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ds_flashfiction513 words
“.....mmm--what!”
“......”
“Hello? Hello! Who the hell….”
“.....Ray....”
“Can’t hear you -- who is this?”
“Ray.”
“Fraser? That you? It’s the middle of the--"
“--Ray. Please.”
“Fraser? You okay?.....Fraser? Hello?”
“No....not.”
“You hurt? Fraser--are you hurt?”
“No....well....yes."
"What the hell happened?"
"Dief....went after him…”
“After who? Fraser!”
“Break in.....tried to stop.....had a knife.....”
“Jesus. Jesus. Okay, okay, Frase. Listen to me. Where are you?”
“Phone.....corner of Fourth, near Consulate....”
“All right. Hold on, buddy. Keep holding on. Just gotta use my cellphone to call an ambulance. Just hang on this line. Don’t go anywhere. Got that?......Fraser! Are you with me?”
“Yes....with you.”
“Good. Hold on while I get my--"
“....Ray....don't go. Have to tell you....”
“Just a second, Frase. Just a second, buddy. I’m just putting down this phone for a second while I make the other call. Hear me? Keep breathing for me.”
“....Ray?”
.......
“Ray!”
“.....Right here. I’m back. I’m right here. Got an ambulance coming. I’m coming. Coming to get you, Frase. You hold on there.”
“Don’t have to.....Just wanted to tell you....”
“What do you mean? What the fuck kind of partner do you think I am? ‘Don’t have to,’ Christ.”
“Ray. If. I. Don’t....”
“What do you mean?”
“.............”
“Fraser! Damn it! Speak to me! Are you there?”
“....yes.”
“Good. Good. Greatness. You just stay there and keep breathing for me.”
“Wait. If....I don’t make....”
“No! Shut up, do you hear me? Do you hear me, Fraser? You’re going to--"
“--Just let me. Want to tell you. Need to tell you.”
“Fraser--”
“All this time....never thought...after Ray Vecchio that I...”
“Frase?”
“Ray....have to tell you I l--"
“--Wait! You don’t.....Listen to me. Do not tell me now. Understand?”
“....What?”
“I’m coming. You can tell me then.”
“No.....now. May not--"
“Yes. You will!”
“Please, Ray. Have to tell you. You and I. I feel--“
“Shut up. You have to tell me when you see me, understand? Only. When. You. See. Me. Got it? You can NOT tell me until then.”
“But, Ray....please, I--”
“No! I’m not listening. You have to tell me in person, you hear me, you stubborn Mountie? I won’t let you tell me until then. You can’t tell me until then. That’s an order!”
“That’s....just silly, Ray. You can’t....give me.....orders.”
“Yes, I can, you’re in my fucking city and I give the orders. And I’m ordering you to tell me when you see me.”
“Ray--”
“--I have to hang up the phone now. I’m walking out the door, Fraser, and getting in my car and coming to get you. Got that?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“And you’re going to stay there like a good little Mountie, and keep breathing for me, right?”
“Yes, Ray.”
“And you’re not going anywhere, Constable Fraser. Anywhere. Do you hear me?”
“....”
“Fraser! Answer me! Report!”
“Not....going anywhere."
“Good. All right, then. Hanging up. Be there soon, buddy. Very soon. You tell me then. You tell me everything then.”
“Yes, Ray.”
“Okay. Coming to get you.”
CLICK
Oh God, oh God, oh God, Fraser. I love you too.
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 08:04 am (UTC)You leave us hanging like that? Hmph!
*g*
Seriously, though, you hooked me right from the start. But we *need* to know what happens when Ray gets there.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 08:06 am (UTC)Don't do this to me while I'm at work. I hope you're going to follow up on this, young lady. You'll once again have to answer to my family if I have a heart attack, do you hear me?
Let me warn you, my family holds grudges. I may even have a ninja in the family. Yeah, that's right, a ninja. A Jewish ninja.
This story rocked. It moved fast. It must continue.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 06:18 am (UTC)*lol*
Lovely snippet, btw. Do keep going, eh?
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 08:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 08:45 am (UTC)Wow...Ray totally gets it and he's off to the rescue and oh God this was great and is there going to be a follow-up because I want to know they get out of it okay!
See what you made me do, Shay? You made me write a run-on sentence. *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:28 am (UTC)Or something like that. Thanks, yes, I will, I swear I will continue this. Maybe not in THIS challenge, but I will. Don't bite me.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:30 am (UTC)I love that. Thank you so much for that. As far as helping, you could drive the ambulance. Meanwhile I'm over here at work myself and wrote this before going to a funeral. Dark, much?
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:15 am (UTC)Stay alive, baby...Ray's coming!
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 10:00 am (UTC)FIVE hundred thirteen words.
Five HUNDRED thirteen words.
Five hundred THIRTEEN words
Five hundred thirteen WORDS.
Crap. No way can I make that more. Despite the fact that I'm fairly (read that as 'massively') desperate to know WHAT THE HELL HAPPENS NEXT!
Ahem.
I shall maintain a ladylike demeanor, as I always try to do, and will recline upon my chaise longue with my fan and a very small glass of sherry.
And I shall wait.
And wait.
And wait...
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 10:11 am (UTC)....wait, wait. Just figured out how to use those. Hmmmmmmmmmm.......
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 10:55 am (UTC)Well, I hope you have a wonderful holiday, and find time to finish your wip, as well as this. ::clutching hope to bosom::
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 10:33 am (UTC)In the minority as usual...
Date: 2003-06-04 10:41 am (UTC)Not that I'm saying I don't want to read more of your work (duh!) but I liked the ending as-is. Because Fraser won't give up, it's not in his nature, and Ray *gets it* and ... I likes me the angst, sometimes. Brava, madame.
Re: In the minority as usual...
Date: 2003-06-04 10:58 am (UTC)I loves me the angst, too.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 11:14 am (UTC)...although if you wrote a little more I wouldn't kick it out of bed. ;-)
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 11:50 am (UTC)Even if it was eating crackers?
Thanks so much.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 11:21 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 11:59 am (UTC)Believe me, I'm moving tomorrow and the concept of going on vacation two days after moving is nearly more than I can handle. I would gladly cancel, except I'm Being a Good Girlfriend and the bf is looking forward to this.
But thanks for your comments and for calling me sadistic. That actually warms my heart greatly -- after all, I called myself Cruella DeVil for a year after seeing "101 Dalmations."
And my, isn't your icon just the cutest picture of CKR!
Re:
Date: 2003-06-04 12:04 pm (UTC)Good luck with the move. You can feel good that you're doing something for someone else. And hopefully you'll have a great vacation.
The original picture of Callum is actually for sale on ebay. It's a publicity shot his management company sends out and if I had tons of money to spend I'd buy it. However, $51 seems a little steep even for Callum. If you don't want to go find it on ebay I can send you the original via e-mail.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 12:46 pm (UTC)Entire set of DVDs, Due South.....$69.95.
Cute lil icon of Callum....priceless.
Re:
Date: 2003-06-04 01:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 12:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 12:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 12:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 01:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 01:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 01:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 02:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 12:40 pm (UTC)But the end is near. I have moved! Yay me!
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 12:39 pm (UTC)But it leaves me kind of... unsettled. Worried. Like I need to *know* that Fraser is going to be all right. Like if I could just read the part where he's okay and they finally have that conversation, then everything will be better.
Okay, maybe I got a little bit too wrapped up here. :)
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 12:49 pm (UTC)::smiling indulgently:: Well, maybe just a little...but I'm flattered.
anymore for anymore?
Date: 2003-06-04 03:27 pm (UTC)Re: anymore for anymore?
Date: 2003-06-04 06:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:08 pm (UTC)AAAAAAH! I can't stand it!
I knew you were evil, I just didn't know this would be how I'd find out!
no subject
Date: 2003-06-04 09:11 pm (UTC)Thanks, K!
no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 12:42 am (UTC)Effective dialogue. Great pacing. I thought you left it at a very effective place.... but I still want the happy resolution. Please.
I can see this isn't part of the project we talked about, so I'm kind of torn. I'm looking forward to seeing THAT finished, but also more of this.
Could you please clone yourself? I'd appreciate it.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-05 12:45 pm (UTC)And my liver sends a how-de-do and says "happy to oblige."
Effective dialogue. Great pacing. I thought you left it at a very effective place.... but I still want the happy resolution. Please.
Oh, I don't know. I figure Ray is in such a hurry to rescue Fraser that he runs a stop sign and gets into a horrible accident.
No, no, just kidding. Really. I think.
I can see this isn't part of the project we talked about, so I'm kind of torn. I'm looking forward to seeing THAT finished, but also more of this.
Yeah, since the other is an AU, a lot of backstory would have to change. No - this is separate, but thank you. Twice.
Could you please clone yourself? I'd appreciate it.
Okey-dokey. Will do.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-10 11:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-12 11:49 am (UTC)Thanks, Ces, and I appreciate the thoughts. I never set out to write part of a story with these flashfics -- I'd much rather let the reader fill in the rest.
Besides, as I said to someone above, if I wrote more I'd probably put Ray in a car accident because he's rushing so fast to get there.
Glad you liked it.