Double Take Challenge by txrose
Mar. 18th, 2005 01:46 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
tex.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
ds_flashfictionTITLE: Disruption
AUTHOR: txrose
FANDOM: dS
RATING: G
SUMMARY: Frannie, RayK and Fraser cause a scene (717 words)
“Okay, everyone, if we could all take our seats. Let’s get started as we have a lot of ground to cover in the next hour and a half.”
The group, no more than 12 people total, took up places on the mats that were arranged in the middle of the floor and then, looked up expectantly, and a little nervously, at their instructor. She, having conducted these classes for many years, gave them a reassuring smile.
“First of all, I want you all to draw in a deep breath. Right now. Breathe in.” She had a very even, soothing voice and the class complied without hesitation. “Now, breathe out slowly. Excellent. That’s the most complicated thing I’m going to ask you to do tonight. Over the coming weeks, things will get a bit harder, but I promise you, you will all come through with flying colors.”
There were a couple of murmurs of doubt but the instructor went on. “Why don’t we go around the room and introduce ourselves first? Let’s start on this end.”
“I’m Lisa Nichols and this is my husband, Joe.”
“Welcome. And you are?”
“I’m…my name is Francesca…that is, Frannie Vecchio and this is…um…”
“Jeez, Frannie, get it together here. You’re not on Jeopardy. I’m Ray Kowalski and this is Benton Fraser.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am. And might I say that it’s a very great service you’re doing. Natural childbirth has been a time-tested…”
“Fraser? If I hear one more time about how I don’t need any drugs to get through childbirth, I’m going to hit you right in the cutlets!”
“Chops, Frannie.”
“Chops, cutlets, sirloins, what’s in a name?”
The instructor’s practiced smile faded a bit and she made an attempt to regain control of the class. “I think it’s an excellent idea, having two coaches practice with you, in the event one of them is unavailable at the time you deliver.”
“Yeah, well, that was Fraser’s idea. Proper preparation prevents poor performance, right, Frase?”
“An outstanding credo. Are the three of you related?”
“Well, sorta…”
“Back off, Ray, I’ll explain it. You see, my brother, Ray, is a cop. And Ray is a cop, and so is Fraser. Except, my brother’s living in Florida with Ray’s ex-wife and Fraser, he’s from Canada, and that could be conscrewed as another planet…”
“I believe the word you’re looking for is construed, Francesca,” Fraser offered helpfully.
“Whatever! Anyway, I can’t ask anyone in my family to do this because they’d all drive me crazy in two minutes flat, so, I asked Ray. You see, Ray and I don’t get along sometimes, but he’s fantastic when it comes to performing under pressure.”
“Aw, that’s sweet, Frannie.”
“Don’t let it go to your head, Kowalski.”
“Hey, I have a question. Is she supposed to be so cranky all the time? Because you can’t say, ‘Good Morning, Frannie’, without getting your head bitten off.”
“Shut up, Ray!”
“See what I mean?”
“So, Mr. Kowalski is your brother?” the instructor asked Frannie politely, trying to get the conversation back on track.
“No, Ray Vecchio is my brother. Ray Kowalski is…just…”
“A friend.” “A cousin.” Frannie and Ray spoke at the same time and looked at each other with irritation.
“Ma’am, if you will allow me, I think I can tie this up very neatly before you can say Jimmy Crack Corn.”
“Please, go ahead, Mr. Fraser.”
“Francesca’s brother, Ray Vecchio was my partner. You see, I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father….
“Fraser, I’ve said Jimmy Crack Corn three times already.”
“Let him alone, Ray.”
“As I was saying, Ray Vecchio was my partner. Then, Ray Kowalski became my partner. After a time, Ray and I became domestic partners as well and when Francesca asked Ray to be her Lamaze coach, I volunteered to be her backup and that’s what brings us here tonight.”
“Hey, are there gonna be refreshments after? Frannie said there would be cookies.”
“Ray? Some manners, please?”
“What? I’m starving here, Fraser.”
A fine sheen of perspiration had popped out on the instructor’s forehead. “Well, what’s say we dispense with the rest of the introductions for now and instead, take in a deep cleansing breath? Yes, and again. And I believe I could use just one more…”
AUTHOR: txrose
FANDOM: dS
RATING: G
SUMMARY: Frannie, RayK and Fraser cause a scene (717 words)
“Okay, everyone, if we could all take our seats. Let’s get started as we have a lot of ground to cover in the next hour and a half.”
The group, no more than 12 people total, took up places on the mats that were arranged in the middle of the floor and then, looked up expectantly, and a little nervously, at their instructor. She, having conducted these classes for many years, gave them a reassuring smile.
“First of all, I want you all to draw in a deep breath. Right now. Breathe in.” She had a very even, soothing voice and the class complied without hesitation. “Now, breathe out slowly. Excellent. That’s the most complicated thing I’m going to ask you to do tonight. Over the coming weeks, things will get a bit harder, but I promise you, you will all come through with flying colors.”
There were a couple of murmurs of doubt but the instructor went on. “Why don’t we go around the room and introduce ourselves first? Let’s start on this end.”
“I’m Lisa Nichols and this is my husband, Joe.”
“Welcome. And you are?”
“I’m…my name is Francesca…that is, Frannie Vecchio and this is…um…”
“Jeez, Frannie, get it together here. You’re not on Jeopardy. I’m Ray Kowalski and this is Benton Fraser.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am. And might I say that it’s a very great service you’re doing. Natural childbirth has been a time-tested…”
“Fraser? If I hear one more time about how I don’t need any drugs to get through childbirth, I’m going to hit you right in the cutlets!”
“Chops, Frannie.”
“Chops, cutlets, sirloins, what’s in a name?”
The instructor’s practiced smile faded a bit and she made an attempt to regain control of the class. “I think it’s an excellent idea, having two coaches practice with you, in the event one of them is unavailable at the time you deliver.”
“Yeah, well, that was Fraser’s idea. Proper preparation prevents poor performance, right, Frase?”
“An outstanding credo. Are the three of you related?”
“Well, sorta…”
“Back off, Ray, I’ll explain it. You see, my brother, Ray, is a cop. And Ray is a cop, and so is Fraser. Except, my brother’s living in Florida with Ray’s ex-wife and Fraser, he’s from Canada, and that could be conscrewed as another planet…”
“I believe the word you’re looking for is construed, Francesca,” Fraser offered helpfully.
“Whatever! Anyway, I can’t ask anyone in my family to do this because they’d all drive me crazy in two minutes flat, so, I asked Ray. You see, Ray and I don’t get along sometimes, but he’s fantastic when it comes to performing under pressure.”
“Aw, that’s sweet, Frannie.”
“Don’t let it go to your head, Kowalski.”
“Hey, I have a question. Is she supposed to be so cranky all the time? Because you can’t say, ‘Good Morning, Frannie’, without getting your head bitten off.”
“Shut up, Ray!”
“See what I mean?”
“So, Mr. Kowalski is your brother?” the instructor asked Frannie politely, trying to get the conversation back on track.
“No, Ray Vecchio is my brother. Ray Kowalski is…just…”
“A friend.” “A cousin.” Frannie and Ray spoke at the same time and looked at each other with irritation.
“Ma’am, if you will allow me, I think I can tie this up very neatly before you can say Jimmy Crack Corn.”
“Please, go ahead, Mr. Fraser.”
“Francesca’s brother, Ray Vecchio was my partner. You see, I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father….
“Fraser, I’ve said Jimmy Crack Corn three times already.”
“Let him alone, Ray.”
“As I was saying, Ray Vecchio was my partner. Then, Ray Kowalski became my partner. After a time, Ray and I became domestic partners as well and when Francesca asked Ray to be her Lamaze coach, I volunteered to be her backup and that’s what brings us here tonight.”
“Hey, are there gonna be refreshments after? Frannie said there would be cookies.”
“Ray? Some manners, please?”
“What? I’m starving here, Fraser.”
A fine sheen of perspiration had popped out on the instructor’s forehead. “Well, what’s say we dispense with the rest of the introductions for now and instead, take in a deep cleansing breath? Yes, and again. And I believe I could use just one more…”
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no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 07:54 pm (UTC)That's just perfect!
Perfect Frannie! Perfect Ray! Perfect Fraser!
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am. And might I say that it’s a very great service you’re doing. Natural childbirth has been a time-tested…”
“Fraser? If I hear one more time about how I don’t need any drugs to get through childbirth, I’m going to hit you right in the cutlets!”
“Chops, Frannie.”
“Chops, cutlets, sirloins, what’s in a name?”
::giggles::
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 07:56 pm (UTC)Wonderful. I laughed so hard I went into premature labor. And I'm not even pregnant.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 08:16 pm (UTC)“Please, go ahead, Mr. Fraser.”
“Francesca’s brother, Ray Vecchio was my partner. You see, I first came to Chicago on the trail of the killers of my father….
“Fraser, I’ve said Jimmy Crack Corn three times already.”
*laughs like a loon*
This is wonderful!
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:09 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 08:45 pm (UTC)Who on earth is the father?
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 08:57 pm (UTC)“Hey, are there gonna be refreshments after? Frannie said there would be cookies.”
“Ray? Some manners, please?”
“What? I’m starving here, Fraser.”
I can just hear Fraser's slightly peeved tone and Ray's innocent reply. I think the instructor is going to need a few stiff drinks after this class!
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 08:59 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 09:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 09:10 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 09:58 pm (UTC)Ha! Love this very very much!
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 10:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:18 am (UTC)(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 11:01 pm (UTC)Fraser would drive be batshit if I had to deal with him during pregnancy.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:20 am (UTC)And lookee my new icon! I LOVE IT!!
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Date: 2005-03-18 11:09 pm (UTC)I'm giggling so hard over here. Absolutely perfect voices and so funny. I love Fraser's explanation of his relationship with Ray. Domestic partners. Trust Fraser to put it like that. Wonderful.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-18 11:21 pm (UTC)This was *perfect* Fraser!
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Date: 2005-03-19 06:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 12:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:25 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 12:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 01:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:27 am (UTC)Excellent
Date: 2005-03-19 03:03 am (UTC)Re: Excellent
Date: 2005-03-19 06:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 03:04 am (UTC)You made me snort water out my nose, all over my lee tergesen.com shirt. This is priceless. Pitch perfect and totally fucking hilarious.
Note to self: No drinking when reading Rose fic.
Thank you for a much needed laugh.
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:30 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:40 am (UTC)*is still giggling*
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Date: 2005-03-19 06:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:41 am (UTC)Hilarious!
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:43 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2005-03-19 01:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 04:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 03:42 pm (UTC)Very funny stuff!!
no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 04:31 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 06:37 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-19 07:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-03-21 12:39 am (UTC)“Fraser, I’ve said Jimmy Crack Corn three times already.”
*just dies*
no subject
Date: 2005-03-21 01:49 am (UTC)