Secrets Challenge, by etcetera-cat

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Title: Tissue/Layer
Author: etcetera_cat
Rating: G
Characters: RayV
Warnings: Nothing, apart from this being my first go at this?


Tissue/Layer.

His life is made of a tissue of secrets.

Topmost; daytime-self, the person that sees sunlight. Armando Langoustini is a Concerned Citizen of Las Vegas. His housekeeper buys third-world fair-trade organic produce at shockingly chic markets and his gardener tends the very latest in xeroscaping.

Armando Langoustini is on first name terms with the Mayor and the Sheriff and a selection of the most influential casino owners. They go to each other’s ‘events’ and the extravagant and upmarket birthday parties they throw for their children.

The Mayor’s kids have taken a real shine to Uncle Armando, especially since he booked them a whole circus for a day.

Next in; night-time man, the person that smokes hideously expensive cigarillos. This is Mr. Langoustini. His right-hand man buys third-world arms-trade weapons on the black market and his accountant tends to the very latest in untraceable off-shore bank accounts.

Mr. Langoustini knows the first names of everyone within his world. He also knows the first names of their parents and their partners and their children. He makes sure that they know he knows by sending every single person a birthday card. It always has a flower and a bee on the front and the inside is always blank.

Many of Mr. Langoustini’s underlings call him ‘Boss’, especially when he looks at them with a dead-eyed expression.

Inside; hidden away, the person that is faintly surprised that it’s possible to become tired of wearing Armani suits. He’s not been seen for thirteen months, five days, two hours and forty-two minutes and he gave up trying to calculate the seconds during the second month.

Raymond Vecchio wonders what’s happening in Chicago. He wonders who is playing his life and driving his Riv. He wonders how many times Benny’s thrown them out of a window, and whether or not the wolf has bitten them yet.

Nobody knows about this Raymond Vecchio and he’s beginning to forget who he really is.

Comments

[eledhwenlin]

This was lovely. A very intriguing piece into Ray Vecchio during his time in Vegas. :)

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Thank you, I'm glad that you think so!

[china_shop]

Oh, wonderful! Poor Vecchio!

I really like the structure of this, the burrowing in. :-)

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[lipstickcat.livejournal.com]

Ohh, that digs deep. Its wonderful and provoking, and I find the 6th paragraph extremely menacing...

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

That's pretty much what I was aiming for, so I'm glad that you were menaced! ^_^

[lucifercircle.livejournal.com]

Lovely. I really like the mirroring between day and night Langoustini. And the description of 'lost' Ray is perfect.

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Thank you! The mirroring idea turned up after I'd actually written most of this, so I then had to go back and rewrite pretty much everything-- I'm glad that it seems to have been worth it ^_^

[mergatrude.livejournal.com]

Excellent look at this - I love the layers.

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Thank you-- glad that the layer thing worked out, as I wasn't entirely sure if it only made sense in my head or not.

[izzybeth.livejournal.com]

oh Ray. but he finds himself again, right? god, if anyone needs a happy ending it's him. the details here are spot on. this was lovely.

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

He certainly does! Thanks for reading.

[akite.livejournal.com]

Your first go? Really? Well, it was a good one. That last line is a killer.

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

At ds_flashfiction and writing Vecchio- yep! Thanks very much for reading ^_^

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

That line just popped into my head and seemed to sum up for me how I guessed Ray would be feeling after being undercover for so long. It was actually the first bit of this that was written and I then had to think of something to construct around it. ^_^

[nos4a2no9.livejournal.com]

Oh, ouch. And wow. I love these Vecchio-in-Vegas fics and this condenses everything I love about those stories (and the man) into a tight little package. The structure is inspired and I love the portrait you paint of "Concerned Citizen" Armando and nightime Langoustini. The lost Vecchio is particularily brilliant. I can't help but think of all those wonderful RayK/Fraser stories that happen while Vecchio's away, and I can't help but feel those stories are built on this fundamentally tragic foundation of RayV slowly disapearing. *sigh*

Anyway, fantastic snippet. Can I beg for more RayV from you in the near future? You capture him so perfectly!

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Well, this kind of jumped out of me from nowhere (literally-- standing around at work making up surgical packs and then bam! the line about wearing Armani kicked me in the nose) so I'm not entirely sure. I'd certainly like to write some more-- both Vecchio and sparse language-- so hopefully inspiration will hunt me down again soon!

[sundara.livejournal.com]

You make us feel his loneliness, his menace, his determination to accomplish the goal...which is slowly eroding in the face of his daily realities. Really great.

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Thank you! ^_^

[keerawa.livejournal.com]

I love the mirroring between daytime and nighttime Armando's minions. Those birthday cards are seriously chilling.

Ray, Ray, slipping away.

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Chilling was what I was aiming for, so I'm pretty glad you said that ^_^ Thanks for reading.

[vienna-waits.livejournal.com]

I can't say much that hasn't already been said (but "third-world fair trade organic produce" vs. "third-world arms-trade weapons" is BRILLIANT!). The parallels in structure are really wonderful. Welcome to flashfiction, and thanks for bringing such a nice story with you! Come back soon!

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Thank you, thank you and thank you very kindly! ^_^;;

[spuffyduds.livejournal.com]

Joining in the chorus of approval for the parallel structuring, and the Armani, and this is just wonderful.

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Thanks! ^_^

[viciouscats.livejournal.com]

Oh, RayV angst! This is wonderful. :)

[etcetera-cat.livejournal.com]

Thank you!