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ds_flashfictionAuthor:
writedragon Pairing: Fraser/RayK
Characters/Tags: Fraser, RayK; humor
Rating: T
Word Count: 305
Summary: Ray's been cheating on his diet.
Warnings: No warnings apply
Fraser crosses the cabin floor in three short strides, a determined look on his face. He stands over Ray, who is sitting in his favorite chair, reading a book on snowmobile maintenance.
“Ray, I thought you had agreed to follow your doctor’s advice and cut your sugar intake. I have reason to suspect that you’ve been disobeying her instructions.”
Ray puts the book down and looks up at Fraser with an innocent expression.
“Prove it.”
“I found Rockets and Smarties wrappers in the pocket of your housecoat in the washroom.”
“Speak American, Fraser.”
“I found these candy wrappers,” he holds out the incriminating evidence in his palm, “in your bathrobe pockets, which is not only cheating, it’s untidy and potentially unsafe for the dogs.”
“Better. But knock it off with the scolding, Frase, willya? I don’t need that crap from anybody, least of all you.”
“I scold because I care. I want you to live a long and healthy life.”
“I’d live a lot longer if you’d quit stressing me out.”
“Are you in need of some stress relief, Ray?” Fraser cocks an eyebrow suggestively.
“...?”
“If so, I have something sugar-free, firm, and delicious you might find helpful.”
“Oh yeah? And what would that be?” Ray rakes his eyes downward and stares at Fraser’s crotch for a second, then looks back up at his face.
“Here. Please enjoy this fresh, crisp stalk of celery. I understand that the chewing motion required to eat it helps reduce levels of stress chemicals in the brain. ”
“Take your celery and shove it where the sun don’t shine, Fraser.”
“Speak Canadian, Ray.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, please excuse me your highness. I appreciate the offer of a fresh vegetable but I am not interested at this time.”
“Much better.”
“Fuck you, Fraser.”
“If you insist.”
THE END
no subject
Date: 2019-01-21 11:37 pm (UTC)I especially <3 the "speak American" and "speak Canadian" interchanges...and the double entendre of the concluding sentences!
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Date: 2019-01-22 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-21 11:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-22 01:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-24 11:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-01-24 11:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-02-13 03:20 am (UTC)Also, I do like celery and now I would like a piece. :)
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Date: 2019-02-13 03:33 am (UTC)