Documentation challenge response
Jun. 16th, 2003 09:28 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
lmondegreen.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionAck. This one's been sitting as an outline on my computer for a couple of years now. It's friggin' dark (possible death story, depending on your point of view), it's an AU, and it's about 960 words. Also, it's un-betaed. It's not the pairing I normally write (or even read), but hey, that's what challenges are for, right?
Dear Benny,
Christ, what am I doing? First week on the job and I'm already practically blowing my cover here. They get one whiff of this, they get the idea I'm not who they think I am, I'll be dead before you can say 'even Steven'. Yeah, but I'm writing anyway, right? I guess I just can't stop thinking about you, cold turkey, like I thought I could. It's not something I can turn on and off, even if I wanted to. Which I don't. I don't want to forget you at all, Benny, but now that I'm finally here in Vegas it feels like you're a million miles away from me.
I guess you're back in Chicago by now. You'll probably have noticed I'm not myself anymore. Wish I could have told you. God, Benny, that phone call! Wish I could have told you a lot of things. But that's not something you can do over the phone, is it? Not with Welsh standing right there. Over the phone, that's not the way to start anything, even if you'd wanted to, which I'm pretty damned sure you wouldn't. 'As a friend'. Got that loud and clear.
Damn, Benny, I miss you already. I've only been gone a week, but you were gone for two weeks before that. I said goodbye to you when you left; I think I knew, even then, that it'd be for a lot longer than you thought. Wish you hadn't taken the train, though.
Hope you had a good holiday.
Ray
****************************
Dear Benny,
Hope you're having fun with me, whoever the hell I am now. Does he even look like me? Tell me he's Italian, at least. Does he help Ma out at all? Or keep Frannie out of trouble? You know what, forget it. I don't want to know. Besides, that's what you're there for, keep people out of trouble. Except maybe yourself. And me, come to think of it.
Wish you were keeping me out of trouble right about now.
Can't believe some of the stuff they want me to do out here. Stuff I gotta do to keep my cover. I need you, Benny. Need you to help me out, keep me safe, keep me clean. My soul's pretty dirty right about now. Maybe when I get back we'll go up north again. Maybe we'll actually get there, this time. Find some of that fresh snow you like so much. Maybe we can try to wash my soul with it.
Geez, I can't believe I'm writing this crap. I need a drink. I need to get laid.
I need you.
Ray
*********************************
Dear Benny,
I'm going fucking nuts, you know that?
I really, really shouldn't be writing these letters, but I can't seem to stop. I keep them hidden away in a locked box; the guys think it's some kind of weapon I don't want them knowing about. Except Nero - I think he thinks it's drugs. I guess he figures that with a schnoz like mine, I'd need a big metal box to keep my blow in.
It's almost Christmas. Not that you could tell, around here; no snow on the ground, and neon lights make piss-poor tree decorations. Only Santas I've seen were wearing red sequins. Kind of made me think of Louis and those Elvis impersonators.
Did Huey get another partner yet?
Hope you're keeping your nose out of trouble this year. No more bank robbers, right?
I can't get you anything, Benny. Sorry. But when I get back, I promise, I'll shower you with gifts. Or kisses. Or whatever the fuck you want.
Merry Christmas, Benny.
Ray
****************************
I had a dream about you last night, Benny. About us, actually. We were in that rat trap you call an apartment. The windows were open, and it was hot as hell, and there was the sound of sirens and gunshots and Dief snoring. But we didn't hear any of it. We were making our own noises, our own heat, on your bed. You were on your back, naked and spread out for me, and you were making these little panting sounds as I was sucking your cock.
Do you make noise when you come? Do you close your eyes? Bite that lower lip of yours? Would you whisper my name?
Ray
****************************
Dear Benny,
I'm starting to think maybe it'd be a good thing if I didn't come back. If you never got to see the person I've become. You like pretty much every one you meet, Benny, but I don't think you'd like Armondo very much. I sure as hell don't.
I know what you'd say - that I'm doing a job, that everything's for a good cause. That I'm helping others by being a scumbag. That doesn't make me sleep any easier.
I think they suspect something. I don't think they know I'm a cop - I wouldn't be alive to write this if they did - but I've seen them looking at me. They're gonna want me to prove myself again, Benny, and I don't think I can handle much more of that. Armondo's got a thing for the ladies, you see. He likes ladies a lot. He likes them too much, actually.
I can't go back and see the look in your eyes when you know what I've had to do out here.
Ray Vecchio likes the ladies, too. But he loves you.
Ray
****************************
Marcy Winston folded up the last of the letters she'd found in the trash bin, and placed them safely in her housekeeping cart. She took a Kleenex out of her pocket and blew her nose, then took a shaky breath and kneeled down to clean the blood off the hotel room carpet.
Dear Benny,
Christ, what am I doing? First week on the job and I'm already practically blowing my cover here. They get one whiff of this, they get the idea I'm not who they think I am, I'll be dead before you can say 'even Steven'. Yeah, but I'm writing anyway, right? I guess I just can't stop thinking about you, cold turkey, like I thought I could. It's not something I can turn on and off, even if I wanted to. Which I don't. I don't want to forget you at all, Benny, but now that I'm finally here in Vegas it feels like you're a million miles away from me.
I guess you're back in Chicago by now. You'll probably have noticed I'm not myself anymore. Wish I could have told you. God, Benny, that phone call! Wish I could have told you a lot of things. But that's not something you can do over the phone, is it? Not with Welsh standing right there. Over the phone, that's not the way to start anything, even if you'd wanted to, which I'm pretty damned sure you wouldn't. 'As a friend'. Got that loud and clear.
Damn, Benny, I miss you already. I've only been gone a week, but you were gone for two weeks before that. I said goodbye to you when you left; I think I knew, even then, that it'd be for a lot longer than you thought. Wish you hadn't taken the train, though.
Hope you had a good holiday.
Ray
****************************
Dear Benny,
Hope you're having fun with me, whoever the hell I am now. Does he even look like me? Tell me he's Italian, at least. Does he help Ma out at all? Or keep Frannie out of trouble? You know what, forget it. I don't want to know. Besides, that's what you're there for, keep people out of trouble. Except maybe yourself. And me, come to think of it.
Wish you were keeping me out of trouble right about now.
Can't believe some of the stuff they want me to do out here. Stuff I gotta do to keep my cover. I need you, Benny. Need you to help me out, keep me safe, keep me clean. My soul's pretty dirty right about now. Maybe when I get back we'll go up north again. Maybe we'll actually get there, this time. Find some of that fresh snow you like so much. Maybe we can try to wash my soul with it.
Geez, I can't believe I'm writing this crap. I need a drink. I need to get laid.
I need you.
Ray
*********************************
Dear Benny,
I'm going fucking nuts, you know that?
I really, really shouldn't be writing these letters, but I can't seem to stop. I keep them hidden away in a locked box; the guys think it's some kind of weapon I don't want them knowing about. Except Nero - I think he thinks it's drugs. I guess he figures that with a schnoz like mine, I'd need a big metal box to keep my blow in.
It's almost Christmas. Not that you could tell, around here; no snow on the ground, and neon lights make piss-poor tree decorations. Only Santas I've seen were wearing red sequins. Kind of made me think of Louis and those Elvis impersonators.
Did Huey get another partner yet?
Hope you're keeping your nose out of trouble this year. No more bank robbers, right?
I can't get you anything, Benny. Sorry. But when I get back, I promise, I'll shower you with gifts. Or kisses. Or whatever the fuck you want.
Merry Christmas, Benny.
Ray
****************************
I had a dream about you last night, Benny. About us, actually. We were in that rat trap you call an apartment. The windows were open, and it was hot as hell, and there was the sound of sirens and gunshots and Dief snoring. But we didn't hear any of it. We were making our own noises, our own heat, on your bed. You were on your back, naked and spread out for me, and you were making these little panting sounds as I was sucking your cock.
Do you make noise when you come? Do you close your eyes? Bite that lower lip of yours? Would you whisper my name?
Ray
****************************
Dear Benny,
I'm starting to think maybe it'd be a good thing if I didn't come back. If you never got to see the person I've become. You like pretty much every one you meet, Benny, but I don't think you'd like Armondo very much. I sure as hell don't.
I know what you'd say - that I'm doing a job, that everything's for a good cause. That I'm helping others by being a scumbag. That doesn't make me sleep any easier.
I think they suspect something. I don't think they know I'm a cop - I wouldn't be alive to write this if they did - but I've seen them looking at me. They're gonna want me to prove myself again, Benny, and I don't think I can handle much more of that. Armondo's got a thing for the ladies, you see. He likes ladies a lot. He likes them too much, actually.
I can't go back and see the look in your eyes when you know what I've had to do out here.
Ray Vecchio likes the ladies, too. But he loves you.
Ray
****************************
Marcy Winston folded up the last of the letters she'd found in the trash bin, and placed them safely in her housekeeping cart. She took a Kleenex out of her pocket and blew her nose, then took a shaky breath and kneeled down to clean the blood off the hotel room carpet.
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-16 08:07 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-17 06:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-16 09:57 pm (UTC)This was a beautiful, dark piece. Brava.
Re:
Date: 2003-06-17 06:42 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-17 06:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-17 06:20 am (UTC)Geez, I can't believe I'm writing this crap. I need a drink. I need to get laid.
I need you.
Thanks for posting it.
Re:
Date: 2003-06-17 06:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-17 06:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-17 07:28 am (UTC)Excellent work. Thank you for posting it.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-17 05:02 pm (UTC)Nice job.
no subject
Date: 2003-06-17 05:22 pm (UTC)Geez, I can't believe I'm writing this crap. I need a drink. I need to get laid.
Holy moly. Wow. I'm speechless. And depressed as hell. You have a *gift*! *g*
no subject
Date: 2003-06-18 12:12 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-18 04:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-19 02:15 pm (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-19 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-30 06:34 am (UTC)Re:
Date: 2003-06-30 08:59 am (UTC)