Because Thursday is expense report day
Jun. 19th, 2003 12:12 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
jenboo.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionand because I'm in a very weird mood, here's my second entry in the documentation challenge.
Fraser stared at the final item on Ray’s expense report for his latest undercover job with amazement. Should he question it or let it go? He told himself it was for Ray’s protection that he wanted to ask about it, not for any personal curiosity.
The clothing items on the report were certainly within the allowable standards of the policies, given that Ray had obviously had to purchase them in order to dress appropriately for the assignment. However Fraser wasn’t sure that a personal item such as *that* could be reimbursed.
“Hey, Frase, you finished checking the math on my report? I gotta turn it in to Welsh when I get back from lunch.”
“Ray, may I ask what the assignment was? There are some unusual items on this report. I would hate for your reimbursement to be delayed because there were claims that would be rejected by the Payables Department.”
Ray pulled the top of the printed spreadsheet down so he could look into Fraser’s face. “You talking about the bottle of lube?”
Fraser cleared his throat, blushing, and replied, “Well, Ray, you have to admit that claiming personal lubricant on an expense report is rather out of the ordinary. In addition, the clothing you purchased would seem to be too small for you, Ray. I would guess that you normally wear a Medium and the shirts are sized Small according to the receipt.”
Ray chuckled at the fact that the Mountie was blushing over a little bottle of lube. “I was sent in to check out a guy running a jerk-off website. He apparently had a lot of twinks on his roster, so he was under suspicion of child pornography. I ended up finding three guys that were sixteen, which is under the age of consent. We shut him down. Anyway, I went down there and applied for a job as one of his stars so I could check the place out. I figured I should show up prepared to show him my stuff, if you get what I mean.”
If possible, Fraser turned even redder. “Ah, I see. Did you?”
“What? Show ‘em my stuff?” Ray shrugged. “I had to audition for him. Good thing I hadn’t gotten laid in a dog’s age. And there were plenty of pretty boys to look at to get me through it.”
Ben’s eyes widened and stammered, then took a deep breath, getting himself under control. “Ray, are you saying that you masturbated in a room full of men and enjoyed looking at them while you did it?”
“Well, I actually had my eyes closed most of the time. There was one guy, not too tall with dark brown hair and blue eyes, smooth chest. I took one look at him, then closed my eyes and went to town.” Ray watched Fraser’s face as the implications of his brief description of the man dawned on Ben.
Fraser took a deep breath and set the printed report on Ray’s table. “Since you’re being reimbursed for your expenses, I assume you will be keeping the items on this list?”
“You bet, Frase. It’s not every day I get to expense a bottle of my favorite lube.” Ray let out the grin he’d been fighting for the last few minutes.
“Ray?” Ben asked, grinning just as widely.
“Yeah, Frase.”
“Would you care to participate in an exercise of brand comparison?”
Fraser stared at the final item on Ray’s expense report for his latest undercover job with amazement. Should he question it or let it go? He told himself it was for Ray’s protection that he wanted to ask about it, not for any personal curiosity.
The clothing items on the report were certainly within the allowable standards of the policies, given that Ray had obviously had to purchase them in order to dress appropriately for the assignment. However Fraser wasn’t sure that a personal item such as *that* could be reimbursed.
“Hey, Frase, you finished checking the math on my report? I gotta turn it in to Welsh when I get back from lunch.”
“Ray, may I ask what the assignment was? There are some unusual items on this report. I would hate for your reimbursement to be delayed because there were claims that would be rejected by the Payables Department.”
Ray pulled the top of the printed spreadsheet down so he could look into Fraser’s face. “You talking about the bottle of lube?”
Fraser cleared his throat, blushing, and replied, “Well, Ray, you have to admit that claiming personal lubricant on an expense report is rather out of the ordinary. In addition, the clothing you purchased would seem to be too small for you, Ray. I would guess that you normally wear a Medium and the shirts are sized Small according to the receipt.”
Ray chuckled at the fact that the Mountie was blushing over a little bottle of lube. “I was sent in to check out a guy running a jerk-off website. He apparently had a lot of twinks on his roster, so he was under suspicion of child pornography. I ended up finding three guys that were sixteen, which is under the age of consent. We shut him down. Anyway, I went down there and applied for a job as one of his stars so I could check the place out. I figured I should show up prepared to show him my stuff, if you get what I mean.”
If possible, Fraser turned even redder. “Ah, I see. Did you?”
“What? Show ‘em my stuff?” Ray shrugged. “I had to audition for him. Good thing I hadn’t gotten laid in a dog’s age. And there were plenty of pretty boys to look at to get me through it.”
Ben’s eyes widened and stammered, then took a deep breath, getting himself under control. “Ray, are you saying that you masturbated in a room full of men and enjoyed looking at them while you did it?”
“Well, I actually had my eyes closed most of the time. There was one guy, not too tall with dark brown hair and blue eyes, smooth chest. I took one look at him, then closed my eyes and went to town.” Ray watched Fraser’s face as the implications of his brief description of the man dawned on Ben.
Fraser took a deep breath and set the printed report on Ray’s table. “Since you’re being reimbursed for your expenses, I assume you will be keeping the items on this list?”
“You bet, Frase. It’s not every day I get to expense a bottle of my favorite lube.” Ray let out the grin he’d been fighting for the last few minutes.
“Ray?” Ben asked, grinning just as widely.
“Yeah, Frase.”
“Would you care to participate in an exercise of brand comparison?”
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no subject
Date: 2003-06-19 12:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 09:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 09:32 am (UTC)Ray was soooo setting him up. "Hey, Frase, will you look at my expense report?" Like it doesn't do the math for him...
God, I'm an accounting geek...
no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 09:32 am (UTC)And you know Ray was all over the research. :o)
Glad you liked it. Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2003-06-19 01:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 09:34 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-19 02:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 09:35 am (UTC)And how appropriate that you use a QAF icon since the 'case' was inspired by Ted's little run-in with the law this season.
Must remember to set VCR to record QAF Sunday night, since I will be out of town and it's the season finale!
no subject
Date: 2003-06-19 11:17 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 09:37 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-20 09:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-06-21 12:42 am (UTC)Ah well. A girl can dream. ;)
A very funny and clever idea!