Five Minutes After

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

About 300 words, unbetaed and written at blinding speed.



FIVE MINUTES AFTER THE PLATFORM

Oh my God! Oh my God!
God!
No, no nononononono—
Oh my God, dead, he's—
What do I—
I have to, I've got to, I've got to—
Oh my God, what do I do? What—
Shut up. Just shut up!
Breathe. Breathe. Come on, breathe.
Again.
Again.
There.
There.
Okay.
Think, I have to, what do I, what should I—
Shut up. Inside. Go. Inside.
Toilet, find the—
Lock it. Lock, lock, lock.
Think, let me think.
Oh, Christ!
Breathe. No, don't you cry, you hear me? You hear me? Don't you fucking cry over him!
God.
But maybe he's not, he's not dead—
Stop it. Forget it. Forget him.
I look—Christ, my face.
Shit, don't I have a lipstick? Where the hell did I lose—oh, okay, good.
Good. Better. Eyeliner? No, damn it. Wait -- Okay, mascara, whatever, that'll do.
There. There. Good. You look good. Breathe.
Kill for a cigarette.
Huh. Don't have one fucking diamond left, and I want a fucking cigarette. Way to go, girl, way to fucking think about the fucking future.
Wait a minute. How much money do I have? Let me look—
Three hundred bucks, almost, okay, okay, good. That could take me to—
Shit, where the hell is this going, anyway?
Doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
Okay. Ready?
You look good.
Breathe.
Open the door.
Go find a seat. Find a seat.
Grandmother type on left, student, two rows up, window seat open on left—
No. Wait--
Single man, 50ish, three rows up on right…Businessman?
No wedding ring.
. . .
"Hello. Mind if I join you?"
. . .
"Well, hello, Charles Meredith. How nice to meet you."
. . .
"Victoria. Victoria…Fraser."

Comments

[akite.livejournal.com]

Holy, moley, Shay! I thought it was Ray too until she went to find the toilet. Then it sunk in. Wow!

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Yay. It's funny this challenge came up, because I always did wonder what happened to Victoria after the train pulled out. Thanks!

[(Anonymous)]

Very nice, very intense, very believable. I've always felt Victoria really did care about what happened to Fraser but she cared about herself more, and once she made the decision to stay on the train, she quickly slipped into self-preservation mode, thinking less and less about the man lying on the platform.

Melanie Mitchell wrote a story called "The Woman in Seat Thirty-Eight," her take on what happened in the aftermath of the shooting.

Laurie

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Thanks for commenting. And yes, I did read that story, and enjoyed it very much. I think someone recced it on ds_flashback this week,