, it was based on observation.”
“Then it’s a conclusion not a hunch.”
“There’s a difference?”
“A hunch you feel, an observation you see.”
“Ah.” Fraser checked his watch. “Gate four, Ray.”
“What?”
“Our connecting flight is going leaving from gate four.”
“Okay.” Ray picked up his share of the luggage once more.
Fraser bent down to get his. “And Ray?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to be polite, if you don’t want to be.”
“I might be polite to you. I might ask you something and say please.”
“When?”
“When we’re alone,” Ray replied.
“Oh. I’ll thank you kindly, Ray.”
“Good.”
As they headed off to gate four, neither of them appeared to notice the heavily armed men entering the baggage claim area, being chased by airport security.
Author: Aingeal
Pairing: Fraser/Vecchio
Rating: PG
Summary: Now he and Fraser are in Canada Ray is finding that being polite doesn't come naturally.
Notes: This is for
belmanoir who asked for a sequel to 'Aliens or Canadians?'. Many thanks to leda_speaks who makes editing fun. Also I might erm...be slightly addicted to this challenge. *g*Canadians or Aliens?
Ray gritted his teeth as he passed through customs. He remembered to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’. He remembered to smile and speak in as calm as voice as he could manage. This politeness thing was beginning to get on his nerves.
“Are you all right, Ray?” Fraser asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” Ray lied. “Just so long as I don’t have to say ‘thank you kindly’ to another person.”
Ray had already said please and thank you more times than he thought he ever would he have to. Problem was, he and Benny hadn’t even gotten on their connecting flight to Whitehorse yet.
As they walked through the airport to the baggage claim point, Ray found the crowds weren’t helping. A large businessman bumped into him. “Hey, watch where you’re…” Ray bit off the rest of his reply. “I’m sorry,” he corrected, hoping the Canadian god of politeness would forgive him for that one small lapse.
“My fault,” the man replied, and rushed off.
“How do you do it, Benny?” Ray asked.
“Do what, Ray?” Fraser asked, looking puzzled.
“This,” Ray said, waving his hands around. “Saying ‘please’ and’ thank you’ and ‘sorry’ to complete strangers.”
“I don’t know, Ray. Maybe it's genetic.”
“So, all Canadians are born with good manners?”
“It could be the water.”
Ray rolled his eyes. “Blaming the water again? The whole of Canada's water supply is drugged?"
Fraser looked thoughtful as he moved though the crowds with ease. “I wouldn’t say drugged. Perhaps there’s a high percentage of fluoride which can alter the chemical structure of the people who drink it. Although, traditionally, fluoride has more commonly been used for strengthening teeth which is why it’s added to toothpaste. Although…”
“Benny! We are not talking about oral health here, we are talking about how Canadians manage to be so polite without going insane.”
“Are you saying you’re going insane?”
Ray ran a hand over his head and hair. “No. Yes. No, I am not going insane I’m just…”
“Annoyed?”
“Yes.”
“Ray, if it’s too difficult for you…”
Ray rolled his shoulders. “"Hey, I can do this." He paused. “My teeth are fine, too.”
“Teeth?”
“Fluoride, Benny.”
“Oh. I wasn’t sure that…”
“That it was the fluoride?” Ray asked, avoiding bumping into a small group of kids.
“Yes, Ray. I mean no, Ray. I was just trying to think of a reason.”
“It can’t be the water because you’re this polite in Chicago, too.”
“Maybe it is a cultural thing.”
“Maybe.” Ray gritted his teeth and tried not to say anything as more and more people surrounded them.
“Ray, you don’t have to do this.”
“Do what?” Ray asked, though of course he knew very well what Fraser meant.
“You can be yourself.”
“Canada hates me being myself, Benny. It wants me to be Canadian.”
“I don’t want you to be Canadian, Ray.”
Ray looked surprised and nearly tripped over a small dog. “So when I retire you don’t want us to move to Canada?” He tried not to yell above the noise of the crowded airport.
“I hadn’t thought that far ahead, Ray, but you can certainly still keep your US citizenship.”
“Yeah. But if I live in Canada I bet I still have to polite.” Ray was sure the Canadians would check at immigration.
“Canada doesn’t hate you, Ray. Unfortunately, some Canadian citizens do seem to wish you harm.”
“Maybe I should drink more maple syrup.”
“You don’t drink maple syrup, Ray. I mean, you can but it’s much better if you...”
Ray interrupted. They’d had the maple syrup talk before. “Okay, but maybe I should put out a Canadian flag on flag day as well as US one. To show that I'm all about the spirit of international cooperation. Then Canada wouldn’t be mad at me and I wouldn’t keep having to find new ways to apologise to people without going nuts.”
They made it to baggage claim without Ray having to apologise to anyone else. At least, he assumed he didn’t have to apologise. He had brushed past a few people, but so had Fraser and he hadn’t said anything. Ray decided to follow the native’s lead. He was now looking for their bags on the conveyer belt.
“Ray, these are our bags,” Fraser said, pointing.
A guy was blocking Ray’s way. “Hey, move it, I need to get my bag,” Ray said, shoving the guy to one side and grabbing hold of his suitcase.
“Americans,” the man muttered.
Ray hauled their baggage off the conveyer and dropped it onto the floor sighing. “Oh, damn. I’ve done it now, Benny.”
“What?”
Ray stared forlornly at their luggage. “I yelled at the guy, that’s it, any minute now a bunch of armed guys are going to come into this room and start shooting.”
“Ray, airport security would stop them.”
“Oh yeah, well, Canadian airport security might be the bad guys.”
“You’re being entirely irrational, Ray.”
“I am not!” Ray raised his voice; he figured the damage was done.
“You are! Just get your bags and we’ll get on our connecting flight. And I don't want to hear another word about how Canada is trying to kill you.” Fraser’s voice was incredibly firm.
Ray was smiling. “Benny?”
“Yes, Ray?”
“That wasn’t very polite.”
“I’m…”
Ray held up a finger. “Don’t say it.”
“Don’t say what?”
“That you’re sorry.”
Fraser looked puzzled. “But I am.”
“But we don’t want Canada to know that.”
“I’m not following you, Ray.”
Ray smiled as he explained. “If you act like an American some of the time and I act like a Canadian some if the time then Canada won’t know the difference.”
“I see, Ray. You don’t expect me to yell at people do you?”
Ray shook his head. “Nah. Just me. Not all the time. Just you know to…you know…”
“Stop you becoming irrational about my country?”
“Yeah.”
“I can try, Ray.”
“Good. So which gate are we leaving from?" Ray asked, picking up his share of the luggage.
“Well…erm, Ray?”
“What?”
“It’s probably nothing.” Fraser shrugged.
“What is nothing?”
“Well, it’s a while before our flight. Why don’t we go out of the airport and find somewhere to eat?”
"Benny, they have restaurants in airports for a reason. It's so you don't have to leave."
“Oh, well…perhaps…Never mind.”
Ray put the luggage down. “Never mind what?”
“I’m not really hungry.”
“Are you feeling okay, Benny?” Ray asked, concerned. "You haven't been abducted by aliens?”
“No, Ray. But I think this vacation will go fine.”
“You do?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Call it a hunch, Ray.”
Ray was surprised. “A hunch? You having a hunch?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“And you said I was irrational…” Ray muttered.
“It’s not irrational, it was based on observation.”
“Then it’s a conclusion not a hunch.”
“There’s a difference?”
“A hunch you feel, an observation you see.”
“Ah.” Fraser checked his watch. “Gate four, Ray.”
“What?”
“Our connecting flight is going leaving from gate four.”
“Okay.” Ray picked up his share of the luggage once more.
Fraser bent down to get his. “And Ray?”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t have to be polite, if you don’t want to be.”
“I might be polite to you. I might ask you something and say please.”
“When?”
“When we’re alone,” Ray replied.
“Oh. I’ll thank you kindly, Ray.”
“Good.”
As they headed off to gate four, neither of them appeared to notice the heavily armed men entering the baggage claim area, being chased by airport security.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 12:49 pm (UTC)Oh, lovely.
Superb banter (hmmm, methinks I need to make an icon saying that for your stories *g*)
Very 'them'.
I loved this line in particular:
“Canada hates me being myself, Benny. It wants me to be Canadian.”
Perfect.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 02:41 pm (UTC)Thank you.
Hee that would make a good icon.
I am glad you enjoyed it.
I do liek that line.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 11:03 am (UTC)It would :-))
I did.
It's a great one.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 08:36 pm (UTC)Oh yes.
Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 10:35 am (UTC)*Looks forward to the next one*
no subject
Date: 2008-01-31 08:03 pm (UTC)Hee.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 01:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 02:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 03:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 07:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 09:00 pm (UTC)Hee! Aww, this was great! :-D
no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 07:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-29 11:08 pm (UTC)Maybe I should drink more maple syrup.”
“You don’t drink maple syrup, Ray. I mean, you can but it’s much better if you...”
Ray interrupted. They’d had the maple syrup talk before.
BWAHAHAHA! Oh God, that is genius!
no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 07:52 am (UTC)He really is *hugs Ray*
Tjank you :-) I'm glad you liked it.
no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 08:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 08:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 12:40 pm (UTC)HA!
no subject
Date: 2008-01-30 08:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 07:10 am (UTC)It's part of the secret plan for world domination that Canada is working on...
Fun and enjoyable...
no subject
Date: 2008-02-03 11:42 am (UTC)Thank you. Glad you liked it.