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ds_flashfictionthis is just a small piece of fluff playing off of Ray's tendancy to threaten to kick people in the head... no real damage done to the Mountie!
This story refers to the Inuit game, Aratsiaq, a jumping game. A target (such as a piece of fur) is suspended off the ground on a crane-type apparatus that allows the target to be raised after each round. Participants run, try to kick the object with one foot, and then must land on the kicking foot. Information on the game was derived from the Elliott Avedon Museum and Archive of Games at http://www.ahs.uwaterloo.ca/~museum/vexhibit/inuit/english/jump.html.
“Fraser, you cannot blame this on me. You wanted me to play the stupid game. Me, I said that didn’t look like any game a transplanted Chicago cop should be playing. But nooo, you said, ‘Give it a try, Ray. You dance, you are graceful and coordinated.’ And then you gave me that look, that do-this-Ray-and-I’ll-make-you-very-happy-later look. Well, you obviously won’t be making me too happy any time later tonight, huh? I just want to kick you in … ugh!”
“You are correct Ray. I did encourage you to participate. I am fully to blame. And as you have already kicked me in the head, perhaps we might find another topic of conversation.”
“Oh, come off it, Fraser! It’s totally my fault. You may have started me, but I’m the one who got all competitive and kept playing. I tried to kick an object six feet of the ground. I took a running leap, missed the target, and kicked my partner in the head.”
“Yes, Ray, that is true. In all the times I’ve heard you use the phrase, I’ve never seen you actually kick someone in the head until now. Although I can’t really say I saw this incident either. I admit it’s not an experience I wish to repeat. I find I must ask ----- Are you planning to jump Bogart all over me any time soon?”
“You… you… you’re trying to make me feel better aren’t you? I actually kick you in the head and you try to make me feel better. You’re too much, you freak.”
“Well, my plans had been to make you happy by very different means. But given the clinic wishes me to spend the night for observation, and given that, as the local officer of the law it is incumbent upon me to serve as a good example and follow the medical advice, I need to find another way to, as you said, make you very happy later. I thought that perhaps allowing you to jump Bogart would be a different way to make you happy.”
“Nah, I don’t need to beat up on you anymore. I guess I’ll have to go home and beat myself…”
“Ray. Language. And propriety. And … maybe a phone call home to you at a certain point in the evening would be a way to make for not being there in person?”
“Oohh, Benton, are you trying to hurry me out of here? That’s quite an induction, no, an intrus…”
“Inducement?”
“Yeah. That’s quite the inducement to get me to actually leave when visiting hours end. So, you call me or I call you?”
“Dr. Prescott said she’d likely be round one more time, about 8 o’clock. Shall I call you after she finishes? That should give you time to get home, attend to Dief and some of the household chores, and perhaps be ready jump Bogart on yourself?”
“You know, I’ll never be able to use that phrase again with a perp … but I like the plan.”
This story refers to the Inuit game, Aratsiaq, a jumping game. A target (such as a piece of fur) is suspended off the ground on a crane-type apparatus that allows the target to be raised after each round. Participants run, try to kick the object with one foot, and then must land on the kicking foot. Information on the game was derived from the Elliott Avedon Museum and Archive of Games at http://www.ahs.uwaterloo.ca/~museum/vexhibit/inuit/english/jump.html.
“Fraser, you cannot blame this on me. You wanted me to play the stupid game. Me, I said that didn’t look like any game a transplanted Chicago cop should be playing. But nooo, you said, ‘Give it a try, Ray. You dance, you are graceful and coordinated.’ And then you gave me that look, that do-this-Ray-and-I’ll-make-you-very-happy-later look. Well, you obviously won’t be making me too happy any time later tonight, huh? I just want to kick you in … ugh!”
“You are correct Ray. I did encourage you to participate. I am fully to blame. And as you have already kicked me in the head, perhaps we might find another topic of conversation.”
“Oh, come off it, Fraser! It’s totally my fault. You may have started me, but I’m the one who got all competitive and kept playing. I tried to kick an object six feet of the ground. I took a running leap, missed the target, and kicked my partner in the head.”
“Yes, Ray, that is true. In all the times I’ve heard you use the phrase, I’ve never seen you actually kick someone in the head until now. Although I can’t really say I saw this incident either. I admit it’s not an experience I wish to repeat. I find I must ask ----- Are you planning to jump Bogart all over me any time soon?”
“You… you… you’re trying to make me feel better aren’t you? I actually kick you in the head and you try to make me feel better. You’re too much, you freak.”
“Well, my plans had been to make you happy by very different means. But given the clinic wishes me to spend the night for observation, and given that, as the local officer of the law it is incumbent upon me to serve as a good example and follow the medical advice, I need to find another way to, as you said, make you very happy later. I thought that perhaps allowing you to jump Bogart would be a different way to make you happy.”
“Nah, I don’t need to beat up on you anymore. I guess I’ll have to go home and beat myself…”
“Ray. Language. And propriety. And … maybe a phone call home to you at a certain point in the evening would be a way to make for not being there in person?”
“Oohh, Benton, are you trying to hurry me out of here? That’s quite an induction, no, an intrus…”
“Inducement?”
“Yeah. That’s quite the inducement to get me to actually leave when visiting hours end. So, you call me or I call you?”
“Dr. Prescott said she’d likely be round one more time, about 8 o’clock. Shall I call you after she finishes? That should give you time to get home, attend to Dief and some of the household chores, and perhaps be ready jump Bogart on yourself?”
“You know, I’ll never be able to use that phrase again with a perp … but I like the plan.”
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Date: 2004-03-02 10:36 am (UTC)Thanks for posting!
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