Penguin challenge by mizface
Oct. 12th, 2009 01:06 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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ds_flashfictionTitle: I Like to Move It
Author: mizface
Fandom: due South
Pairing: Ray/Ray
Rating: G
Prompt: penguin
Word count: 1341
A/N: unbetaed, as I ran out of time. And it’s pretty darn goofy.
“What was that about?” Ray asked as they headed out to the Riv to head home. He was overstuffed as usual – Ma Vecchio had her own personal crusade to put some meat on his bones, like it was a war between his metabolism and her cooking, with him caught in the pasta-and-tomato-sauce-filled crossfire. So if the question came out a little crankier than he’d meant, he figured he had reason.
Vecchio stopped to look at him over the roof of the car. “You think I know?”
“They’re your nieces and nephews.” He backtracked at Vecchio’s glare. “Okay, mine too, by whatsit – assimilation. I’m talking about blood here – your genes, you get to explain them.”
“Related by blood does not mean I can get into their little brains to get how they think,” Vecchio replied as they got into the car. “You’re more on their level of maturity – why can’t you just translate?”
“Translating their mom’s stuff into English was hard enough. And that was just as her fake brother.”
Vecchio chuckled at that. “Yeah, well it wasn’t any easier to figure out Frannie growing up with her, believe you me.”
Ray tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Okay, I’ll give you that one.” He paused. “So you have no idea why up until now I’ve been Uncle K and suddenly I’ve turned into Uncle Penguin?”
Vecchio ducked his head to hide a smile at the name, and Ray bopped the back of his head. “Hey! Serious conversation here.”
Vecchio’s eyes widened at that. “You have got to be kidding me. It’s a name, for crying out loud. A stupid kid nickname. And it isn’t even insulting or anything, just bizarre.”
Ray looked out the window. “Yeah, well maybe I liked being Uncle K. Plus,” he went on, angling his body to partially face Vecchio, “how do you know penguin isn’t an insult?”
“They’re little kids, Kowalski,” Vecchio replied with an exasperated sigh. “They don’t know how to insult yet.”
Ray snorted at that. “Right. Like kids never call each other names. What kind of bizarro world did you grow up in?”
“Okay, so they don’t know how to subtly insult anyone. Come on, they aren’t past the ‘butthead’ and ‘you’re fat and ugly’ stage of insults. If there’s no obvious way for penguin to be mean, then it probably isn’t.”
“Yeah, okay.” Ray turned to face forward, and Vecchio gently touched his knee.
“You really liked them calling you Uncle K, huh?”
Ray shrugged. “I guess I just got used to it. And I can get used to Uncle Penguin too, even if it is way lower on the coolness scale. It’s just really, really weird.”
Vecchio had to agree with that – it was a weird nickname. One that maybe he could find out about without Ray knowing. So once he and Ray were home, he begged off coming in under the pretense of putting the Riv to bed good and proper.
Ray chuckled at that, moving in to kiss him slow and dirty. “Don’t be too long – I’ve got all kinds of bad and improper ways to put you to bed.”
Vecchio kissed him in return, just as slow, just as dirty, then pushed Ray toward the door. “I’ll be up in a minute, and no jokes about anything already being up,” he said, pointing a finger at Ray.
Ray laughed at that and started toward the door. Once he was out of sight, Vecchio got out his cell phone and hit the speed dial. He got lucky; Frannie answered instead of voicemail.
“Got a question for you. You know any reason why your kids think Kowalski is a penguin?”
Frannie laughed. “Because he is one?”
“Oh, okay, that clears it right up for me.”
“Shut up. It’s those animated movies, with the animals shipped from the zoo to Africa. You know which ones I mean?”
Vecchio sighed. “Despite that stellar description, I can’t say that I do.”
He could practically hear her roll her eyes at him. “Well, with Ray as a partner I figured maybe you two kept up on the cartoons. Anyhow, there’s penguins in them.”
“And somehow the penguins remind the kids of Kowalski? What, do they have bad tempers and crazy hair?”
She laughed as she answered. “Better than that. One of them is named Kowalski.”
“You are kidding me.”
“It’s the honest truth. And now there’s even a TV show with just the penguins in it. So Ray should feel honored – they’ve renamed him because of a character in their favorite show.” She sighed. “If it bugs him, just remind him that their attention span isn’t any longer than his – he should be back to being Uncle K in no time.”
“I’ll let him know.” Vecchio shook his head as he thanked Frannie and hung up. Okay, so that explained it. Sort of. At least it gave him something to work with.
Vecchio didn’t bring up the penguin thing to Ray. He did however, find out that the show was on a network they got at home, and what time it was on. Which was why he made sure to have control of the remote (for once) that Friday evening.
“What’s with you and the remote, Vecchio?” Ray asked as he sat next to Vecchio on the couch.
“Maybe I’m tired of watching you channel surf through every commercial break.”
“I always get back before the commercials are done, so what does it matter?” And he did, Vecchio couldn’t argue that. It was kind of eerie how in tune Ray was with the TV, changing back just as the last commercial would end. But he just replied, “There’s something on I want to watch tonight. That okay with you?”
Ray looked at him like he knew something was up, but he just shrugged. “Whatever. It’s your house too.”
Vecchio kept it on the news channel until it was nearly time, then switched over, unfortunately just in time to see the last few minutes of SpongeBob SquarePants. He would never understand why kids liked the guy so much. As Ray laughed at the cartoon, he amended that to include adults who didn’t realize they weren’t kids anymore.
As SpongeBob mercifully came to an end, Ray looked over at Vecchio, obviously confused. “There’s something on this channel that you want to watch.”
“Yeah, so what?”
“You’re voluntarily watching cartoons? Are the kids coming over and you forgot to tell me?”
Vecchio sighed. “There’s supposed to be something educational on next. Just watch and learn.”
Ray shook his head at that. “O-kay.” He stared at Vecchio for a long moment, then leaned back to look behind the couch.
“What are you doing, Stanley?”
Ray looked under the coffee table before settling back, scooting closer to Vecchio. “Just checking for pod people stuff.”
And then the opening credits started. Kowalski started to say something, but Vecchio shushed him and pointed at the screen, which got him a glare. All four penguins were named, and there it was, in big, bold letters – Kowalski. Vecchio could feel Ray looking at him, and turned to give him a slightly smug, Understand now? look.
Ray sat there for a few seconds. “So you did know.”
Vecchio shook his head. “Not until later. Frannie says you should feel honored, by the way, since this is their favorite show.”
That seemed to satisfy Ray and he settled back to watch, sliding his arm across the back of the sofa to rest on Vecchio’s shoulders. The show turned out to be kind of funny, and Kowalski was the smart, sane one of the bunch, which pleased Ray to no end. Vecchio was quick to remind him that the kids didn’t know him well enough to know better, and not to get a swelled head about it, which Ray took an entirely different, but overall good way, and cartoon penguins were forgotten altogether.
At least until Christmas, when a plush Kowalski penguin somehow ended up in Ray’s stocking.
Author: mizface
Fandom: due South
Pairing: Ray/Ray
Rating: G
Prompt: penguin
Word count: 1341
A/N: unbetaed, as I ran out of time. And it’s pretty darn goofy.
“What was that about?” Ray asked as they headed out to the Riv to head home. He was overstuffed as usual – Ma Vecchio had her own personal crusade to put some meat on his bones, like it was a war between his metabolism and her cooking, with him caught in the pasta-and-tomato-sauce-filled crossfire. So if the question came out a little crankier than he’d meant, he figured he had reason.
Vecchio stopped to look at him over the roof of the car. “You think I know?”
“They’re your nieces and nephews.” He backtracked at Vecchio’s glare. “Okay, mine too, by whatsit – assimilation. I’m talking about blood here – your genes, you get to explain them.”
“Related by blood does not mean I can get into their little brains to get how they think,” Vecchio replied as they got into the car. “You’re more on their level of maturity – why can’t you just translate?”
“Translating their mom’s stuff into English was hard enough. And that was just as her fake brother.”
Vecchio chuckled at that. “Yeah, well it wasn’t any easier to figure out Frannie growing up with her, believe you me.”
Ray tilted his head in acknowledgement. “Okay, I’ll give you that one.” He paused. “So you have no idea why up until now I’ve been Uncle K and suddenly I’ve turned into Uncle Penguin?”
Vecchio ducked his head to hide a smile at the name, and Ray bopped the back of his head. “Hey! Serious conversation here.”
Vecchio’s eyes widened at that. “You have got to be kidding me. It’s a name, for crying out loud. A stupid kid nickname. And it isn’t even insulting or anything, just bizarre.”
Ray looked out the window. “Yeah, well maybe I liked being Uncle K. Plus,” he went on, angling his body to partially face Vecchio, “how do you know penguin isn’t an insult?”
“They’re little kids, Kowalski,” Vecchio replied with an exasperated sigh. “They don’t know how to insult yet.”
Ray snorted at that. “Right. Like kids never call each other names. What kind of bizarro world did you grow up in?”
“Okay, so they don’t know how to subtly insult anyone. Come on, they aren’t past the ‘butthead’ and ‘you’re fat and ugly’ stage of insults. If there’s no obvious way for penguin to be mean, then it probably isn’t.”
“Yeah, okay.” Ray turned to face forward, and Vecchio gently touched his knee.
“You really liked them calling you Uncle K, huh?”
Ray shrugged. “I guess I just got used to it. And I can get used to Uncle Penguin too, even if it is way lower on the coolness scale. It’s just really, really weird.”
Vecchio had to agree with that – it was a weird nickname. One that maybe he could find out about without Ray knowing. So once he and Ray were home, he begged off coming in under the pretense of putting the Riv to bed good and proper.
Ray chuckled at that, moving in to kiss him slow and dirty. “Don’t be too long – I’ve got all kinds of bad and improper ways to put you to bed.”
Vecchio kissed him in return, just as slow, just as dirty, then pushed Ray toward the door. “I’ll be up in a minute, and no jokes about anything already being up,” he said, pointing a finger at Ray.
Ray laughed at that and started toward the door. Once he was out of sight, Vecchio got out his cell phone and hit the speed dial. He got lucky; Frannie answered instead of voicemail.
“Got a question for you. You know any reason why your kids think Kowalski is a penguin?”
Frannie laughed. “Because he is one?”
“Oh, okay, that clears it right up for me.”
“Shut up. It’s those animated movies, with the animals shipped from the zoo to Africa. You know which ones I mean?”
Vecchio sighed. “Despite that stellar description, I can’t say that I do.”
He could practically hear her roll her eyes at him. “Well, with Ray as a partner I figured maybe you two kept up on the cartoons. Anyhow, there’s penguins in them.”
“And somehow the penguins remind the kids of Kowalski? What, do they have bad tempers and crazy hair?”
She laughed as she answered. “Better than that. One of them is named Kowalski.”
“You are kidding me.”
“It’s the honest truth. And now there’s even a TV show with just the penguins in it. So Ray should feel honored – they’ve renamed him because of a character in their favorite show.” She sighed. “If it bugs him, just remind him that their attention span isn’t any longer than his – he should be back to being Uncle K in no time.”
“I’ll let him know.” Vecchio shook his head as he thanked Frannie and hung up. Okay, so that explained it. Sort of. At least it gave him something to work with.
Vecchio didn’t bring up the penguin thing to Ray. He did however, find out that the show was on a network they got at home, and what time it was on. Which was why he made sure to have control of the remote (for once) that Friday evening.
“What’s with you and the remote, Vecchio?” Ray asked as he sat next to Vecchio on the couch.
“Maybe I’m tired of watching you channel surf through every commercial break.”
“I always get back before the commercials are done, so what does it matter?” And he did, Vecchio couldn’t argue that. It was kind of eerie how in tune Ray was with the TV, changing back just as the last commercial would end. But he just replied, “There’s something on I want to watch tonight. That okay with you?”
Ray looked at him like he knew something was up, but he just shrugged. “Whatever. It’s your house too.”
Vecchio kept it on the news channel until it was nearly time, then switched over, unfortunately just in time to see the last few minutes of SpongeBob SquarePants. He would never understand why kids liked the guy so much. As Ray laughed at the cartoon, he amended that to include adults who didn’t realize they weren’t kids anymore.
As SpongeBob mercifully came to an end, Ray looked over at Vecchio, obviously confused. “There’s something on this channel that you want to watch.”
“Yeah, so what?”
“You’re voluntarily watching cartoons? Are the kids coming over and you forgot to tell me?”
Vecchio sighed. “There’s supposed to be something educational on next. Just watch and learn.”
Ray shook his head at that. “O-kay.” He stared at Vecchio for a long moment, then leaned back to look behind the couch.
“What are you doing, Stanley?”
Ray looked under the coffee table before settling back, scooting closer to Vecchio. “Just checking for pod people stuff.”
And then the opening credits started. Kowalski started to say something, but Vecchio shushed him and pointed at the screen, which got him a glare. All four penguins were named, and there it was, in big, bold letters – Kowalski. Vecchio could feel Ray looking at him, and turned to give him a slightly smug, Understand now? look.
Ray sat there for a few seconds. “So you did know.”
Vecchio shook his head. “Not until later. Frannie says you should feel honored, by the way, since this is their favorite show.”
That seemed to satisfy Ray and he settled back to watch, sliding his arm across the back of the sofa to rest on Vecchio’s shoulders. The show turned out to be kind of funny, and Kowalski was the smart, sane one of the bunch, which pleased Ray to no end. Vecchio was quick to remind him that the kids didn’t know him well enough to know better, and not to get a swelled head about it, which Ray took an entirely different, but overall good way, and cartoon penguins were forgotten altogether.
At least until Christmas, when a plush Kowalski penguin somehow ended up in Ray’s stocking.
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no subject
Date: 2009-10-12 05:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-12 06:38 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading!
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Date: 2009-10-12 06:08 pm (UTC)/capslock
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Date: 2009-10-12 06:36 pm (UTC)And I want a stuffed Kowalski penguin like you would NOT believe - I have since I saw Madagascar the First.
Thanks for reading!
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Date: 2009-10-12 07:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-12 11:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-12 09:03 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-12 11:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-12 11:32 pm (UTC)(And my son's most deadly insult is, "You're a stinky!" *g*)
no subject
Date: 2009-10-12 11:36 pm (UTC)My daughter's newest insult is "bottomhead" (like I don't know bottom and butt are the same thing). My son has been quiet on the insult front lately, but used to be very creative about them. My favorite that he came up with (and no explanation, so don't ask) was "bananaskin"
no subject
Date: 2009-10-13 07:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-13 04:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-17 05:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-17 10:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-18 02:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-20 02:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-20 01:44 am (UTC)um. I might be a leeeettle bit obsessed with the Penguins of Madagascar.
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Date: 2009-10-23 03:29 am (UTC)So Yay you for picking up on it right away!!
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Date: 2009-10-23 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-23 08:47 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading!
comment - I like to move it
Date: 2009-12-09 12:41 am (UTC)I enjoyed that, and I'm not even a Ray/Ray person. Nicely done!
Re: comment - I like to move it
Date: 2009-12-10 12:14 am (UTC)And oh my there's LOTS of great Ray/Ray stuff out there, truly. I was initially an F/K only gal, and have branched out quite a bit due (you may have noticed, given my love of your story) to the great writing of other pairings.
If you're interested, I'd suggest perusing <"lj user-ds_raysquared"> to start!
Re: comment - I like to move it
Date: 2009-12-11 05:52 pm (UTC)Raysquared is made of awesome. I've been wandering along reading fic here and there. Now I'm, well, *cough* um, you know....hooked.
*points finger* You are evil. thank you
Re: comment - I like to move it
Date: 2009-12-11 06:43 pm (UTC)Raysquared is AWESOME, and there can never be too many ships to sail! The Rays are made of snark and banter and love.
You are very welcome. :)