While You Were Out II

[helvirago]

I don't have very many original ideas, I'm afraid. So here's a complete rehash of my last story. 656 words. Man, bethbethbeth beat me to it! Plus totally showed me up in the formatting department. So a little last-minute editing...

To: Ray
M: Frase
Called
Re: Dief

Real sorry about Dief. How much $ to fix?
In mtgs w/ bulging ambssdr all day.

-Francesca
**************************************************************************************
To: Corporal Benton Fraser
M: Detective Raymond Vecchio (blond)
Called
Returned Your Call
Please Call
Re: Diefenbaker

Detective Vecchio wished me to forward the following two (2)
inquiries, firstly "Dief or carpet?" and second "Belgium or Bulgaria?"

He also wished to inform you that he will be away from his desk
a great deal due to some bucolic bulls (I may have misheard,
but was unable to question Det. Vecchio as he had already
disconnected).

-Corporal Renfield Turnbull
**************************************************************************************
From the desk of Detective Jack Huey
Vecchio,

Fraser called. He gets that you're upset and he's real sorry.
The wolf's real sorry too -- Fraser won't bring him to your place
anymore. He's off donuts.* He* wants you to reconsider, it
won't happen again.

-Jack
*The wolf *Fraser
**************************************************************************************
From the desk of Detective Jack Huey
Vecchio,

He said something about waffles, too.
Also, when you're back from HR the Lieu. wants you.
**************************************************************************************
To: Corporal Benton Fraser
M: Detective Raymond Vecchio (the same Detective Vecchio who called earlier today)
Called
Returned Your Call
Please Call
Re: Diefenbaker

Detective Vecchio was confused by your most recent phone message and would
like clarification as to "[w]hat ... [you were] talking about".

-Corporal Renfield Turnbull
**************************************************************************************
To: Ray
M: Frase
Called
Re: incident

Dief v. sorry. Frase v. sorry. No more pumpkn donuts. How much $?

-F.V.
**************************************************************************************
To: Cpl Fraser
M: Det. Vecchio
Re:

Forget carpet; mad not abt carpet but timing. What waffles? Get
a newspaper for the ambassador. There should be a place in
Evanston.

-Insp. MT
**************************************************************************************
Inspector Thatcher,

I'm afraid I don't understand the question about waffles. Also,
what sort of newspaper would the Ambassador like?

-Benton Fraser
**************************************************************************************
The Canadian Consulate
Consulat du Canada
BF-

Waffles --> detective.
Something from Belgium!

-MT
**************************************************************************************
To: Vecchio
M: Fraser
Re: Canadian food

The Corporal had a question about timing, and another about waffles.

Also, if you can tear the time away from the waffles, I need that form.

-Welsh
**************************************************************************************
To: Corporal Benton Fraser
M: s. Francesca Vecchio
Re: Detective Raymond Vecchio
Called

Ms. Vecchio relays that Detective Vecchio was confused by your most
recent message.

-Corporal Renfield Turnbull
**************************************************************************************
To: Ray Vecchio
M: Fraser
Re:
Returned Your Call

"What timing? What waffles?"

This isn't my job, Ray. Why don't we have voice mail?

-Elaine
**************************************************************************************
To: Corporal Benton Fraser
M: Detective Raymond Vecchio (as previously)
Re: Your call
Called
Returned Your Call
Please Call

Detective Vecchio called to reply to your most recent message.
He wished me to convey that you were the first to mention
waffles and that he is quite confused as to why you might
wish to discuss "breakfast pasties."

He also wished to clarify his most recent message in that (cont.)

-Corporal Renfield Turnbull
**************************************************************************************
To: Corporal Benton Fraser
M: Detective Raymond Vecchio (as above)
Called
Returned Your Call
Please Call
Re: (See above)

(Continued from previous message) he was under the impression
you had been intending to convey information about water rescue
techniques prior to the incident. (I offered to answer his questions,
but he seemed adamant about speaking with you. Please assure
the detective that I am well-trained in water safety.)

-Corporal Renfield Turnbull
**************************************************************************************
To: Ray
M: Guess
Re: water

F says: you were looking forward to lesson?

I thought you didn't like school. If it's something
I can help him with, let me know. And stop getting
me in trouble with Elaine for taking a small break, okay?

-Francesca
**************************************************************************************
To: F
M: Vecchio
Re:

"Very much so, yes."
Don't let Turnbull talk to ambassador!!!

-Insp. MT
**************************************************************************************
To: Vecchio
M: Canada
Re:
Many rescue methods to demon. Tonite conven.?
(Vecchio, have you considered getting a life? Seriously.)

-Dewey
**************************************************************************************
To: Corporal Benton Fraser
M: Vec'eau
Re:

Il a dit: "Leave deef home."