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[maubast.livejournal.com]

Even though I am aware of the power my words have to hurt Ray, I still allowed myself to say things that wounded him, hurt him, while we fought. I didn't mean any of it, but he gets under my skin like no one else ever has or will. He's that much a part of me.

For a long time, he sat out on the porch, just staring out at the horizon, his fingers drumming on the arm of the chair. Then he got up, went out to the dog shelter, staying for a very long time. I knew what he was doing - he was visiting the new litter. Finally, Ray came into our home and poured himself a cup of coffee, not looking at me.

I wanted to say I was sorry, I wanted to make it up to him, but the words were stuck in my throat.

He eyed me and then, hands wrapped around the coffee cup, said, almost inaudibly, "Stella used to tell me I was stupid too."

I stared at him, shame permeating through my very being as I remembered the words spoke in exasperation - "For God's sake, Ray, don't be stupid. She's going to be lame!"

He cocked his head to one side and then said clearly, "I'm not giving up Lukey. Lame or not, I love her." With that, he rose and put his coffee cup in the sink and headed back to our bedroom.

I sat there, staring down at my hands, and then sighed. I didn't think the pup would even make it, her leg damaged, but she was a stubborn pup - we fought over keeping her, and that's when I finally lost my temper.

Thing was, I knew I was in the wrong. I knew it. What harm did it do, for Ray to keep her? None, really, but I was being a sanctimonious asshole.

When I heard the water start in our shower, I rose to my feet. Time to apologise, time to make it up to him.

"Ray?" I called, standing outside the shower.

"What?" he asked, sticking his head out of the shower.

"May I join you?"

He nodded once, and I felt relieved. This meant he wanted to make up too. Thank God. I hurriedly stripped and once in the shower, pulled him close. "God, Ray, I'm sorry."

"Me too, Fraser. But I ain't giving her -"

"You don't have to," I muttered, nuzzling his neck, my hair plastered to my head, hot water rolling down our faces. "I'm sorry."

We kissed, his hands sliding down my back as I pressed him against the shower wall.

He grunted as I swivelled my hips against his, my tongue tangling with his as we made love in the shower, one of my hands on his butt, the other on his penis.

He reached down and began to touch me as I began stroking him as hard and fast as I dared/ As I listened to him panting my name and miscellaneous curses and endearments in my ear as I brought him to orgasm, I too, orgasmed.

We leaned against each other for a moment, the water running over our bodies, then I murmured, "I love you, Ray and I know you're not stupid. I'm sorry."

"I love you too, Fraser. I believe you. It's good." Ray paused, then winked at me. "But you can keep making it up to me."

There's only so many ways to say you're sorry. Fortunately for me, Ray likes all of them.


589 Words
by Bast

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[maubast.livejournal.com]

Thanks sweetie! *smooch*