Double Take challenge (Amnesty) - by JoanDarck

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

I realize I'm obnoxiously overposting here, but I'm about to leave town for a week. Anyway, this can be blamed on Janne's charming "It Takes Two" - what a great challenge, and I think this does technically fit. With apologies to WH Auden.

Fraser/RayK, 250 words.



Stop All the Clocks



Fraser takes him in, admiring the way the sunlight gets caught in his hair, his eyes, down the sides of his cheeks. "Did you want to say something to me, Ray?"

Ray nods and shoves his hands in his back pockets. Looking up, he says, "Fraser, I... You know I'm no good with this stuff. When I met you, it was like... He was my North, my South, my East and West, / My working week and Sunday rest, / My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song; I thought–"

"Stop there," Fraser says.

Fair enough, says his friend's face, steady in the high winds, blue sky behind him.

Fraser smells smoke. "May I unbutton your shirt?"

Ray glances bashfully here and there before giving a sly wink and saying, "Why not? It's your fantasy."

Fraser unbuttons the top three buttons on Ray's dress uniform and slips his hand inside, until it is completely covered. He feels the warm, smooth skin, the hard pectoral. He rubs his thumb against the soft hair that may or may not be found there. Flexes his fingers and hears Ray gasp.

He concentrates. He wants to be sure he has the dream clearly fixed in his mind, in case it is the last one he is ever able to have.

Then he jumps off the twelfth story of the Dahlstrom Amalgamated Insurance building (now, ironically, on fire) and hopes for the best.

Comments

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Oh, he'll be fine. He's Fraser! Slows his fall with some curtains... gets caught on a protruding flagpole... is rescued by a news helicopter.

[nataliadarimini.livejournal.com]

I absolutely adore this. It's so very sweet.

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[elbomac.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful.

Fraser smells smoke. "May I unbutton your shirt?"

Ray glances bashfully here and there before giving a sly wink and saying, "Why not? It's your fantasy."

I really liked this bit - the bashful glance, then the sly wink works so well! You really worked the - doubleness? - to great effect.

I've enjoyed everything you've posted, in fact; sorry not to have commented before now.

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Thank you! It's that wink he gives in Burning Down the House. Gets me every time.

[take-no-ko.livejournal.com]

Very clever, I like it a lot. :) And the WH Auden reference is very clever.

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Fraser having a poetry/love/death connection, I figured it made sense. Of course Fraser has to stop him before he finishes the line.

[janne-d.livejournal.com]

Wow, interesting. And apparently my fault, which is cool.

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Yes it is, Madame Foxtrot.

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

Very inventive. So glad to have made your acquaintance!

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Oh, likewise. (*Still* periodically busting out laughing about "What's that, Fraser? Eat ice for a week? Because I think we did that.")

[shayheyred.livejournal.com]

It so delights me that you liked that line, because to me it's the most Ray Kowalski-like line in the story. Yay!

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

It so is. He just appears and physically says it.

[torakowalski.livejournal.com]

Eeep! But aww! But eeep! Fraser!

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

You wouldn't believe how long I spent calculating "exactly how many stories up does it have to be before even Fraser thinks he's going to die?"

[j-s-cavalcante.livejournal.com]

Ooh...you do a lot with very few words. I admire that SO much. We all know Fraser will survive the jump somehow. How wonderful that he wanted to fix such a romantic image in his mind in case he didn't make it, though!

Hopefully, he'll have the courage to go enact the scene for real with Ray once he's got his feet on the ground again.

Hope you have a great week.

J S

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

It comes off as romantic, not pervy? I figured Fraser would have a very localized fantasy, like a knight getting off on his lady's glove.

Thanks!

[j-s-cavalcante.livejournal.com]

No, doesn't seem pervy, but maybe that's because he's not doing it with just the uniform but with Ray in the uniform?

Now, the knight and the lady's glove, that's a bit pervy, yet romantic at the same time, and I agree with you there; it's very Fraser.

J S

This is awesome.

[the-emef.livejournal.com]

I've read this three times today and every time I think it's more awesome.

Re: This is awesome.

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Gosh, thank you. Rereading is so nice to hear.

[bluebrocade.livejournal.com]

Please continue to "obnoxiously overpost." This was fabulous. *g*

[joandarck.livejournal.com]

Thank you! Well, if you insist... heh. heh. heh.