ds_flashfiction | Video Game Challenge: "Mario Party in Canada" by seleneheart

Title: Mario Party in Canada
Author:

seleneheart
Rating: T
Word count: 560
Notes/Warnings: The first Mario Party game came out in 1998
Summary: When the CPU kidnaps you, the only way out is through

“Why the fuck am I the princess?” Ray shouts, tugging his suddenly long blond hair.

Fraser glances down at his uniform, which has morphed into blue suspenders and a red shirt, with his body appearing to carry considerably more . . . girth.

“Princess Peach is quite an accomplished brawler in her own right, as you well know, Ray,” he said absently, running his fingers over his face to feel the differences. He encounters quite a luxuriant growth of hair on his upper lip. “Besides with your slender frame and coloring, pink looks quite fetching on you.”

“I fucking hate you,” Ray snarls.

A distressed whimper interrupts what is shaping up to be a damaging fracas. Fraser and Ray spin around, confronted by a small green creature that seems to be a mutated frog or perhaps a cartoon dinosaur wearing shoes.

“Dief?” Fraser whispers, incredulous.

The now-green wolf, whines and covers his snout with a paw, a gesture Fraser knows indicates exasperation with whatever current situation in which they find themselves embroiled.

“Okay, I take it back,” Ray proclaims. “I’m fine with being Peach!” He tips his head back and yells, “You hear that! Whoeverthefuck got us into this mess.”

“Ray, I hardly think the CPU is going to take your opinion into account, given that we are here entirely against our wills.”

“So now what?”

“I confess that I’m not completely familiar with this game,” Fraser says, well aware that Ray sneaks off to the community center and indulges himself with the village teenagers in this particular pursuit. “How does one win it?”

“Hmm,” Rays murmurs, twirling his long, blond hair around his finger in a manner which Fraser finds entirely distracting.

“We could battle each other, but I’m not sure what happens if one of us beats the other, and I’d rather not find out. So we’ll have to play co-op.”

“Co-op?”

“Yeah, you know. We team up and play against the computer. The CPU whosits.”

“How does that work?”

“They’ll be random mooks for us to battle.”

“I’m not sure I like those odds, Ray. Computers rarely make mistakes.”

“No, you see, that’s just it. We can beat the computer, anybody can. But you ‘n me, Frase, we’ve got an edge. We’re used to fighting together, reading each other. We got this. We’ll play the levels, get the stars, and get the fuck out of here.”

Fraser considers Ray’s logic and cannot find fault with it.

Beside him, the wolf mutters a protest.

“Yes, I’m aware that Yoshi is the weakest character, Diefenbaker. You have superior battle experience and intellect to compensate for lack of XP.”

“Summon a Fire Flower, Frase,” Ray suggests.

“How?”

Ray extends his hand and a parasol appears in it. “Just think about it. It’ll throw fireballs.”

Fraser held out his hand, only to find a red and orange flower with a . . . “It has a face!”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it.” He hefts the parasol. “Let’s get at ‘er.”

As Ray swings the parasol with a flourish, the dress swirls around him, highlighting the delicate arch of his collarbones and bringing a softness to his sharp features. Fraser wonders if Ray would be opposed to introducing Princess Peach to Miss Fraser, once they extricate themselves from their current difficulties.

After all, variety is the key spice in any relationship.