Ink Challenge: Color the Lake Blue, by Fabella

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

Hoo-Boy, first post here in a long time.

Title: Color the Lake Blue
Author: Fabella
Rating: PG
Word Count: 483
Challenge: Ink
Fraser/RayK, post CotW, angst.


Breathe! Now!

Fraser handled the map, uneasily contemplating the adventure he and Ray Kowalski had first set out on. Focusing, despite himself, on the end.

He turned the map over, bending the paper toward the light. Wrinkles created shadows, great craters obstructing the red and black lines. Fraser's hands, on either side, trembled slightly when he studied the blue ink, the frozen lakes one could easily fall through. How beautiful, his home. How terrible.

The map was creased and thin from repeated folding, ink faded nearly illegible. And yet it was as substantial as a photograph. Fraser rubbed his thumb over the path they had taken, stopping abruptly where the journey had come to a halt.

When Fraser looked up, Ray was standing near the bottom of his bed, snappish hair catching the yellows and oranges from the firelight. His smile was wide, rich with promise, and he wore a stretched gray shirt above a pair of dark, baggy jeans.

"You'll get ink on ya," Ray warned, showing his teeth.

The map shuddered within Fraser's grasp, and he nodded, dumbly fixated on that precious face.

Come on, Ray.

"You'll end up with your fingers in your mouth like always, and where will ya be then? With ink poisoning, that's where."

"I'm..." Fraser cleared his throat. "I'm afraid you know me too well." Quiet then, only the fire popping. Fraser swallowed. "Must you really leave?"

Ray dipped his chin, scratching his nape. The floor creaked, snapping with cold, and then his eyebrows rose and fell in a shoulderless shrug, arm flopping to the side.

"Yeah," Ray said, sheepishly. "Kinda chilly out here, you know?"

Fraser squeezed the map, crumpling the paper, smearing ink on his skin.

"But what will I do without you?"

Ray's lips twisted. "Get ink poisoning, probably."

"Don't go." Fraser grimaced, forcing the words out. "Stay, you can, I'll make room. I've done it before." Ray looked at him, and didn't answer. "Ray, please, you can't leave."

"You know I gotta, Fraser," Ray whispered. "We had our adventure. Take care for me, huh?"

Ray reached out to touch Fraser's wrist, but his fingers passed through the blue-veined skin, immaterial. Fraser flinched, ice stabbing his heart, reeling away in a cold haze. But then he was warm, lukewarm, and that was worse. Where the tears were. He dropped the map, lunging forward. His ink stained hands closed around thin air.

Breathe, Ray!

"I'm sorry," Fraser said. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you."

"Hey." Ray shifted awkwardly, appearing alive under his clothes, thin body working to displace an awkward moment. "You loved me good, Fraser. Real good. Nothing more I coulda asked for when I was here. I'll be looking you up when I can."

"Wait. Just one moment--"

Ray tossed his head back, cocked a hip, and waved goodbye. Oddly, there appeared to be ink on his right thumb, as if he'd touched Fraser deep, deepest, where the ice-blue ink had frozen over in its well.

Please?

Comments

[merelyn.livejournal.com]

Oh. Ouch.

I love how you've managed to convey so much of what happened to them in so few words. I definitely had to re-read it in order to pick up on everything. Of course, it is 3 am.

Anyway, nicely done!

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I almost didn't write it that way actually, I was going to spell it out, but... nah.

[claire.livejournal.com]

Sad and achy and beautifully done.

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

[nowlive.livejournal.com]

Just so sad, but in a good way. Of course, Ray didn't want to leave. I guess we'll have to wait for the next challenge to see how Ray died, yeah?

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

The answers are within. /misty voice

[abelladonna.livejournal.com]

::is stunned::

::rereads::

Oh god that hurt.

::rereads again::

That hurt so freakin' bad.

But, damn. So much conveyed with so few rods! The tragedy of the situation, Fraser's desperation, Ray's desire to stay with him...

My fav part was this though, How beautiful, his home. How terrible. It's the first hint that you get that this is not just FraserAngst. No, it's tragedy and fear and loss.

::rereads again::

God, it hurts so very very good!

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

Thanks!

Should I apologize here or pat myself on the back? ;)

How beautiful, his home. How terrible. It's the first hint that you get that this is not just FraserAngst

Keen eyes, you have.

[lynnmonster.livejournal.com]

Beautiful!

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

Thank you, kindly.

[misanthrope7842.livejournal.com]

Ow! wonderful story, and so painful.

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

I have a sadistic streak. Have I not mentioned this? ::puts on to-do list::

[sam80853.livejournal.com]

::wipes away a tear::

This is beautiful but although painful!

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

::hands napkin::

[serialkarma.livejournal.com]

Oh, my. This hurt, but in that really good way. oh!

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

FraserAngst. It's a bad habit, but I can't help it. ;)

[akite.livejournal.com]

::sniff:: Poor Fraser, poor Ray. Beautifully done.

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :)

[lamardeuse.livejournal.com]

He turned the map over, bending the paper toward the light. Wrinkles created shadows, great craters obstructing the red and black lines. Fraser's hands, on either side, trembled slightly when he studied the blue ink, the frozen lakes one could easily fall through. How beautiful, his home. How terrible.

I absolutely loved this. But oh, what a punch to the gut. Amazing, the choice of words, like "snappish hair". And this desperate Fraser:

"Stay, you can, I'll make room. I've done it before."

just rips your heart right out of your chest. Wow.

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

At first, it was even more cryptic, until I realized the story was definitely lacking something. Originally, it was about 200 or so words. Beefed it up some in edits. Thanks, btw, for commenting. :)

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

You're so good. You drop in that beautiful, terrible blue lake and then let us know without pointing why Fraser sees it that way. Marvelous.

[cesperanza.livejournal.com]

Ditto--I noticed the description first time, and then was like AAAAH! when it came up again at the end. It's perfectly clear what happened, and it's lovely the way you parallel the water and the ink, and how the ink froze over when it wasn't supposed to, and how the lake, unfortunately, didn't freeze nearly enough.

[estrella30.livejournal.com]

Holy crap - come back to DS and freaking *kill* me why dont ya.

This is beautiful and haunting and terrible and wonderful all at once. Amazing job.

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'm kinda like the Mafia that way.

*peers around corner and whispers her thanks*

[kassrachel.livejournal.com]

Oh, ow.

This is really lovely. You told a lot in a very few words. I like the way you didn't come right out and say what had happened -- you let the story tell that for you.

[wistful-fever.livejournal.com]

I like the way you didn't come right out and say what had happened -- you let the story tell that for you.

Thank you. That's something I've always struggled with, the urge to inundate readers with information that they could figure out themselves if I gave them the chance to.

unh?

[tyk.livejournal.com]

oh, wow. It's so Ray it make the loss even that more tangible.

[bohemian--storm.livejournal.com]

Oh, ouch. Wow. That was so beautiful and so sad and ... wow. I really love writers who can convey so much in so few words and you've done that brilliantly.

[malnpudl.livejournal.com]

Oh, dear god, that hurt. *tears*

Here via ds_recs and I'm very glad I came, even though you've made me cry, because that was powerful and understated and really, really beautiful.