Controlled Grace, by Rae
Dec. 22nd, 2004 12:02 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
rjm-257.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionAuthor's Note: I started this twice, poor me. It's such a hardship to imagine Ray/Ray. I'm a little over the limit, but I'm hoping you'll forgive me. I couldn't not write for the challenge and this was the only thing done in time. It's... just over the wire on time, too. *sigh* Just can't win this week.
NC-17. Ish. 1493 words.
In Vegas, there was no such thing as vanilla sex. If you didn't adveritise your kinks, people began to wonder. Ray had walked into the shoes of a man who didn't know what 'normal' was and after being the Bookman, Ray had gotten used to a certain way of doing things.
For example, he had no problem taking Kowalksi hard and fast. There was a sense of barely restrained violence in the way he pressed Kowalski against the back wall of the supply closet, like they were still walking the fine line between hate and something else even while fucking. He ignored Kowalksi's laughing banter of, "What's the rush?"
Ray also didn't have a problem with bending Kowalski over the kitchen table, over the bathroom sink, or even over the arm of the couch. He didn't have a problem with taking Kowalski on the floor, either, though one or both of them usually ended up with rug burns. He did balk at going into Kowalski's bedroom. Ray made sure they never made it to the bed.
Kowalski called him on it once. "Control freak," the blond whispered hotly, head tilted back while Ray made a mark on the column of Kowalski's neck. Nothing else was said on that subject for several months.
*****
"You couldn't do it," Kowalksi crowed, sounding smug even while he looked like he'd just been fucked on the kitchen table. Which he had.
Ray wearily tucked his shirt back into his pants and ignored the drying come on his legs. "Give it a rest," he instructed harshly, trying to pretend that Kowalski's goading wasn't getting to him. They'd ended up on the table because it happened to be the closest surface available when Kowalksi had started in on this conversation twenty minutes ago.
"What's the matter, Vecchio. Couldn't handle it?" The goading had dropped down into a softer tone, but was still aggressive. When Ray looked at Kowalski, he could see 'challenge' etched into every line of Kowalski's body. "Big, bad Vecchio, afraid of my bed." The smirk widened and Kowalski straightened up from his slouch against the wall. He didn't bother to fix his clothes, leaving his pants hanging low on his hips, cock jutting out through the open fly.
"If you're tired of trying to keep up, just say so, Kowalski," Ray flung back, ignoring the insult underyling Kowalski's words. The punk was just teasing, just trying to get a reaction like he always did. He couldn't ever let good enough alone. He picked his jacket up from where he'd tossed it on the counter earlier and began to put it on.
Kowalski turned his back and swaggered his way out of the kitchen and across the short distance of the living room. He paused on the threshold to his bedroom and put hand high up on the doorjamb before looking over his shoulder. Stretched out like that, his body was a taut, pale line against the shadows of his room. "Didn't figure you for a coward, Ray." The emphasis on his first name was mocking, another jibe.
Ray's jacket dropped onto the back of the chair, his shirt was tossed on the arm of the couch, or near enough to it, and his pants were dropped unceremoniusly beside the bed. Kowalski had been waiting for him beside it, standing naked, his hands on his hips and his lips twisted into a smirk. Ray didn't let him get out another smart-assed comment. Once he was naked, he tumbled them both to the bed, Kowalski beneath him.
The blond opened his legs easily, fitting Ray between them like it was normal. They pressed against each other, Kowalski writhing to match him thrust for thrust, occasionally bucking up. Ray rode the rise and fall of his hips and lost himself in the wet heat of Kowalski's mouth. The bed became any other surface they fucked on, softer but singuarly unthreatening. The location didn't matter, Ray was still in charge.
As soon as that thought formed, Kowalski bucked harder, tilting them to the side. Ray rode that one through and pressed Kowalski hard into the mattress. When Ray raised his head, Kowalski was looking up at him with a knowing smile. "Control freak."
Ray started to reply, but Kowalski bucked up again and then used his arms to finish flipping them over, until Ray was on the bottom, being pinned under Kowalski's body. Ray struggled, uncomfortably out of control. Kowalski held him, though, using the muscles his lean frame hid too easily. When Ray finally stopped fighting it, they were both breathing heavy, but he hadn't gained any ground.
They eyed each other, the air between them thick with tension that hadn't been there for some time. They were enemies again, instead of sometime-lovers. "Are you done?" Kowalski asked, sounding amused.
Ray let his body relax, let the facade of calm settle into place. "Yeah." He could feel the mask settling over his face like a physical change. How long had it been since the last time he'd needed its defense?
"Yeah, right. I let go of you, and you either belt me one or you go running out of here, or both. I'm not about to have my clock cleaned just because you've got issues, Vecchio." He shut up for a moment and looked thoughtful. Ray was familiar with that expression; he saw it at work, when Kowalski was getting a hunch. After a moment, his hands moved, shifted just a little so that he was holding Ray's hands instead of holding his arms down. "You got trust issues, Vecchio? Forget what trust was while you were in Vegas?"
"It's not-" Ray started. Kowalski was already shaking his head though, a slow side-to-side motion that stopped the words more effectively than anything else he could have done.
"You haven't done nothing with me you couldn't do with a stranger." Kowalski leaned down, brushed his lips over Ray's ear before speaking into it. "You want sex, Vecchio? You can have sex like that with anyone. Get it elsewhere." There was a hard thread to that instruction, like Kowalski meant it. Ray frowned and turned his head a little, but Kowalski tucked his face against the side of Ray's neck. "You want something else, Vecchio? You think you can handle something more?" There it was again, that note of challenge.
Ray swallowed and managed to speak, his voice a little rough but strong. "You think you can give it?" They weren't the words they meant to say, but they worked. Kowalski's hold on his hands loosened and he rubbed his body against Ray's, a sinuous slide of flesh on flesh.
"I can. You can count on it."
Ray let his legs relax and fall to the side, until Kowalski was cradled between them. When Kowalski let go of his hands too, Ray flipped them back over. He didn't try to pin Kowalski this time, though. He placed his hands on either side of Kowalski's body while he looked down on him. Kowalski let his arms rest on the bed, stretched out on either side. He was still hard, was still ready to go at it, but by this time, he normally would have been pawing at Ray's back, pressing for harder, faster, more.
Get it elsewhere.
Ray bent his arms and leaned over Kowalski until their foreheads were pressed together. He could feel Kowalski's irregular pattern of breathing against his mouth. "Show me what you've got."
He didn't have to see Kowalski's mouth to see the grin; the crinkling at the corner of his eyes was enough. Ray felt Kowalski's hands come up then, pressing into his sides, running slowly, gently over the skin of his chest. He was surprised when Kowalski started to push him back, up, away. "Get up. Gotta start over."
Ray frowned but complied by standing up next to the bed, back to where they started this little game. Kowalski scrambled up, too, and disappeared from the room. Ray heard music from the living room but hadn't identified it before Kowalski was back and tugging on his hands.
With one of Kowalski's hands on his hip, Kowalski led him into the first steps of a slow dance. Ray stumbled the first step, confused by the fact that for the first time in his life, he wasn't the one leading. He looked at Kowalski, was actually ready to tell him the whole thing was stupid, but Kowalski's face had relaxed. His eyes were closed and as he led Ray through the following steps, it became easier. When Kowalski drew him closer, into the intimate proximity of a lover and not just another dance partner, Ray let his own eyes close, let Kowalski pull him along.
A long while later, when he felt the bed at the back of his knees, Ray went down easily, feeling Kowalski support his weight. The fall was smooth and graceful.
NC-17. Ish. 1493 words.
In Vegas, there was no such thing as vanilla sex. If you didn't adveritise your kinks, people began to wonder. Ray had walked into the shoes of a man who didn't know what 'normal' was and after being the Bookman, Ray had gotten used to a certain way of doing things.
For example, he had no problem taking Kowalksi hard and fast. There was a sense of barely restrained violence in the way he pressed Kowalski against the back wall of the supply closet, like they were still walking the fine line between hate and something else even while fucking. He ignored Kowalksi's laughing banter of, "What's the rush?"
Ray also didn't have a problem with bending Kowalski over the kitchen table, over the bathroom sink, or even over the arm of the couch. He didn't have a problem with taking Kowalski on the floor, either, though one or both of them usually ended up with rug burns. He did balk at going into Kowalski's bedroom. Ray made sure they never made it to the bed.
Kowalski called him on it once. "Control freak," the blond whispered hotly, head tilted back while Ray made a mark on the column of Kowalski's neck. Nothing else was said on that subject for several months.
*****
"You couldn't do it," Kowalksi crowed, sounding smug even while he looked like he'd just been fucked on the kitchen table. Which he had.
Ray wearily tucked his shirt back into his pants and ignored the drying come on his legs. "Give it a rest," he instructed harshly, trying to pretend that Kowalski's goading wasn't getting to him. They'd ended up on the table because it happened to be the closest surface available when Kowalksi had started in on this conversation twenty minutes ago.
"What's the matter, Vecchio. Couldn't handle it?" The goading had dropped down into a softer tone, but was still aggressive. When Ray looked at Kowalski, he could see 'challenge' etched into every line of Kowalski's body. "Big, bad Vecchio, afraid of my bed." The smirk widened and Kowalski straightened up from his slouch against the wall. He didn't bother to fix his clothes, leaving his pants hanging low on his hips, cock jutting out through the open fly.
"If you're tired of trying to keep up, just say so, Kowalski," Ray flung back, ignoring the insult underyling Kowalski's words. The punk was just teasing, just trying to get a reaction like he always did. He couldn't ever let good enough alone. He picked his jacket up from where he'd tossed it on the counter earlier and began to put it on.
Kowalski turned his back and swaggered his way out of the kitchen and across the short distance of the living room. He paused on the threshold to his bedroom and put hand high up on the doorjamb before looking over his shoulder. Stretched out like that, his body was a taut, pale line against the shadows of his room. "Didn't figure you for a coward, Ray." The emphasis on his first name was mocking, another jibe.
Ray's jacket dropped onto the back of the chair, his shirt was tossed on the arm of the couch, or near enough to it, and his pants were dropped unceremoniusly beside the bed. Kowalski had been waiting for him beside it, standing naked, his hands on his hips and his lips twisted into a smirk. Ray didn't let him get out another smart-assed comment. Once he was naked, he tumbled them both to the bed, Kowalski beneath him.
The blond opened his legs easily, fitting Ray between them like it was normal. They pressed against each other, Kowalski writhing to match him thrust for thrust, occasionally bucking up. Ray rode the rise and fall of his hips and lost himself in the wet heat of Kowalski's mouth. The bed became any other surface they fucked on, softer but singuarly unthreatening. The location didn't matter, Ray was still in charge.
As soon as that thought formed, Kowalski bucked harder, tilting them to the side. Ray rode that one through and pressed Kowalski hard into the mattress. When Ray raised his head, Kowalski was looking up at him with a knowing smile. "Control freak."
Ray started to reply, but Kowalski bucked up again and then used his arms to finish flipping them over, until Ray was on the bottom, being pinned under Kowalski's body. Ray struggled, uncomfortably out of control. Kowalski held him, though, using the muscles his lean frame hid too easily. When Ray finally stopped fighting it, they were both breathing heavy, but he hadn't gained any ground.
They eyed each other, the air between them thick with tension that hadn't been there for some time. They were enemies again, instead of sometime-lovers. "Are you done?" Kowalski asked, sounding amused.
Ray let his body relax, let the facade of calm settle into place. "Yeah." He could feel the mask settling over his face like a physical change. How long had it been since the last time he'd needed its defense?
"Yeah, right. I let go of you, and you either belt me one or you go running out of here, or both. I'm not about to have my clock cleaned just because you've got issues, Vecchio." He shut up for a moment and looked thoughtful. Ray was familiar with that expression; he saw it at work, when Kowalski was getting a hunch. After a moment, his hands moved, shifted just a little so that he was holding Ray's hands instead of holding his arms down. "You got trust issues, Vecchio? Forget what trust was while you were in Vegas?"
"It's not-" Ray started. Kowalski was already shaking his head though, a slow side-to-side motion that stopped the words more effectively than anything else he could have done.
"You haven't done nothing with me you couldn't do with a stranger." Kowalski leaned down, brushed his lips over Ray's ear before speaking into it. "You want sex, Vecchio? You can have sex like that with anyone. Get it elsewhere." There was a hard thread to that instruction, like Kowalski meant it. Ray frowned and turned his head a little, but Kowalski tucked his face against the side of Ray's neck. "You want something else, Vecchio? You think you can handle something more?" There it was again, that note of challenge.
Ray swallowed and managed to speak, his voice a little rough but strong. "You think you can give it?" They weren't the words they meant to say, but they worked. Kowalski's hold on his hands loosened and he rubbed his body against Ray's, a sinuous slide of flesh on flesh.
"I can. You can count on it."
Ray let his legs relax and fall to the side, until Kowalski was cradled between them. When Kowalski let go of his hands too, Ray flipped them back over. He didn't try to pin Kowalski this time, though. He placed his hands on either side of Kowalski's body while he looked down on him. Kowalski let his arms rest on the bed, stretched out on either side. He was still hard, was still ready to go at it, but by this time, he normally would have been pawing at Ray's back, pressing for harder, faster, more.
Get it elsewhere.
Ray bent his arms and leaned over Kowalski until their foreheads were pressed together. He could feel Kowalski's irregular pattern of breathing against his mouth. "Show me what you've got."
He didn't have to see Kowalski's mouth to see the grin; the crinkling at the corner of his eyes was enough. Ray felt Kowalski's hands come up then, pressing into his sides, running slowly, gently over the skin of his chest. He was surprised when Kowalski started to push him back, up, away. "Get up. Gotta start over."
Ray frowned but complied by standing up next to the bed, back to where they started this little game. Kowalski scrambled up, too, and disappeared from the room. Ray heard music from the living room but hadn't identified it before Kowalski was back and tugging on his hands.
With one of Kowalski's hands on his hip, Kowalski led him into the first steps of a slow dance. Ray stumbled the first step, confused by the fact that for the first time in his life, he wasn't the one leading. He looked at Kowalski, was actually ready to tell him the whole thing was stupid, but Kowalski's face had relaxed. His eyes were closed and as he led Ray through the following steps, it became easier. When Kowalski drew him closer, into the intimate proximity of a lover and not just another dance partner, Ray let his own eyes close, let Kowalski pull him along.
A long while later, when he felt the bed at the back of his knees, Ray went down easily, feeling Kowalski support his weight. The fall was smooth and graceful.
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Date: 2004-12-21 09:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-22 08:13 pm (UTC)Thank you. I appreciate the feedback.
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Date: 2004-12-22 08:14 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading and taking the time to say you enjoyed it.
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Date: 2004-12-22 08:17 pm (UTC)Thank you for the compliment.
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Date: 2004-12-22 08:18 pm (UTC)Thank you kindly. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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Date: 2004-12-22 01:19 pm (UTC)*sighs happily*
mmmmm
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