Midsummer Amnesty 2008: Mute Fraser challenge by sageness

[sage]

A Tumultuous Serenity
340~ words of PG-13 Ray/Ray / FKV.
Many thanks to mergatrude for reading through the early version. This is for china_shop, who asked, What is the sound of two Rays kissing in the forest?





What is the sound of two Rays kissing in the forest?

That would be the sound of Fraser's breath hitching as he stares and stares and wants and gulps past the lump in his throat and adjusts himself in his thermals. He stifles his fervent "Oh!" but nonetheless lets slip a tiny, helpless sigh.

Somehow sensing it, because they couldn't possibly have heard it over the wet music of their mouths, Ray Kowalski and Ray Vecchio look up, look around, and see him lurking half-behind a convenient Fraser fir. Fraser can't look away, even though he is caught as surely as if he were trapped in a snare. Ray and Ray look back at each other with naked courage. They wear their hearts on their sleeves. Desire shines, shameless, in their eyes.

More kisses pass between them, gentle-understanding-love-you-absolutely sorts of kisses; and when they look back at Fraser, they each cock their heads, extend a hand toward him, and say, after he doesn't move, "Well?"

"Come on," Ray Vecchio says with studied casualness, but there's love in his face, Fraser thinks. He checks to make certain it isn't merely an effect of the dappled evergreen light, but no; Ray Vecchio is sincere. And impatient.

"Fraser?" says Ray Kowalski softly, and his fingers curl on air. Fraser doesn't second guess Ray Kowalski's hands. "C'mere," Ray says.

And with that, Fraser slips his invisible snare and takes a step, and then another, traversing the soft forest floor as if it were a tightrope.

His Rays, his, for he has always thought of them so, are grinning with an amalgam of triumph and shy hope. A final step, and Ray Kowalski's thumb brushes incandescent over Fraser's right cheek. Ray Vecchio cups his left shoulder and an old, old ache in the center of Fraser's chest flares bright, flares white hot for a moment, and vanishes.

Fraser closes his eyes. Their hands, their breath, their strange and wonderful resonance; they are his partners. They are still his partners.

Fraser opens his eyes and reaches out.



 

Comments

[zabira.livejournal.com]

i just died in a shower of sparks, glitter and TOTAL LOVE. OMG.

&hearts &hearts &hearts

this line made my heart clench: And with that, Fraser slips his invisible snare and takes a step, and then another, traversing the soft forest floor as if it were a tightrope.

oh, fraser.

[sage]

Thank you so much, hon! :)

[lamentables.livejournal.com]

I love how I can read this in so many different ways: literal, dream, fantasy, magic, or even a post-death sequence. Lovely.

[sage]

*adores this comment to pieces*

♥

[china_shop]

Oh! LOVES!!!!! This bit makes me flail:

Ray Vecchio cups his left shoulder and an old, old ache in the center of Fraser's chest flares bright, flares white hot for a moment, and vanishes.

And the quiet foresty music of the whole thing. *smooooooshcakes*

*twirls you* Made of win. Thank you so muchhhhh!

[sage]

Thank YOU for sharing the line that started it! I'm so glad you liked it. ♥

[petronelle.livejournal.com]

Oh, *boys.*

[sage]

Yup, they so ARE. *g*

[noctuabunda.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow.
This was just plain beautiful, the whole atmosphere so serene and almost magical. Thank you for sharing.

[sage]

Thank you! What a lovely comment. :)

[luzula]

Oh, wow. That's just--so beautiful and lyrical.

[sage]

Thank you so much! :)

[jadelennox]

*snuggles into this snippet*

[sage]

*beams*

What I loved most was that writing this was a return (for me) to the definition of a flashfic, where you get an inspiration and write down the first thing that comes. Revision is fine, but it's about that heightened sense of immediacy. I've missed that.

[akite.livejournal.com]

Lovely. ♥

[sage]

Thank you!

[sdwolfpup.livejournal.com]

Awwwwwwwwww. And ohhhhh, so beautiful! This, especially, got me:

Ray Vecchio cups his left shoulder and an old, old ache in the center of Fraser's chest flares bright, flares white hot for a moment, and vanishes.

And Fraser trusting Ray K's hands! So much in a little space. :)

[belmanoir.livejournal.com]

hee! we totally quoted the same two lines.

[meresy.livejournal.com]

Bwee!

*manymany hearts*

Fraser doesn't second guess Ray Kowalski's hands.

Yesyesyesyes, that.

*smooshes them*

[sage]

Awww, yay! Thank you! :)

[keerawa.livejournal.com]

What an incredibly resonant piece. The scene is still here, in the room with me. Thank you!

[sage]

Oh, yay, I'm so glad to hear that. Thank you! :)

[catwalksalone]

Lovely!

[sage]

Thank you! :D

[belmanoir.livejournal.com]

Fraser doesn't second guess Ray Kowalski's hands.

Ray Vecchio cups his left shoulder and an old, old ache in the center of Fraser's chest flares bright, flares white hot for a moment, and vanishes.

::LOVES::

[sage]

*beams*

Thank you! :D

[cathalin.livejournal.com]

This is absolutely *gorgeous*, and moving for me to read even though I have no idea who these people are, none. Wow, Sage, just, wow. So much beauty - I particularly loved "doesn't second guess Ray Kowalski's hands" and the thumb brushing "incandescent over Fraser's right cheek," but the whole thing is chock full of amazing writing.

Go, you! \o/

[sage]

Oh, wow, Cath, thank you! And omg, I think you would ADORE Due South. It's the hot-smart-funny-heartachey-loving-magicalrealism-squooshy-and-wonderful-est little bit of Canadian television ever. It is made of love. ♥

[brynnmck.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was beautiful! All the lines that everyone else already quoted, and then also this:

His Rays, his, for he has always thought of them so

That's just... oh, FRASER. Like SDW said, so much packed into a little space. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

[sage]

Yay, thank you! *beams* I'm so glad you enjoyed, hon. :D

[thady.livejournal.com]

Oh, this was beautiful! So much, so many layers in so few words! I love this so much!

[sage]

Aww, thank you! I'm so glad. :D

[brigantine.livejournal.com]

*g* Poor Fraser, so gobsmacked he can't even get the words out - and it's up to the Rays to save the day! :D

[sage]

Yes, yes, exactly! :)

[mergatrude.livejournal.com]

YAY! Yes! The ending is &hearts .

*cheers the awesome reception this piece deserves*

*especially hearts lamentables comment*

*twirls you gently*

[sage]

YAY! And YES! And Thank YOU so much for the early read-through. ♥

*snugs you much*

[arrow00.livejournal.com]

He checks to make certain it isn't merely an effect of the dappled evergreen light

oh, *Fraser*, oh beautiful kissing Rays, still his partners.

::wibbles::

Ray Vecchio cups his left shoulder and an old, old ache in the center of Fraser's chest flares bright, flares white hot for a moment, and vanishes.

EEE.

a two-polar bear thank you (http://imgs.sfgate.com/n/pictures/2008/06/19/twins13.jpg)

[sage]

Awww, thank you! Yay bears! ♥

[snarkyducky.livejournal.com]

They wear their hearts on their sleeves.

His Rays, his, for he has always thought of them so,

they are his partners. They are still his partners.


gah. you slay me ded. well and truly. ♥

[sage]

*revives*

Thank you so much. I'm very glad you liked it. :)

[viciouscats.livejournal.com]

So lovely!

[sage]

Thank you! :)

[nos4a2no9.livejournal.com]

Sage, this was beautiful. Just stunning. The descriptions were so detailed and evocative and perfect, and it really felt like every single word was carefully considered and slotted into the exact right order. You've done such a good job conveying the need and want and desire and hesitancy and fear and arousal Fraser experiences, and you put it all together seamlessly. This is a short but powerful piece, and it is beeee-utiful. Great job, m'dear.

[sage]

Aww, thank you, honey! The first draft was very different (sort of an inchoate blob of Fraser wanting) from how it turned out. Apparently I'm writing in layers now. Like painting? Base coat, dark figures, foregrounding, etc. Not that I know much of anything about painting but if it worked, YAY!

[snoopypez.livejournal.com]

oh. oh, BOYS.

Ray Vecchio cups his left shoulder and an old, old ache in the center of Fraser's chest flares bright, flares white hot for a moment, and vanishes.

That line, especially, maybe made me whimper out loud.

[sage]

Aww, thank you! I'm so glad it worked for you! :D

[mrs-laugh-track.livejournal.com]

Oh god, this whole thing is so incredibly gorgeous. I'm kind of in awe.

there's love in his face, Fraser thinks. He checks to make certain it isn't merely an effect of the dappled evergreen light, but no; Ray Vecchio is sincere.

♥♥♥ LOVE. Ray loves Fraser and Ray loves Ray and Ray loves Fraser and everyone is in love. The end.

[sage]

*blush* Thank you! I'm so happy you enjoyed it. :)