(no subject)

[maubast.livejournal.com]

Even though I am aware of the power my words have to hurt Ray, I still allowed myself to say things that wounded him, hurt him, while we fought. I didn't mean any of it, but he gets under my skin like no one else ever has or will. He's that much a part of me.

For a long time, he sat out on the porch, just staring out at the horizon, his fingers drumming on the arm of the chair. Then he got up, went out to the dog shelter, staying for a very long time. I knew what he was doing - he was visiting the new litter. Finally, Ray came into our home and poured himself a cup of coffee, not looking at me.

I wanted to say I was sorry, I wanted to make it up to him, but the words were stuck in my throat.

He eyed me and then, hands wrapped around the coffee cup, said, almost inaudibly, "Stella used to tell me I was stupid too."

I stared at him, shame permeating through my very being as I remembered the words spoke in exasperation - "For God's sake, Ray, don't be stupid. She's going to be lame!"

He cocked his head to one side and then said clearly, "I'm not giving up Lukey. Lame or not, I love her." With that, he rose and put his coffee cup in the sink and headed back to our bedroom.

I sat there, staring down at my hands, and then sighed. I didn't think the pup would even make it, her leg damaged, but she was a stubborn pup - we fought over keeping her, and that's when I finally lost my temper.

Thing was, I knew I was in the wrong. I knew it. What harm did it do, for Ray to keep her? None, really, but I was being a sanctimonious asshole.

When I heard the water start in our shower, I rose to my feet. Time to apologise, time to make it up to him.

"Ray?" I called, standing outside the shower.

"What?" he asked, sticking his head out of the shower.

"May I join you?"

He nodded once, and I felt relieved. This meant he wanted to make up too. Thank God. I hurriedly stripped and once in the shower, pulled him close. "God, Ray, I'm sorry."

"Me too, Fraser. But I ain't giving her -"

"You don't have to," I muttered, nuzzling his neck, my hair plastered to my head, hot water rolling down our faces. "I'm sorry."

We kissed, his hands sliding down my back as I pressed him against the shower wall.

He grunted as I swivelled my hips against his, my tongue tangling with his as we made love in the shower, one of my hands on his butt, the other on his penis.

He reached down and began to touch me as I began stroking him as hard and fast as I dared/ As I listened to him panting my name and miscellaneous curses and endearments in my ear as I brought him to orgasm, I too, orgasmed.

We leaned against each other for a moment, the water running over our bodies, then I murmured, "I love you, Ray and I know you're not stupid. I'm sorry."

"I love you too, Fraser. I believe you. It's good." Ray paused, then winked at me. "But you can keep making it up to me."

There's only so many ways to say you're sorry. Fortunately for me, Ray likes all of them.


589 Words
by Bast

Comments

ah!

[theodosia.livejournal.com]

>I didn't mean any of it, but he gets under my skin like no one else ever has or will. He's that much a part of me.

Oh, yeah!

Thank you for writing a piece around one of the other "makeups"!

Re: ah!

[maubast.livejournal.com]

My pleasure! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[lynnmonster.livejournal.com]

"You don't have to," I muttered, nuzzling his neck, my hair plastered to my head, hot water rolling down our faces. "I'm sorry."

I liked the way the hot water made me think of tears, while clearly not being about actual crying.

[maubast.livejournal.com]

Thank you! What a cool way to look at that.

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

I like the way you show us what they've fought about without pausing to give us the backstory.

And Ray's almost-inaudible line about Stella -- ouch. But it felt very real.

The very last line is lovely, too. :-)

[maubast.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I think Ray's relationship with Stella colours a great deal of his life - his and Fraser's life.

[doll-revolution.livejournal.com]

punkin!

sweet and touching, as always. i can just see fraser obsessing over his faults, but being unable to say anything.

good job!

[maubast.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie! *smooch*

[bethbethbeth.livejournal.com]

There's only so many ways to say you're sorry. Fortunately for me, Ray likes all of them.

Lovely last line. It left me with a smile after the rather more serious story.

[maubast.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm sure Ray knows how to make him pay...and pay... and...

In a mutually beneficial way, of course.

:o)

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

What a lovely and revealing picture of the two of them. I may be reading different things into this than you intended, but I couldn't help but imagine Ray is in some way identifying with the damaged pup. Fraser's initial rejection of it, coupled with the hot-button word "stupid" makes Ray withdraw into himself. But underneath it all, they both want to make up. Nice, painful but ultimately happy portrait of their relationship.

SHAY

[maubast.livejournal.com]

I love damaged Ray. :o) What can I say?

Thank you kindly for your very kind words.

[ajinamoto.livejournal.com]

Love this. You feel sorry for both of them, but happy that they can get past this. It's so easy to say something in the heat of the moment that can cut to the core. I liked Fraser's feeling so bad about it, but being Fraser (and the product of Fraser Sr. and his grandparents) not knowing what to do about it. I like to think, though, that Ray has helped him get to that spot where he's finally able to apologize.

Glad to see something new by you Bast!

[maubast.livejournal.com]

Yes, while I think that even though it's hard for Ben, Ray definately makes it easier.

[bertiebee2.livejournal.com]

It's just amazing to me that you can write such a detailed story of Ray and Ben having an argument, show all the pain and heartache, have them dwell on it, feel remorse, have a great sex and makeup, and say they are sorry, all in less than 600 words!!

[maubast.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Mum! [bwg]

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

"I didn't mean any of it, but he gets under my skin like no one else ever has or will. He's that much a part of me."

This is a large part of the fun of the F/K dynamic--love how RayK strikes sparks off our Mountie.

"There's only so many ways to say you're sorry. Fortunately for me, Ray likes all of them."

Very nice! I can't get enough of nekkid men in the shower....!

[maubast.livejournal.com]

Nekkid Ben and Ray are always a good thing.