I don't know what's wrong with me lately.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Everything turns to angst, and I'm not very pleased with that. But here's 322 words, post-ep Victoria's Secret.




The last four numbers start to blur and he has to blink rapidly in order to finish dialling. He hears the ringing at the other end and he thinks maybe if he hangs up now, if he doesn't have to say it out loud, it won't have happened.

"Hello?"

He tries to speak, and fails. Clears his throat and tries again. "Frannie?"

Silence, then: "What's wrong?"

"It's ... it's Benny. He's ...."

He hears her muttering; the rhythm sounds like the Hail Mary. He lets her finish, there's no hurry for what he needs to say. Maybe it'll help, who knows. He can't really remember any prayers except Please God, let me take it back, and that one's not working.

"How bad?" she says finally, her voice fearful but determined. His eyes fill again -- she would've made a good cop's wife. Just ... not the cop she wants.

"How bad?" she shrieks, and his mouth works but nothing comes out.

The receiver is taken from his hand, and he hears Welsh's voice giving Frannie the details, hears Frannie's tinny responses, but none of it's real.

Please, God, I'll do anything.

"Ray," says Welsh gently, and that's not right, Welsh doesn't talk to him like that, except he is, and nothing's right, never will be, ever again.

"Ray," says Welsh again, and hands him back the phone, "your sister wants to talk to you."

He takes the receiver reluctantly. He can just imagine what she'll have to say to him.

"I'm on my way," is what he hears. "I'm on a plane as fast as I can get to the airport. Faster, maybe."

"It was me, Frannie," he says. Aloud, he thinks. I said it aloud. Now it's real.

"I know," she says. "I'm on my way, Ray. Hang in there."

"Pray for him, Frannie," he whispers.

"For both of you," she says, and hangs up.

Comments

[tobyfan.livejournal.com]

Oooooh. Very nice. I got all choked up. *sniff*

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Yay!

I mean, glad you liked it.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Woah-ee. Angsty, yes, and massively poignant. And Frannie rises to the challenge in a lovely way. Poor Ray. I just know he took the Vegas gig because he never got over the guilt. Nicely done.

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

Oooh, yeah, what Shay said.

I love this Frannie. Can I have more?

[halimede.livejournal.com]

What Lamardeuse said. I love this Frannie too. Strong, and really *her*.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

I love Frannie in general -- I think she gets a bum deal in a lot of stories.

I probably won't continue this piece, though; sorry!

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Thanks, doll. It's good to be appreciated.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Waaah! I want to write *slash*!!!

Heh. Thanks for the comment, jodie.

[akite.livejournal.com]

You can do hot money sex next time, ok? I liked this as is. Love stronge Frannie.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Love the icon -- mmmmmm, Casual!Fraser....

[akite.livejournal.com]

Isn't it lovely? kikala made it for me. I'm so proud of it. ::g::

[kist.livejournal.com]

Oh, lovely post-Victoria's Secret angst. You took me right back to that place where I was at after watching the episode. I liked Ray's desperation and shock. Plus, supportive Frannie worked really well here.

*hiding sniffles at work*

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Thank you, thank you. I was really pleased with this one, despite my previous whining. Glad you liked it.

[murielperun.livejournal.com]

What I liked best was the way you showed Ray's mind working while he's in shock. Everything's moving really slowly because of the guilt and the horror, and yet he's still in denial. He figures everyone will hate him as much as he hates himself at the moment. And Frannie is emotional, but she manages not to blame him. I think you "got" both characters perfectly.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Thanks ever so! Glad you enjoyed it!

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

God! Another story I missed. How did this happen?

Fantastic, hon. Really wonderful.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Hey, you. Thanks. (I missed a couple too, don't feel bad.)

[ardent-muses.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was terrific! Not just the idea, which is a good one, but the writing, which makes me envious:

He can't really remember any prayers except Please God, let me take it back, and that one's not working.


This paragraph hit me like a ton of bricks. Ray's regret absolutely *permeated* the story.

And I like to see Frannie at her best. Go you!

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

This paragraph hit me like a ton of bricks. Ray's regret absolutely *permeated* the story.

::capers madly about the room, giggling::

I teared up a little when I wrote it, I did. Thanks for the stroking, which is always welcome here...

[cesperanza.livejournal.com]

Oh, this is terrific--it never occurred to me that I wanted this behind the scenes view, but I totally do! You wouldn't consider expanding this? Everyone's right--this is an amazing Frannie, and a great Ray V voice besides.

[the-star-fish.livejournal.com]

Wow, thanks. I'm totally psyched that you liked it. As far as expanding, I dunno -- 3 WsIP already languishing ... but this Frannie is kind of growing on me.

::pulls hair out, runs away (after hugging Ces)::

[cesperanza.livejournal.com]

Well, put 'em in line and go at each of them in turn. Better too many bunnies than none, yes?